So yea.

The story of a sophomore boy entering a public highschool named Nick who finds his way through social anxiety, relationships, and depression.


3. Chapter III

My mother found out about my dirty mouth, and was floored. And when my mom gets floored, she doesn't break down crying and act all pitiful. No, she goes absolutely nuts. She was so angry at me, I though she might actually kill me. And so, when she asked me what else I had screwed up, I wasn't about to lie to her. I told her everything, sobbing, about how I secretly kind-of-dated this girl and how I was cursing in emails to Kate. Not the best idea, really, because my life was ruined for about six months after that.

    She was pissed off. I mean, pissed off. She was so damned angry. I think that's when I started to grow away from my parents and realized that childhood was over. It was about to get real.

    I still stayed on the swim team, so at least I got to see Kate and Sam. They kind of kept me from being depressed. Kate and I wrote notes to each other a lot, and Sam and I still were able to hang out every now and then.

    It got bad between Sam and Kate that year, and they broke up a couple times. Kate kept going back to Sam no matter what. He slapped a nice “I'm so sorry” or “It's all me,” and Kate fell for him again. It was insanely frustrating, especially with my crazy analyzing brain running around in circles pointing out all the things that were wrong with this picture.

    Kate was having serious family issues during all of this as well. Her divorced parents were at odds with each other. She hated her dad so much. He was a jerk, even I'll say, and I didn't even know him that well. But he did always want Kate to date me so I guess it made him decent. Not really though.

    Sam was having his own problems. He had an ex who kept trying to keep in touch with him, and he couldn't get her off his back. Really bad, you know. I'd hate to have a girl trying to get together with me.

    That previous sentence was meant to be sarcastic.

    I was going through a rough time at home, too. Like I said before, I realized my innocent childhood had officially ended. It was over, it was done. Real life was here, and man it sucked. My mom was yelling at me every day, and my dad and I kind of just stopped talking. My dad's not really an involved guy, but he is a good guy.

    I was just done with everything. I didn't have a phone or a computer anymore, and so I spent my nights sitting in my room usually thinking about stuff. I really really though about stuff, like so much so that it became bad. Or so people tell me. I thought about everything. I thought about how much I just wanted to go up to Kate and kiss her, or how much I wanted to tell Sam that he needed to treat her better. But I was too scared to do either.

    So I just though about this crap. Every night. I kind of got depressed, but after swimming I guess it got better. But I was still kind of sad.

    Yea, I was starting to get sad all of the time.


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