She Taught Me How To Love

"If anyone asked me what impact Leigh had on my life, I could easily tell them. She taught me how to love." After four long years of a highly successful career, news of his childhood sweetheart sends international pop sensation Harry Styles into a whirlwind of emotions he believed had been forgotten all those years ago. As he struggles to become the person she always believed he could be, he learns once more that it is possible to love with the entirety of his heart.
©Ohhipstaplease 2014


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7. Open Letters

CHAPTER FIVE

Open Letters

Weeks passed before I had finally found the perfect home. It made me sad to think I was in a way leaving Louis behind, but I was happy to finally have a real home for Emma. It was perfect, I think Leigh would have loved it. There was a perfect grassy slope with a beautiful oak tree in the backyard. The moment I saw it I immediately imagined Emma running up and down that slope, just as her mother and I had when we were younger.

As I finished packing the remnants of my room, Louis walked in with Emma in his arms. "Mate, i'm gonna miss having you around"

"Oh please, I saw Eleanor’s stuff already in my closet"

Louis laughs shamelessly "Okay, you got me"

"Give me my baby" Emma holds her arms out and I grab her. She kisses my cheek and I chuckles "Did you miss daddy baby?" she nods solemnly causing Louis to burst out laughing.

"Aw Emma didn't you have fun with Uncle Louis?"

She giggles "No"

Louis brings his hands to his heart "Em, you're killing me love"

She giggles again and I kiss her cheeks, causing her to erupt in a fit of laughter. Louis looks at the boxes around us and sees the shoe box. "Harry aren't you going to read those?"

I look at the box, sighing loudly "Maybe"

"Mate, just read them"

"Alright, take Emma. I'm going to do this"

"Right now?"

"Either I do it now or put it off again"

He nods as I put Emma on the floor. Louis gets down to her level and looks at her sternly "I shouldn't even be taking you back missy, you don't appreciate me" She swings her chubby hand lightly across his face. He laughs "You sure got your uncle's sass Emma"

I turns to look at the shoe box after they leave. My hands are unsteady as I set it on the desk and lift the top. I sits in my chair and look at the first envelope, I take a deep breath and open it.

–❈–

Dear Harry,                                                                   

Today I set you free. I threw you into the wind hoping that the wind underneath your wings would carry you farther than you've ever been. I let you go with the hopes that you'll be happy. I want you to be happy love.

It's been months since we've had a proper conversation. Weeks since you've looked at me with that twinkle in your eyes.

Days since you've told me you loved me.

Maybe it's just time.

I want to tell you Harry, so badly. But I know that it'll jeopardize everything you've worked for so far. That's why i'm going to leave.

I'm pregnant Harry, with our baby.

I wish that things could work out better, I wish that you could always be by my side.

By our side.

But, at last. It's not practical.

I promise you this child will grow up knowing who her father is. She will grow up to be a kind hearted wild child just like her daddy with the untameable spirit of her mother. I promise you i'll love both of you forever Harry. Forever, no matter what.

I'm sorry I couldn't tell you.

I'm sorry love.

Leigh xx.

–❈–

Dear Harry,

Today I gave birth to the most beautiful little girl in the entire world. Her name is Emma Grace Styles. She was born with a head of curls and dimples like her daddy. She's perfect love. Absolutely perfect.

Leigh xx.

–❈–

Dear Harry,

Emma is now four months old. Everyday when we wake up I put on your album so we can listen to you singing to us. She's in love with your voice. She smiles whenever she hears it.

Her eyes are just like mine, blue and shimmering. But her smile is yours love, dimples and all. I can tell she's going to be a cheek flirt like her father.

Day after day I remind her who her daddy is. She claps her hands excitedly whenever I show her a picture of you. She falls asleep to your songs.

Although you aren't in her life, you've made a bigger impact than I have.

We love you.

Leigh xx.

–❈–

Dear Harry,

Our baby took her first steps today. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. She just suddenly decided to run across her room to the poster of you. She was saying "Daddy" the whole time.

I'd like to think that if she'd ever meet you, she'd feel as if she already knew you. She's heard your voice, seen your face, and heard every possible detail I could remember about you. She's in love with her daddy. She truly is.

I'd like to think she truly admires you.

I'd like to think she's a daddy's girl.

I pray that one day you two could finally meet each other. You both deserve a beautiful love in your life, you truly do. That little girl is the best part of my life, I know she would be yours too.

I know things never turned out as planned, but things happen for a reason. At least I’d like to think that.

We love you Harry,

Leigh xx.

