Without You

Niall Horan and Zayn Malik are two Cancer patients who happen to meet during Chemo. They fall in love with each other. Zayn being his sweet self gives Niall everything he has ever dreamed of. Niall is keeping secrets though... Will the secrets come out? Will Zayn be mad?


20. Epilogue

[A/N so GUESS WHAT!? there's a sequel! hopefully it will be up a little later. If you want it up comment a lot and that will motivate me to get it up promise :) ]

-Zayn’s POV-


“You ready to go mate?” Louis solemn voice echoes around the small room I am sitting in. I have taken the liberty of locking myself in my house for the past week and a half. I just don’t want to go out anymore, I see no point. Everything around me reminds me of him. I can’t even say or think his name without bursting into tears. I hate how weak this is making me.  I sigh and give a slow nod to Louis. I know I have to go, if I don’t I couldn’t live with myself. I pulled on my blazer and finished tying my tie. I walk to the door and open it slowly. I squint at the blinding light from the sun and walk over to Louis car. Liam is sitting in the back seat wearing a black blazer like I am. I try to give him a weak smile, but it just doesn’t show. I drop my head and make my way into the car. Louis walks up behind me and slides into the driver seat. He places a hand on my shoulder and I look up to see a tight smile on his lips.

“I am proud of you Zayn. Niall would be proud of you too” He said. Shit, he said the name. I felt the tears forming, I couldn’t stop them from falling. They came falling down like a waterfall, I turned away from Louis not wanting him to see me cry anymore. He has been with me and helping me up until I locked myself in my house. He ended up planning the whole funeral without me. I just couldn’t do it, I didn’t want to think about Niall being put in a box and laid in the ground forever. I couldn’t plan it. Louis started the car and we drove to the cemetery. I tried to keep from crying when we walked up to the small green tent with four rows of seats. I sniffled and walked to the front row and took a seat. Louis and Liam sat next to me. A few minutes later I saw Niall’s mom Maura walk up. I have never met her, but Louis speaks fondly of her so she must be a nice woman.

“Hello Louis” Maura says coming over to say hi to all of us. Louis smiles and stands up to hug her.

“Hi Maura. How are you holding up love?” He asks sweetly. I look more closely at the woman and I can instantly tell she has been crying. Her eyes are puffy and blood shot and you can see some traces of where her make-up had, at one point, been smeared.

“As well as I can Lou, how about you and Liam?” She asks. Louis just shrugs and pulls her over to me. She looks at me with a confused look, she must wonder why, in her mind, a complete stranger is here at her son’s funeral.

“Maura, this is Zayn. Zayn was Niall’s boyfriend.” Louis says introducing me to Maura. I muster up the best smile I can and shake her hand. She pulls me into a hug, I am shocked at the hug and it takes me a couple of seconds to realize what just happened. I hug her back and she whispers in my ear.

“Thank you for loving him” I can feel the tears once again. I hugs her tightly, it feels as if I have known her my whole life. Her hugs remind me a lot of Niall’s. He always gave the best hugs, he would call them ‘Horan hugs’ I guess he wasn’t kidding about them running in the family.

“It’s my pleasure” I whisper back choking back the tears. She pulls back and she is crying. I was going to continue talking to herm but the minister came. He went into his speech about how Niall had lived a productive life. I tuned him out just thinking about Niall, I watched the casket that was behind the man. It had tons of flowers laid across it, and a small picture of Niall on top of the mess of flowers. Maura had ended up sitting beside me, she reached over and grabbed my hand pulling me out of my trance once again. She leaned over and whispered in my ear.

“Are you going to be doing a speech?” She asks close to my ear, I bite my lip and nod. I have spent the last couple of days writing, then rewriting my speech. I never seemed to get it right, no matter how I wrote it. It always sounded too sad, or too happy for a funeral. I threw away each of the bad ones and had a stack of crumpled paper taller than I am leaning against my trash bin. She smiled at me and looked back to the minister.

“Now we have a few of Niall’s close friends who would like to make a small speech. Louis Tomlinson please come to the stand.” He says looking around for Louis. Louis stood up and straightened his tie then went to the front. He looked really nervous up there. He cleared his throat and pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket.

“Niall was a good friend, we had are moments, but we always made it through. He was the first man I fell in love with. He was my friend when I needed him I wouldn’t change anything about our friendship. I love him dearly and he will be missed. I know he is in a better place, Niall will live on forever in our hearts. I know he is up there in heaven looking down at us with a big plate of Nandos. I remember all the times he dragged me there, he would always order half the menu. Not long after we started going there, the waitresses would already have our orders before we even stepped foot in the building. He always had a smile on his face, I will miss the lad with all my heart. He lived a good life. You will be missed Nialler” Louis finished, I saw a tear drop down his cheek. He wiped it quickly and walked back to his seat. The minister walked back up to the front and looked at a paper.

“Zayn?” He asked I stood up and took a breath. I had to stay strong, I couldn’t break down in tears right now. I slowly walked up and turned around pulling out the speech I had in my pocket. I looked at it and took another deep breath.

“Niall Horan. A friend, a son, a lover, and the perfect little angel he was. He showed me things I never thought I would see. He showed me I could love someone unconditionally and not be afraid. He caused me to feel things I have never felt before, I love him. I will always love him. He will be missed, I know he is in a better place. I just hope he doesn’t miss everyone down here. Thank you Niall, for showing me how to love, for showing me Paris and friendship. I have to thank him for everything he has done for me, because without him, I would have never done or felt those things. I miss you Niall.” I finish my speech and sit down. The minister stands back up and closes the ceremony. Liam, Louis, Maura, and I get up and walk over to the casket. We throw a flower into the ground and watch as Niall is lowered into the earth. I cry when I see him being lowered, I have always hated this part of funerals. When I could finally leave I was relieved. I felt someone running up behind me. I turned and saw a familiar bounce of curls.

“Harry?” I say in shock

[A/N so comment for the sequel to be up soon! an yea don't hate me for the cliff hanger hehe ]

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