My English Teacher

I put my trust in him. He showed me what it's like to love again and what it's like to be loved. But we will have to knock down walls to be together.

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3. Lunch Break

I collected my self before going to the next entry. 

"May 22nd 2012

School once again was hell. The girl thought it would be funny to film me changing and send it around. I am now a slut. I can no longer cry. It's pointless. Only two people talk to me my best friend Anna and Daniel's best friend Harry. Harry tries to protect me but he can't always. Anna well she is only there after school cause she goes to another one. 

I try to scream out but my lungs seem to collapse inwards, trapping me with my pain. I now let it out drop at a time, I need a release. I cut. I cut along my hips and thighs. The places the Daniel loved most. He was perfect. In every way. I remember two months into our relationship we had sex. The way he hovered over me, as if to shield me from the cruel world. But he is gone. I want nothing more than to be with him. I want nothing more that to be with him, to inhale his boyish scent. Daniel, I love you. I want to be with you. I am coming to see you soon. 

 

June 13th

I tried and failed. Harry ripped the rope from the roof bringing me down into his arms. He pestered me for questions. We argued and it ended with me telling him to go away. He stood in the door was his green eyes brimming with tears. The last words were "If you send me out this door, you send me out of your life. Don't expect me to come back." I told him that I didn't need him that he could go. He left, I only had Anna now. When I got home my dad stumbled around the corner his breath smelled heavily of alcohol. 

This was the first time he ever hit me. He told me I cost a lot of money, that I am nothing... while he beat me. I cried myself to sleep as pain surged through my body. Painful sobs racked my body that night. And worst was is that no one what there to save me. 

 

July 6th

Wow it's been a while. I feel weird doing this. But I have to tell you something. so... I was walking down the street the other night next to some clubs and bars when I was pulled into an alley...." 

I stopped. I remembered this night. Clearly. Mr. Tomlinson, was watching me intently. "Andrea why did you stop?" He asked. I shook my head not trusting my voice. He caught on that it was something bad. He reached for the journal. I threw it into my bag. I started to sob. He held me in his arms. I couldn't control my crying. His large hands rubbed my back trying to calm me down. 

"It's okay Andrea, it's gonna be okay." He said. 

"No it's not. It never will be. I bet you any money those bitches are going to say something like I threw myself at you, that I am nothing but a worthless whore. That I am nothing that I need to die, and the worst part Mr. Tomlinson is that they are right. They all are everyone." I cried. He just rocked me back and forth. 

"Andrea that's the thing the events that went on in this classroom today are between you and me. Just think Andrea you could have fun with those rumors. Because no one but you and me knows what went on today. It's our little secret." He whispered. I laughed. I was grateful that I had someone who would talk to me, care about me and listen to me like her did. But in the end he is my teacher and I'm his student. 

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