Open Scars - One Direction [One Shot]

[ONE SHOT]

Open Scars is what you get when you cut in your self every day for feeling sorry for your self because you lost a friend... A friend who not just was one friend but a best friend.
When you lose that best friend because he saw a better life in his future was heartbroken.... Life was never easy for him and July knew. July was a girl who once had a best friend, and not only a best friend but actually Niall Horan. Ones he was just a boy who had family problems, love problems. Now you probably know him from the band One Direction. Niall forgot all about his life when he became famous.. He let everyone out.... Also the person who knew everything about him and his past life.. July

(Hear som sad music an you will cry your bum out of your pants)

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2. Open Scars [ONE SHOT]

My story

 

It all started in high school I remember everything like it was yesterday.

"Omg have you seen the new boy yet?" Camilla was one of my really good friends, I have known her since kinder garden.

I looked around but couldn’t see any new boy, and actually then I haven't heard of a new boy. I usually knew that kind of stuff, you can say I was all around the school. "No not at all, didn't even know that there was a new boy." I took my hand and bunch it through my hair so I look perfect and beautiful as always, I know I’m selfish but that good right?

 

"That’s him over there July" I looked behind me and I could stop laughing a little bit. "Is that the new boy? Omg he is wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt." Camilla looked closer at the boy and then started laughing with me. Okay so we were 15 not 7, and most important it's High school not kinder garden. Such a lame shirt really lame.

 

I hated the way our English teacher talked, it was like he had something sitting in his mouth so he couldn't talk. The new boy walked in from the door. FUCK why is that lame boy going to go in my class? I mean this could only go wrong couldn't it?

 

"So boys and girls this is Niall Horan he is going to start in our class." The class laughed a little and some even pointed at his shirt, it was so ugly even closer I’m sorry for probably being rude but it was so bad... "So Niall why don't you tell something about yourself." Mr. Kendrick smiled from his seat at the corner and somehow he seemed pretty calm about everything. "Okay. I'm Niall. Niall Horan. I'm 16 years old and I love singing and playing on my guitar and then I love eating. Food is my best friend. And then my shirt was my big brothers when he was my age and he died a few years ago on right this day and that’s why I look stupid but it means a lot to me." Every laugh in the class turned in to quietness... I think it was beautiful what he just said. Mr. Kendrick said we were going to tell things about us self, I was ready to tell him something cool. It was my turn and I was really nervous.

 

"Hi Niall. I'm July Scooper, and not scooter. I’m 15 years old and I love singing just like you and then I’m American like you can hear I don't have that Irish accent." Niall smiled at me with his really sweet smile, it calmed me down actually. "Great kids. July can you show Niall the school while we watch a movie about Vikings?" I smiled a lot because I loved talking with new people. Niall seemed really interesting and I liked that about him!

 

"So why did you move Niall?" I had shown him the school and now I thought it was time to know him better he seemed really interesting. "I was bullied a lot because of the person I am." I couldn't believe that people actually could bully a person like Niall. I mean he was really gentle. "Shit on them. They are probably just really jealous right?" Niall smiled and looked down in the ground like he was shy. "So what music do you like and sing?" He turned his head up again and looked at me with his water blue eyes. When I looked at his eyes it was like the whole world just stood still it was the perfect kiss moment but no.

 

"Don't laugh okay?" I was the type who laughed over everything but I would try not to at this point. "So I’m a Hugh fan of Justin Bieber and I love singing and playing his music" Why did he think I would laugh over that? It’s kind of cute. "Why would I laugh Justin is hot." Now it was Niall who laughed a lot. ”I used to be bullied about it. I was the only one who liked him at that moment" I took my hand and placed it on Nialls shoulder I clapped him a few times and told him that they weren't that smart if they bullied because of Justin Bieber.

 

"Want to do something after school July?" I didn't think he would ever ask but I actually really wanted to hang out with him, he seemed like a cute boy and a boy with a big Justin Bieber heart.

"Why not!"

 

"Sing for me Niall." He looked at me like I had said my mom was dead or something, you know that serious face. "Ill sing something I wrote myself then" He smiled and didn't look that serious anymore. "Okay sounds really good Niall!" He took a deep breath and started singing.

 

 

"It's not about the love, it’s not about the fact that you are near me but don't see me I try to scream but you don't listen"

 

My heart just stopped for some minutes that was beautiful and makes me think about why he wrote that. "Wow Niall your voice is so amazing."  He hugged me and it felt like the world stopped and looked at us with smiling eyes.

