Without You

Niall Horan and Zayn Malik are two Cancer patients who happen to meet during Chemo. They fall in love with each other. Zayn being his sweet self gives Niall everything he has ever dreamed of. Niall is keeping secrets though... Will the secrets come out? Will Zayn be mad?


18. Tears

-Zayn’s POV-


We landed a few minutes ago in London, they wheeled Niall into the ER and they are working on him now. They told me he had a fractured rib and his lungs were building up with more fluid than before. The plane ride really didn’t go well for him. When we were about twenty minutes from landing Niall went into cardiac arrest. He was out for almost two minutes, one of the nurses told me he may have severe brain trauma because of the length of time he was out. They told me I had to wait in the waiting area while they worked on him, the entire time I was waiting I was up and walking around. What if Niall didn’t make it and I didn’t get to say goodbye? I don’t think I could live without him. I love him too much to put myself through that. I paced back and forth running my hand through my hair every so often, I bet my hair looks like crap now. I honestly could care less about my hair’s appearance, all that matters is that Niall is alright and I get to be with him for as long as he wants me. Now I keep thinking about how I had asked Niall to marry me a few days ago. I was stupid to just spring the question on him like that. I shouldn’t have said it, I should have planned something special. Proposing is supposed to be something special, not just a spur of the moment thing. I’m so stupid! I should know better than to do that. I was pulled out of my thoughts by a woman walking into the room and saying my name.


“Mr. Malik?” a tall woman with dark hair and Hazel eyes, that are quite beautiful actually, but nothing compared to Niall’s.


“Yes? How is he?” I say rushing over to her. She looks at me up and down then back at a clipboard she is holding. She flips through some papers and stops at one towards the middle.


“Hi, I’m Dr. Sarah Broughton. I am Niall’s doctor here, and I have some news I’d like to discuss with you.” She says. I tried to read her face to see if it would be bad news or good news, but I couldn’t tell. Her expression was blank, any sign of sorrow or happiness was nowhere to be found. I gulped and nodded for her to continue.


“Well, as you know Niall came in in a pretty bad state. We have him stable at the moment, we fixed his lungs and ribs, but I’m sorry to inform you but Niall doesn’t have much longer. He, as you know has lung cancer, and he hasn’t been getting his treatments. He has missed three appointments now and because of it his body is rejecting the radiation and it is starting to kill him. It’s killing him very quickly. He doesn’t have much longer.” She says. Her voice never falters, she is very good at hiding her emotions, and she has to be though right? It’s part of her job. I feel myself starting to break down, tears are brimming at the edges of my eyes, I try to force them back. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to seem weak. I nod and try to form words without my voice cracking.


“H-how l-long?” I fail at keeping my voice even. My vision is becoming blurry with my tears, I can’t hold them in any longer. They come pouring down my face like waterfalls, hot tears are staining my face. I feel a hand on my shoulder, it’s the doctor. She is trying to comfort me, but all I want is Niall. The only thing that could comfort me at this moment is to have Niall with me.


“I’d say no longer than a week. I’m very sorry Mr. Malik. You can go visit him, he is awake.” She says patting my shoulder lightly. I just nod knowing doctors always tell you a longer time rather than saying he could die tonight. I let her lead me to his room. When we get to it she gives me a tight smile and leaves me alone. I stand in front of the door just looking at it, deciding if I should go in or not. I don’t want to remember Niall like this, as he looks on his death bed. I want to remember the sweet fun loving Irish boy I so deeply fell in love with no more than two months ago. I remember when we first met, I remember our first date and how nervous he looked when he picked me up. I love when he gets nervous, it is so cute to watch his stumble over his words and bite his lip. I remember our first time together, it was magical, not only because it was on the Eiffel Tower but because it was with him. Niall Horan. I could feel myself breaking down again. I took a deep breath and slowly opened the door to his room. I peeked into the dark room to see a very small and pale looking boy lying in bed watching the football game, typical Niall. He turned and smiled a very weak looking smile at me, he was so pale. He looked extremely thin too. I walked over closer to him and he reached out for me, his thin boney hand latching onto mine.


