Without You

Niall Horan and Zayn Malik are two Cancer patients who happen to meet during Chemo. They fall in love with each other. Zayn being his sweet self gives Niall everything he has ever dreamed of. Niall is keeping secrets though... Will the secrets come out? Will Zayn be mad?


16. Wake Me Up

-Zayn’s POV-


I watched Niall lay in the hospital bed, he was so pale. He had tubes coming out of his side and his neck, it was so hard to look at without crying. I sat with him all day and all night, crossing my fingers he would wake up soon. I know he will, he has to. If he doesn’t I don’t know what I would do without him. I leaned close to him and whispered sweet nothings into his ear, just hoping he could hear me wherever he is right now. I spent the night with him asleep, I was sleeping in a very hard and uncomfortable chair next to him. I woke up early in the morning to see Niall still hadn’t woken up, he still had to tubes in him and he still was scarily pale. I sighed and hoped he would show e some sign of waking up soon. One of the nice nurses who would come in and check on him told me one of the signs of him waking up is him starting to twitch or his eyes begin to flutter. Of course none of that happened to Niall in the last twenty four hours of me being here. I decided I shouldn’t starve myself so I went down to the cafeteria here at the hospital. I was walking slowly down the all too familiar white halls. I was starting to think I was a regular here at the French hospital. I was walking down the hall when I passed one of the many nurse’s stations, when one of the nurses called out to me.


“Monsieur” A high pitch voice called out to me. I stopped and turned around on my heels looking for the voice. I turned to find a fiery red headed girl who didn’t look all that much older than I am. She smiled and I just stood there like an idiot.


“Um, yea?” I say realizing she might not know English since she called me ‘Monsieur’. I bit my lip after I realize I probably look and sound like a complete idiot being in France not knowing French very well. I took some lessons before I got here, but I honestly don’t know all that much.


“Are you Mr. Malik?” She asked eyeing me up and down. That’s when I realized she was holding a folder close to her chest. Maybe she had some news about Niall’s condition.


“Yes, I am him. How may I help you?” I say trying to be polite and not sound too eager to know what news she had for me. She smiled softly and gestured for a small room next to us. I nodded and followed her into the small room. The room was very dull, they had random scenery pictures of places in Paris hung on the walls. There was a long table in the middle of the room and chairs were all around it. The nice woman took a seat on one of the chairs closest to her so I followed her and sat across from her. I bit my lip trying to relax.


“Hi, I’m Maddie. I am here to talk to you about Mr. Horan’s case. Dr. Higgins will be in shortly. I was told to bring you here, please wait while I find Dr. Higgins.” She said smiling, she had a thick French accent that forced me to really pay attention to what she was trying to say to me. I hate this language barrier crap. After she was done speaking she got up and walked out of the room quickly. I couldn’t stop the flood of thoughts from taking over in my brain. What could the information the doctor has about Niall be about? What is going to happen to my Niall? Is he going to be okay? All these questions and more were buzzing around my head like an angry swarm of bees until I heard a light knock on the door. The door opened lowly and in walked a tall built man who looked like he should be a body guard rather than a doctor. He smiled at me and sat down where Maddie once sat.


“Hello Mr. Malik” Dr. Higgins spoke, he surprisingly had a British accent like I do. I smiled and nodded my head, I know its rude not to greet people but I was worried I would start having word vomit. Word vomit is when you keep talking and can’t stop yourself from talking. I hate when that happens to me, it always happens when I’m nervous.


“Well we have some news that we need to discuss with you, it involves some very tough decisions on your part. Since we cannot get in contact with Mr. Horan’s family you are the one who has to make the choice as to what is to happen with the patient” Dr. Higgins spoke, I felt my throat close up. What does he mean by tough decisions? I don’t know if I am the right person to choose this for Niall. Maybe I should tell him we should wait until we get ahold of Maura.


“Okay” I squeak out trying to sound tough but failing drastically. I watch as Dr. Higgins face stays expressionless, he must be used to giving bad news and tough news. He seems to be a pro and hiding any emotions he may have for the patients he has. He clears his throat and opens a folder that he had in his hand. I hadn’t even noticed that the nurse has left it on the table.


“Alright, Well Mr. Horan was stabbed in the chest. The puncture hit his right lung. Because he is a lung cancer patient this is extremely dangerous for him. His lung has collapsed and we are trying our best to keep fluids from leaking into the lung.” He says sounding very serious. I felt my heart drop, my poor Niall must be in so much pain right now. I let out a sigh and nod my head to signal for Dr. Higgins to continue.


“Well, we don’t have what Mr. Horan needs to survive at this hospital. He needs to be transported to London and go to his primary hospital. The problem is he is very weak, and there is a huge risk he won’t make it there alive.” He says gravely. I feel a tear drip down my cheek. I hate that I cried, but what else am I supposed to do? I was just told that the love of my life needs to take a journey back to London, and he may or may not make it there alive.