After that day me and Niall was always together. Almost every day and we loved it! We became best friends for life. We talked about everything from food to hard things like I didn't eat much because I was fat, or I believed I was.

Once Niall just opened up for me and told me secrets that I don't think anyone knew besides me.

“Once I got sexually abused by my own uncle” WHAT. It came as a chock, how could that happened. My tears formed in my eyes and I was ready to cry. “Niall. I’m so sorry are you okay? Come here” My hands pulled Niall in to a hug, I knew he needed one right away. “It’s a long and boring story, but you’re my best friend and I trust you. You are the only one who knows this” I couldn’t stop being happy about him really trusting me, it makes me happy to know that we felt the same way about each other.  “Please tell me it’s a long time ago” my heart pounded fast. “It’s 3 years ago. My uncle told me that the way you showed love to another person was to be you know abused... He said it was love and if I told any it would be love anymore” Nialls eyes was drained and looked terrible. His tears filled down on his lap. His head came near me and he laid it on my shoulder. “It’s okay to cry darling. I’m right here.”

I couldn’t help my self-thinking about how awkward it was to see his uncle to family parties or Christmas or something. I totally remember the winter 2009. Niall invited me to this dinner party at his family… And his uncle came. How I just wanted to take a big thing a hit him in the head many times, what he did to Niall was disgusting.

“Niall. How nice to see you again. So long time ago.” Niall looked nervous at me and took his hand around me. “Hello Uncle Bart.” Bart hugged Niall. It looked so awkward and unkind, I was ready to attack. All the pain from Niall played Ludo in my body… “Niall lets go.” I took Niall close to me and we got a seat in the sofa and there we just sat and talked about everything. “He creeps me out. Bart.” Nialls mom came over to us and said hi. She was so kind. “Niall come here for a second.” His Uncle Bart called him from the other room. I did not like that he was going to be in there alone with him, I felt bad for Niall. People say you can’t hate on a person but I really hated Bart.

After an hour Niall came back. His eyes was drained for life Niall took a hard crap in my arm. “Mom bye. We need to leave right away okay. Love you.” Niall kissed his mom on her cheeks, kind of sweet.
“Niall what wrong. It hurts.” His crap was really hard and it didn’t fell right. “What’s wrong...? Bart. Bart yelled at me. He knew I told you. How he knew. I don’t know. He said he felt it.” My heart stopped for a minute and I stopped walking and hugged Niall. Hugged him for a long time. “Stay away from him. He can’t hurt you right?” Niall kissed me in my hair. “No he can’t and I won’t let him.”

That moment was really terrifying. Life is hard. Really hard.
Niall and I had a really close relationship, we were almost like that old couple across the street. We could fight, love or laugh together and I loved it.

Nialls Life was about his singing and I really wanted him to be a singer so you can say that I pushed him a little bit to go to the x factor shows.

Niall stroked his hand through my hair, it felt nice to lay besides him. Our relationship was much more than just best friends. He was like that brother I never got. "Niall. I’m serious, it could change your life and be perfect" I smiled with the biggest smile I could form on my lips and hoped he would do the same but instead he hit me with a small pillow. "Idiot." I tickled him on his stomach so he laughed really high. His laugh was cute and perfect. "Xfactor babe... No it will never happened." Niall took his hand up to my forehead and cuddled it, it makes me fell like that one less lonely girl. "I promise you I will support you in Xfactor. Please do it for me! I’ll give you cake after." Niall looks so superstitious at me some times and at this point he did too. “I’ll do it if you go too” Niall was actually serious at this point. My voice was not at all good enough for a future. “Niall you are crazy.” Niall laughed and winked at me. “I mean it.” I stood up and looked at him with big eyes. “Okay. I do it and you do it.” We gave each other a high-five. A high-five for being stupid, or I was being stupid.

So Niall got me convinced and it was so stupid actually. I loved to sing and I did it a lot but my voice was bad nothing to brag about at the singing point.

“Niall good luck. Can’t wait for this to happen” I gave Niall my biggest hug, and then we walked away from each other. I was going in first. The judges seemed calm but I was scared like a lot.

“Hey. You must be Lucy right?” Simon Cowells serious look gave me the creeps so I just looked over at Katy Perry who looked perfect, I want to look like her.
“What do you want to sing?” I smiled and took the microphone up to my mouth. “Yes I’m Lucy. 15 bad and good. I want to sing sad by Maroon 5.” I started singing and I felt like I was so dump. I should never have done this. I did it for Niall.