“Hey” He said in a hoarse voice. I nearly died right here and now from how peaceful and calm he seemed. Maybe the doctors haven’t told him yet? They have to tell the patient first though right? I locked my fingers with his and sat down on the edge of the bed watching Niall carefully. I know I shouldn’t but I tried to remember every inch of him, the way his nose looked, his eyes, the shape of his mouth. Niall was watching me as I took in all his features.


“What are you doing?” He asks his voice sounding like he smokes six packs of cigarettes a day. I looked into his eyes and leaned down to kiss him. Little did I know, this would be the last time I got to do this.


“I’m memorizing every last inch of you baby” I say, my voice cracking at the end. Niall looked at me with a puzzled look. He must have gave up and just nodded and looked back to the TV. His hand felt so weak in mine, I gripped it tightly fighting back the tears. I didn’t want him to see how much it hurt me to see him like this.


“I love you Niall Horan. Forever” I say kissing the top of his hand lightly he turns to me and smiles.


“I love you two Zayn” He coughs out. He starts to have a rough coughing fit. He stops coughing after a few minutes and turns back to me. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but then his eyes glaze over. His hand goes limp in mine and his heart monitor flat lines.


“No! No! No! Niall baby wake up! Please baby! Please Niall I need you to wake up for me baby! I love you I need you!” I scream, my screaming caused a nurse to come running in and she sees Niall and pulls me away.


“Sir, he’s gone. There is nothing we can do.” She says pulling me back to keep me from Niall. I sob and drop to the ground pulling my hair.


“No! He can’t be gone! I need him!” I shout. I curl up into a ball and cry.


-Louis POV-


“Louis? What was that?” Liam finally spoke after the long and very awkward silence we shared after our first kiss. I bit my lip and looked down into the sheets on the bed.


“I… um… we… sort of… well… kissed” I stutter out. Liam nods and chews on his lip running his hand through his hair. I look up to see him looking back into my eyes, he has something in them I have never seen before, lust.


“Can we do that again?” He asks hesitantly. I am shocked, did he even really ask that or was my mind playing tricks on me? I just nodded scared to say anything. Liam leaned in and pressed his lips onto mine. It was a perfect kiss, I felt the sparks I had the first time. I wrapped my arms around Liam’s neck and pushed harder deepening the kiss. He bit my bottom lip causing me to let out a throaty moan. Liam chuckles and slides his tongue into my mouth. His tongue explores every inch of my mouth. We pull away after a few minutes due to lack of oxygen. I look deep into his eyes breathing heavily.


“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that Lou” Liam says blushing lightly. He likes me? He’s liked me for a long time? Why have I never noticed this? Why am I just realizing all of this? God I’m such a dunce!


“You… You have?” Liam laughs and pecks my lips for a third time causing my mind to twirl. I’ve never had this feeling before, the feelings I get from just a simple kiss or touch. I feel my mind turn to mush each time he kisses me, each time he touches me.


“Yes, for a long time actually. I just always thought you didn’t like me back” He says turning away looking ashamed. I grab his chin and turn him to look straight into my eyes.


“Don’t be ashamed of your feelings, you should have told me sooner. I like you too” I say smiling. Liam’s face lights up and he smiles a huge smile.


“Then will you go out with me?” He asks giving me the puppy dog eyes he is oh so good at doing. I roll my eyes and kiss him again.


“Yes I will, I would love to go out with you Liam” I say laying back on the bed to look up at the ceiling, a big smile spread across my face. I feel the bed start to vibrate and I realize it’s my phone ringing. I dig around in the sheets for it and pull it out. It’s Zayn.


“Hello…” I say


“Louis! Come home! I need you! N-Niall… He…” He couldn’t finish he started crying to hard. I tried to sooth him so he could tell me what happened, but deep inside I knew what had happened. I talked to Zayn for a few more minutes and told him Liam and I would get the first plane back to London. We hung up and I got to packing. Liam trying to help but I told him to stay in bed and rest. He didn’t like the idea but didn’t argue with me.

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