“What do you need me to do?” I muster out as I wipe away the tears that came down. Dr. Higgins gave me a sad look and placed the folder down on the table.


“Zayn, I wouldn’t ask you to choose if I didn’t think it was completely necessary to do this. I do think that if he makes it he will survive. They have what he needs there, I need you to make the decision on if we can transport him or not.” He says folding his hands and looking at me with sadness but kindness. It looks like Dr. Higgins let down some of his walls and is showing some compassion.


“If he makes it he will survive right?” I say suddenly feeling as if the weight of the universe is resting on my shoulders. This is a huge decision for me to have to make, I still don’t know if I’m the right person to choose this for Niall. Maura should be the one to choose this, he is her son after all.


“There is always a chance he won’t, but with the state he was in before he got here, I would say yes. He is a fighter, and I believe he would fight until the very end.” Dr. Higgins says reassuringly. I sighed and bit my bottom lip. Should I allow Niall to take such a dangerous trip? If I don’t he will for sure die here in Paris, I don’t think I could live with myself if I just let him stay here and die. I have to help him in any way that I can. And if that means choosing for him to take a very risky flight back to London then So Be It. I took another deep breath and kept re thinking everything. I knew that a doctor wouldn’t tell me he had a chance unless he seriously deep down believed he had a chance, I have been dealing with doctors for a while now and they always tell me the truth no matter how bad it is.


“Okay, whens the flight?” I asked with a small but worried smile.


-A few hours later-


I sat in the cold hospital room listening to the machine connected to my loves lungs, they were connected to him to help him breathe. I could hear them pumping the oxygen into his lungs. I feel terrible for my poor little Niall, he looks so helpless just laying here in the hospital bed with all these tubes stuck to him. I leaned close to his ear and whispered sweet nothings into it. I know he probably can’t hear me, but I am still hoping. I asked him to wake up but he didn’t move or respond. I squeezed his hand tightly and sighed. He has to get up before he can be transported. Then I felt it. His hand twitched. At first I thought I was imagining it, but then I saw his eyes fluttering. I gasped and watched as two gorgeous blue eyes opened looking tired and confused.


“Niall baby, you’re awake!” I cheered. I was so happy to see he was awake, I could have jumped up and down with happiness. Niall moved and I saw a shock of pain run over his eyes.


“Niall, you have tubes stuck in your lungs and neck, you can’t move baby.” I say rubbing his hand lightly. I was about to hit the ‘call nurse’ button when Dr. Higgins walked into the room. He looked over at me first then at Niall. If I didn’t know better I would have thought Dr. Higgins jumped in shock to see Niall awake.


“He’s awake!” I cheered smiling a huge smile at Dr. Higgins. He rushed over and started looking over Niall. I stepped back to give him some room. I watched Niall’s face the entire time looking for any sign that he was in pain. He didn’t seem to be in any thank god.


“He looks really good Zayn” Dr. Higgins says once he is done with Niall. I smile and hug him. He tenses up at the hug but I feel him chuckle.


“He’s going to be okay. I’m going to take the tube out of his throat so he can talk alright?” He says prying my tight grip off of him. I nod and watch as he walks over to the blonde boy laying in the bed. I suddenly think about what he is going to be doing to him and turn away not wanting to see him yank tubes out of Niall’s neck. I hear a gag and a whimper and know I made the right decision to turn around.


“Okay, Niall can you say your name please?” Dr. Higgins asks, I turn around once I know he is done hurting my Niall. Niall now has a huge piece of gauze wrapped around his neck with a small piece of tape on it.


“Niall” says a very hoarse but still beautiful Irish accent. I don’t think I will ever get tired of hearing him speak, no matter how long I live. I feel tears brimming my eyes, I can’t cry it will scare Niall.


“Very good. Now do you know what day it is?” Dr. Higgins asks writing things down on his chart. He continues asking Niall questions that seem pointless to me, but I know he is checking to make sure he has his memory still. I silently thank god that Niall is alright. I love him too much to have lost him just yet.


“Alright, everything looks great. Zayn do you want to tell him or should i?” Dr. Higgins asks looking over to me for an answer. I gulp and think about if I should tell him.


“N-no you c-can” I stutter suddenly losing any courage and hope I had left in me. I didn’t want to be the bearer of bad news.


“Okay, Niall you need to be moved back to London to get any further treatment. We do not have what you need here, unfortunately the move is very dangerous for anyone in your condition. Zayn is your, shall I say. ‘Parent’ at the moment and is to make the decisions for you. You will be transferred immediately so be ready to leave in about 15 minutes.” He says patting Niall lightly on the leg and turning to me to give me a tight smile. I nod and he turns and walks out of the room. Well I guess I should help Niall understand what he just told him.

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