I got a no. So I didn’t go through and I think that was for the best, I had never thought about being a singer so it didn’t really change anything I just did it for Niall.

Next up it was Niall and I would lie if I said I wasn’t nervous for him, because I defiantly was! This could change his life. I wanted it to change his life.

The camera was pointed at Niall, the way he just look chill and happy calmed me down. “Hi Dublin.” His Irish accent was so cute. Katy Perry just thought he was sweet and I mean he is adorable, but his voice is perfect. I couldn’t stop laughing about Niall being likeable that kind of sweet!
He got 3 yes and Katy said no. Why is weird.

“BABE YES” Niall came jumping out of the stage. He came and gave me a big hug, it shuffled my whole body, and I loved him more than words. “Thanks you for pushing me in to this darling.” He kissed me in my hair, it felt perfect, and this was perfect.

After that day Niall really sang a lot all of the time. We used to be together a lot more than we did after x factor. It was probably just a faze that you go through. I was just more than happy for him because he really deserved it.

“Hey sweetie how is everything?” Niall gave me a hug. It was a long time since we were together so it was nice to hug him again, it was really nice to fell his warm body into my body.
“Everything is going great and you Niall?” Niall looked happy, happier than ever actually. But why shouldn’t he be happy his life was perfect!
“Perfect. I’m going to boot camp tomorrow” Niall was probably exited. “Promise that you call me right? And tell me if you are trough to the life shows okay?” Niall smiled and took his hand around me, he let it sit on my shoulder. “I promise.”

After that part I just lost it, it wasn’t the same like it used too. It felt like Niall wasn’t the boy I used to know.

This part is probably going to shock you and I know I was a stupid teenager but what could I do when I felt all alone? When I called my old friends up, they would talk to me because I forgot them because of Niall and me.
I started cutting when I felt like Niall dumped me. Have you ever felt that feeling? Please say you have, that felling when a good friend turns the back on you and walks forward without saying goodbye? I know Niall was right beside me still but I could fell it. I could already fell the pain.

My wrist had these small scars. Scars for life. Before I cut in myself I wash the blade or knife so I won’t get sick or anything like it. My thoughts is running away from me. Their running to fast so fast that I can’t get them back. Sometimes I thought about telling the truth to my parents or Niall my unreal brother.
All these fillings inside of me is ready to explode when I cut. When I cut I felt sad but in a way happy sad.
It’s hard to be alone in this world with a problem like that. It’s hard to fell like everyone don’t like you and it’s hard when you fell that your best friend is knocking you down.

*DING DING* “July here.” The whole day I choose to just lay in my bed and fell sorry for myself. I had a large oversize shirt on that kind of covered my body so no one could see my scars and fat body.

“It’s me Niall.” Niall sounded okay I guess, his voice was a little jumpy. “What’s up?” I took my hand up to my eye and looked at my wrist. “I’m going to the live shows.” Niall sounded so happy. “WOW Niall that is wonderful.” I tried to be happy, because I was happy but it felt like I were going to lose him in the end because of the factor. “But just one thing. I’m in a group.” Now his voice sounded jumpy and covered. I knew how shy he was so to all of the sudden be in a group with strangers. “Oh it’s going to work darling. What’s the group name then?” I laughed a little because I felt weird about this and I choose to get my frustration out with a laugh. “Don’t really know yet. Come and pick me up at the airport and meet the other boys. Then you can pick a name darling” that he said I could choose a name was pretty outstanding.

I meet them in the airport and I got to see 4 boys who was so different from Niall and each other. I liked them they had sweet humor and looked ready to fight for the first place in x factor.
I actually became really good friends with them all, I loved the way we watched horror movies at night and I screamed so loud that Zayn lost his ice-cream all over Liam. I really enjoyed it just until the live shows.

“So the name boy. Got one?” I looked serious at them all and waited for that one answer that changed everything. “We haven’t got one. We all are lost for fantasy. Especially Louis.” Harry hugged Harry. Oh gosh. I don’t know what’s up with them but they seem so in love. A lot of times I just wanted to ask them that one thing. If they were gay or something like it, but it would be rude. I looked around and tried to use my imagination. “What about. One change?” Niall smiled at me. “Sounds like the right direction.” “Hey Niall. Perfect. Right Direction.” Harry jumped around and smiled cheeky. His curly hair bounced when he jumped. “What about One Direction then? You only got One Direction to go to reach a dream right?” I smiled proudly at them all and they gave be a big hug. “It’s perfect Lucy.”

