I don't want to be yours. I don't want to be anybodies. I want to be me. I want to be Boston. I want to forget about the past and live my life. I want to be noticed but unnoticed by you. Leave me alone, Liam, because this time we really will kill each other. Don't try and find me, because I don't want my memories to haunt me like they happened yesterday. Like Hollywood says, two celebrities never make it out alive. And we are the perfect example.


16. facing the truth

I had my head against Liam's chest. His breathing heavy as seconds before he was deep inside me as I came around him. Moments later his own warm whiteness was expelled onto my stomach and stayed there partly untouched.

I should go get clothing. Clean up the mess around us. I kissed his chest as I stood up and place my hand on the doorknob.

"Don't," Liam said as his hand measured around my ankle. "Look at yourself."

He looked away from me as he said it, his hair being pushed back by his hand.

"What--?" All words left my mouth as I saw myself in the mirror. "Oh." Dried blood covered my arms, my clothing. It was his. I immediately took the towel from the hanger and ran It under the water.

Liam had sat himself upright and leaned against the basin of the bathtub. He watched me intently as I started to remove his blood from my body.

"I don't understand why you still allow me to touch you," he said from the floor. I looked at his reflection as I continued to look from him and back to the spots of dry red. "I've done nothing but make you look like a whore and destroyed you enough to harm yourself."

"Liam," I started. We've already discussed this. None of this was his fault, any of it, and yet he still believes it's his doing.

"Please," he finished. "Don't tell me I've done nothing wrong. You know I'm dominant, you know I can't think of anything else but to destroy your virtue."

"Don't you think you've already done that?" I turned around, dropping the towel into the sink. "Why can't you go back to who you first were? Why can't you go back to being submissive, and enjoy the love I give you and not the love that is forced."

"You know I can't do that, Bo," he said looking up at me.

"Have you tried?"

"I'm not experimenting with you," he said flatly.

"Yes you will. I will show you what it's like to be under someone else's command. Face the truth, Liam, you're scared."

"What?" His eyes opened wide, incredulous.

"You're scared that you will enjoy submissive--."

"No," he interrupted. "I'm scared of being more rough than I already am."

I walked closer to him, and leaned down till my knees hit the hard surface. I was covering his upper thighs, straddling him.

"You won't be," I told him, reassuring him. "I will let you know if you're being too rough. But Liam you can't be the controlling one forever. I know Jess made you that way but you need to accept the love you think you deserve. If you believe that you deserve and are meant for my love than you must be willing to go extreme lengths to receive it. You can expect anyone to just give love to you, it doesn't work that never has."

He looked away from me and exhaled, "You scare me. Your attitude, your strength, something I will never have."

"Not so sure about that," I said. "I've done some less-powering things in my life. Now come on," I took his hand and pulled him from the floor. "Let's go finish breakfast."

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