–❈–

I sigh loudly putting the letters neatly back in the box. I put my head in my hands, trying to wrap my mind around this. No wonder Emma was so easily taken with me. No wonder she so easily came to me as if she already knew me. Our bond had already been established before we met. Our love for each other started to blossom before I even knew she existed. Thanks to Leigh.  And Leigh, my sweet Leigh. She never resented me. She never hated me. I did this all to her and she still loved me. She still raised our child to love me. To love us. Even though I was never there. Tears pooled in my eyes and as I hastily swat at them as I hear a knock at the door.

"Mate?"

"Come in"

Louis opens the door and walks in with Emma. "Harry?"

I nod" I'm alright"

“Good. Alright, I’ll start moving these boxes, you bring the car around then” Louis says lifting two boxes and making his way  out the door. Emma looks up at me and smiles.

“Love, are you going to help daddy?”

She nods and grabs a small box and nudges it out the door. I smirk at her cute attempts to help and grab my keys off the dresser and the box off my desk. Looking back one last time at my now empty room.

–❈–

As I load the last box into the car, Louis puts Emma in her seat. "Baby, you better visit your uncle everyday" She nods and giggles.

“Thanks for everything mate"

"Harry don't make this more than it is. This isn't goodbye wanker, I’m going to see you later with the lads for dinner”

"All right I’ll see you later tonight then"

He smiles, "Okay Harry"

I get into the car and turn to look at Emma. "Are you ready to see your new house baby?" She claps excitedly. I smile widely. It was time for a much needed change.

–❈–

As we arrive to the house, Emma presses her small nose against the cool window.  She giggles as I turn to look back at her. "Emma do you want to see the new house?" Her little blonde pigtales bob as she nods excitedly. I quickly park the Range Rover and unbuckle her from her seat. She clings to me as I look in my pocket for the new keys. I pulls them out and smile at the reflection I see of us  in the shiny metal. We walk across the grassy front yard and reach the blue door. She smiles as I puts the key in and open the door.

"Home" she says smiling at me.

"Yes baby, home" I say tapping her nose lightly. She looks in wonder as we cross the threshold. "Big house" she says as I walk with her into the kitchen. I take her around the first floor and she looks happily at her new home.

We climb the wooden stairs to reach the second floor where our rooms and the guest rooms were. Her room is light pink, decorated with beautiful silk curtains and lace embellishments. It's fit for a princess. On the wall facing her bed are three pictures. I had them blown up to a poster size and fitted them in white frames. The first one is of Leigh and I on our grassy slope. The second of Emma in her mother's arms the day she was born. And the third was one Louis had taken of Emma and I a few weeks ago. Above the portraits two paper planes were drawn to make it seem as if they were flying together. I bring her closer to the wall and she runs her hand across the picture of Leigh and I.

"Pretty mommy" she says smiling.

I  nods. "Very pretty mommy"

She looks at him and utters rather seriously, "Daddy, Emma  miss mommy"

I didn’t know what to say, except "I miss her too baby"

–❈–

Happiness and warmth fills our new home as the boys settle in to watch a movie. Niall holds Emma in his lap, as always. It makes me laugh to think that she is slowly starting to gain a bit of an Irish accent from listening to Niall all day.

"Who's my princess?" Niall says as he tickles her lightly. Emma giggles loudly, her laughter bouncing off the walls.

"Stop hogging her" Louis says walking over to him and taking her. She fidgets in Louis' lap and eventually climbs off and makes her way to me. She curls up in my lap with her rag doll and happily hums. The boys turn to look at me and smile widely.

"Mate, have you ever thought of...well you know?" Louis says raising his hands in a suggestive manner, Niall bursts out laughing.

"Louis I’m not going to date while I’m raising a child"

Liam turns to look at me and says in a serious tone "Harry, it's not wrong for you to look for love"

I shakes my head "I have to learn how to love before I can look for it again"

“Wow, that was pretty fucking mature” Louis says with amusement.

“Hey, I told you to lay off the swears around Em” I claim as I cover Emma’s ears

“Mate, I’m pretty sure she can still hear”

“That’s beside the point, lay off the swears”

Louis laughs loudly “Yep, you’ve got the dad thing down to a tee”

“All you need is someone to play the part of mommy” Niall says raising his eyebrows. Zayn snickers and reaches to play with Emma.

“Bug off, and stop eating on my new couch” I say laughingly.

Niall grabs his bag of crisps and walks off to the kitchen “Such a dad” he mumbles, making us all dissolve into laughter.

“Think about it though Harry, you deserve to be happy too” Louis says turning to me.

I simply look down at Emma and smile, I was already happy with just my little girl.

 

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