My English Teacher

I put my trust in him. He showed me what it's like to love again and what it's like to be loved. But we will have to knock down walls to be together.

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10. Lunch Break 2

The lunch bell rang and I stayed seated. Louis went and locked the door shut walking back over to me. He sat on the couch. I pulled out the brown leather book that was my journal. I opened to the last entry I read. 

"July 6th

Wow it's been a while. I feel weird doing this. But I have to tell you something. so... I was walking down the street the other night next to some clubs and bars when I was pulled into an alley.... I was confused at first till I saw two very intoxicated men. Instinct and fear pumped through my veins. I ran. I heard them holler after me. Soon I lost my footing. I flew face first into the hard ground. I was spun around. The two men hovered over me. They took off their ties and secured my hands. I was screaming and crying for help. But none ever came. They hit me till I couldn't scream. 

It's one thing to be raped. But another to have it done to you in an alley over and over again. They stabbed me once they were finished, they left me to bleed, to die. I wanted to. I wanted to die I felt so gross and dirty. They were never caught their lives never ruined. Mine was forever scarred. 

July 7th

For once my dad has been supportive. It's like a switch. A switch controlled by alcohol. My mum has been gone for a while. She does this a lot. Leaves and comes back. I just want to tell her to pfo. She makes me so angry. I don't want to go to school. To be faced with hell. Well I guess that means ttfn. "

I looked up at Louis he held me strongly in his arms. "Read the past few days please." He whispered. I went red but did as he said.

"April 21st 2013

When I bumped into him. I hated the fact he wore glasses. Covering his cerulean blue eyes. Everything about him annoyed me, his perfection annoyed me. His voice was lovely, and he is so gorgeous. I found it hilarious when he kicked the bitches out. But then at lunch the way he acted like he cared. He made me feel special, but I know that I am only another troubled student to him. Although I hate it that he makes me read my journal, it's invasive. But he knows he is the only person who knows. He doesn't treat me very differently he just treated me like me.

April 22nd 2013

He saved me. He saved me from hell. I can feel my walls dropping letting him in but its wrong. I know it is. He is my teacher. But at the same time I love him. I don't even trust writing this down but I did, I love him with all my heart. Daniel is still in there but he is gone. I have Lou, his perfection radiating off of him. I still can't believe it is all real. I saw Harry again, ironically he lives with Louis, but what do I really care.  But today he kissed me. I felt his perfect lips on mine. I didn't feel sparks, or fireworks or bombs. But instead I only felt him. I felt his body next to mine. I wanted him, I wanted more....."

I turned a bright red. I looked at Louis through my eye lashes. He had a smirk on his face.

"Do continue." He whispered. 

"I wanted his, mouth, his hands, his body. I had never had this feeling since Daniel. The feeling to be joined, to have him over me. To have him love and care for me. The feeling of him inside, was a feeling I craved. I needed. He was the perfection I needed in my fucked up life. He is what I want. 

April 23rd 2013

He told me he loved me, yet I still couldn't say it. I don't know why. I love him, with all my heart and yet I can't tell him. I want him to know, I need him to know but there is no way of expressing it. I think it has to do with my night mare. The room was scattered red, the gun still smoking. The changing faces. It was scary. The worst part is when I woke up I couldn't see him. I needed him. I thought he was gone. 

I want nothing more than to keep him safe. Him being with isn't safe. People get hurt around me. I don't want that for him. I love him too much."

I finished. I looked up to Louis who smashed his lips onto mine. I smiled into the kiss. 

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