So I came up with that name. How many haven’t heard the story about Harry came up with it? I have and you know what I was so angry when I got to know it on a sight. I could believe it. First Niall forgets about me and then they lie. But that part will come later I promise.

“This show was so cool.” Niall jumped around with the other boys, I bet their first live show was amazing. Niall forgot me and didn’t even bother giving me a hug, but I didn’t really care then. I didn’t care about the other boys hugging me the most important thing for me was Niall, but I maybe wasn’t the important thing for him anymore.

I just choose to walk out the door and don’t look back at all, he could call me up when he had the time to be with be or to talk with me, because it didn’t seem like he had the time right now.

That day I came home an entered my room with a felling called find a sharp blade now so I did.
My parents weren’t home they were in America because Grandma Lily past away I didn’t really know her so I just stayed home. Also to support Niall.

I sat on the kitchen table and the blade touched my fat leg, it started bleeding really violent and I actually got really scared. I cried and thought about everything, I missed Niall.

 When I think about the memories we have together I cry, cry a lot. Also this day to day I sometimes cry, he is not even following me on Twitter, and I follow him right. It’s like he won’t even know me anymore.
I remember the pillow fight, I remember the cookie fight. Aw how I wished I knew him today but I don’t. He is far, far away from me and I can’t reach out for him anymore he is not the same Niall Horan that I knew.

I heard a knock on my door, I was alone home and I sat here on the kitchen floor with blood all over my leg and know it’s knocking on the door. FUCK and more FUCK. “JULY IT’S NIALL.” My heart stopped and before I could do anything the door was wide open and there he stood looking at me like I was some kind of monster. “JULY WHAT ARE YOU DOING.” My tears couldn’t do it any more so I just lad them fall out from my eyes and touch the cold and hard floor. “I’m sorry Niall.” I ran up to him and hugged him. I missed him and I needed him but maybe he just didn’t need me anymore.

“ARE YOU CUTTING?” He looked afraid at me and kind of disappointed I choose to be quiet and not saying anything.

After that day Niall really just took distance from me, when we finally was together It was not alone, it was with his new band witch probably was much better friends that me. I don’t blame them but Niall.

The boys and I were watching an interview on the internet they made right after their 3rd place in Xfactor, which I was really proud of. The interviewer asked how they got the name One Direction and I looked proud into the screen and waited a second for them to say that it was their good friend July but instead I got pissed. “It was actually Harry. His imagination is kind of brilliant.” Niall looked proud into the camera like he knew I was going to watch this, and to be honest I wanted to kill them all with a big bat, but I don’t like prison food. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I stood there and held my view on Niall who would even point his blue eyes at me and it really pissed me of.  “You know what July. If people knew about you we wouldn’t be that famous… I’m sorry but that’s the truth, and you’re living in it.”

 The words from Nialls mouth gave me the chills all over my pale body. “Niall what is wrong with you. You have been forgetting your best friend since your first stage appearance. Don’t you love me anymore?” My eyes were ready to bale on me and cry loudly but I held them in and instead try to get Niall to say something. The other boys just looked at me like I was stupid. “Can you please just leave?” I looked at the four boys and waited for them to leave but they just looked at me and seemed incurable. “Hey their part of me now, we are One Direction. July you were my best friend but this is never going to work okay. I’m sorry but this is a whole new life and I’m living it without you.” Niall and the other boys took their stuff and left, they didn’t even say goodbye.

My wrist, legs and parts of my body were broken. I was broken.  If you look at my wrist you can see these small and big scars who symbolize that part of my life I hate the most. I’m 18 now, and Niall are 19.
He is living the life in famous corners and I’m just me. July Scooper and not Scooter.

Niall James Horan changed my life from the better to the worst. I loved him a lot but he didn’t love me that much at that last point.

When I was 16 I tried to kill myself in the bathroom, I was living a life without Niall and it didn’t work. The worst part of it all was when you read stuff about One Direction online or in the magazines. Niall is happy. Happiness is important and when you look at him now I’ll hope you will think about me and about the hate and hard days he gave me. Think about that fame and money can change everything. It really changed him.

I miss Niall every day and I cry now and then when I think about us together.
Here to the last little piece I will write I want you too close everything inside you and thing about Niall as a really bad person…. He lied to me. He used me… He changed me… He left me crying in a cold room without love. He took everything from me, and that thing I will always remember.

Niall James Horan is a fame monster and an awful friend… 

 

 

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