She Taught Me How To Love

"If anyone asked me what impact Leigh had on my life, I could easily tell them. She taught me how to love." After four long years of a highly successful career, news of his childhood sweetheart sends international pop sensation Harry Styles into a whirlwind of emotions he believed had been forgotten all those years ago. As he struggles to become the person she always believed he could be, he learns once more that it is possible to love with the entirety of his heart.
©Ohhipstaplease 2014


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11. False Hope

CHAPTER NINE

False Hope

"So are we ever going to talk about what the social worker said?" Louis says looking at me from across his kitchen.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean when you were talking about the past two years"

I sigh as I put the bags of groceries down onto the counter and finally look at Louis "Edie said she understood, and she knows i'm a different person now."

"Oh does she now?"

I roll my eyes as I place the bananas in the fruit bowl "What, Louis?"

"I don't know mate, I think it's nice that she understands. I don't think many people would."

I shrug, knowing he was right, "Yes, well she is working on our case. It would be beneficial if she understood."

"You know that's not what I mean."

"What do you mean then, Lou."

"Well, Harry, you know it wouldn't hurt to have a new friend."

"Isn't that a conflict of interest?"

"Not necessarily, it's not like you're going to sleep with her. I just think it would be nice for you to have another friend who understood."

"How touching." I say lifting a hand to my chest.

"Alright, wanker. I show a little compassion and all I get is sarcasm." he turns and looks at the fruit bowl, "Get these bananas out of my house, you know I hate them. What are you anyway, a chimp? All you eat is bloody bananas."

"Hey, i'm always here, I think I deserve to keep some of my fruit here."

"You lost that right when you moved out." he says grabbing the fruit and putting it back into the grocery bag it came from.

"Aw, Lou. You're still bitter about me moving out?"

"No." he says chuckling "I just hate the smell of bananas, so take them to your own home."

"Don't act like you don't miss me."

"How can I miss you, you're here all the time."

"Touche."

"But, I wouldn't have it any other way."

–❈–

As I grab Emma from her car seat, she groggily looks up at me before finally falling back asleep on my shoulder. A few days have passed without any word from Edie, and I am becoming more apprehensive by the second. What if...No, I wouldn't think that way. I check that the doors are closed and finally start walking towards our house, when I notice that Edie's car is in the driveway. As I look up onto our porch, I see that she is sitting on the front steps. 
"Edie?"

"Hi Harry." she says with a strange expression on her face.

"What's up?"

"Oh, well, I heard back from social services about Emma getting to go on tour with you"

"Already?"

"Yes, well" she looks down and grabs her briefcase "Maybe we should have a cuppa and talk it over?"

"Alright" Emma shifts a bit in my arms as I open the door and let Edie in,"Let me just put her in bed, can you start the kettle?" she looks at me wide eyed, "It's quite alright, the kettle is in the top covert" she smiles slightly and proceeds to take off her coat as I turn and walk in the direction of Emma's room. 

I place Emma into her bed gently and kiss her on her forehead "Goodnight my little sunshine" I whisper before finally exiting quietly and shutting the door behind me. When I walk into the kitchen I smile as I see Edie walking around with her bare feet and setting out the mugs. 

"Oh sorry" she mutters as she sees me eyeing her feet "It's been a really long day, I just needed to relax a bit"

"It's fine, no problem" I say as I lift the two mugs and set them upon the table. She walks over and takes the seat by the window, as always.

She lifts her mug, as if contemplating what to say next "Look, Harry" she sighs loudly and puts the mug back down "I don't have good news" My stomach drops as she looks at me guiltily "They don't want Emma to leave on tour with you"

"But"

"I know Harry, you're not the same person. But, um, they don't think that six months is enough to allow you to take Emma with you for such a long time."

"Edie, what can we do?"

"Well, i've submitted an appeal. We have to appear in court two weeks before your tour starts."

"Can we win this?"

Edie remains expressionless as she takes a sip from her mug, "We'll have to try our hardest won't we?"

–❈–

I slowly trudge back to my room as soon as Edie leaves. We had discussed the possibilities of winning the case, any possible strategies we could use, and  everything we could possibly think of. She was as helpful as she could be, but honestly I couldn't accept the fact that I could possibly lose Emma. Whether it be for a day or a week or six months, I could not think of being without her for even a moment.

But the past never dies when we reinvent ourselves, we could deny it all we want, but it's a part of us we carry forever. I had made so many mistakes in the past, and I was willing to own up to them. But would it even make a difference at this point? Like Simon said all those years ago, it didn't really matter what I said because everybody had already made up their mind about me. I was written off by everyone, and before it didn't phase me. But now, lying here confronted with the fact that I could lose my daughter, I realize that some mistakes couldn't be erased. Some actions couldn't be forgotten. And even though people change, sometimes it doesn't matter. 

Sometimes all people care about is the past, the mistakes, and the failures.

And I was stupid to think otherwise. 

I can't imagine a life without my Emma. But all I could see was my past once again ruining any promise of a future. Ruining any chance at a life. I believed so deeply that someday the past would be left where it was supposed to be. But believing was turning out to be nothing more than false hope. 

I shut my eyes tightly and try to push away the tears. When I suddenly here the door open. I pretend to be asleep as I hear her feet slip on the wooden floor. She quietly climbs up onto my bed and snuggles into the crook of my arm. Her little hand traces my cheek, finding the teary trail I was ashamed she had to see. 

"Daddy no cry" she said quietly "Daddy happy" she pressed her fingers onto the contours of my face, tracing a smile. 

"Daddy's always happy with you baby." I lift her up and she giggles as I put her on my right side "Go back to sleep okay?"

"Okay, Emma love you" she kisses me on my cheek and I smile widely.

"I love you too Emma"

–❈–

As I lay here once more, lightly brushing Emma's hair off her face as she sleeps I realize that perhaps hope doesn't have to be false. Looking at her I realize that hope was very much alive. For her I would never give up, I would never stop fighting. I would give everything I owned to make sure she was happy. I would give my own life it mean she was safe.

This little girl, she deserved nothing less than the entirety of the world. 

For her, I would do anything.

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