How to Love (short story) finished

17 years and Alex still cant love. Ever since her dad left her when she was five, her life has gone down in a spiral. Her mom was depressed and was always drunk then married Todd a ex-criminal. Her mom died when Alex was 12 from cancer and her step-dad did horrible things to her. So when she breaks after 5 years of abuse what will happen when she goes to a new school and the most popular boy in her school Connor notices her and ask question? What happens when he sees the two large scars on her neck? What happens when she starts loving again? Will it be a crash and burn? Or will she learn How to Love? What happens when she finds something out that breaks here? Will she live through it? Or make the ultimate decision of her life?

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6. Breaking

Alex's P.O.V.

I run up in my house to the bathroom. I break down in there crying. How could they? They both said they loved me but they do this! I fucking hate people! I never loved anyone besides them but they do this?? I scream out loud. I look at the razor. I promised myself I'd never do it again, but I need to feel something. I feel angry, and empty at the same time. I walk over to where it is. I grab the razor and stare at it for a few seconds then I make my decision. I put the blade on my skin and make a few long, deep cuts. Better. I keep cutting. I count each one. I made a total of 31. All different size. All on my arms and thighs. I lay down on the bathroom tiles and find sleep.

I wake up sore, and covered in a pool of something. Fuck. It's blood. Todd can't see it. I clean it up and jump in the shower trying not to think of Connor. When I get out I dress in a black long sleeved jacket, a red tee under, a pair of medium jeans, and red converse. No more short-sleeves for a while. It's the first day of school. Just GREAT. I put on my regular makeup, with extra foundation to cover up my face that's still red from crying. I walk outside and see its raining. I walk to school. I don't care that I'm wet I just walk right to class. People stare at me sadly. They probably heard what happened.  

Since me and Connor started dating I became more popular. I don't care about it though. I walk in the class room and go to the back. Chloe walks in hand-in-hand with Connor. Fuck. I forgot we have the same classes. The class takes forever and I run out when the bell rings. I go in the library instead of the lunch room. I won't eat. He left me for a skinnier, prettier girl. I can't eat. I'll just puke it up when I do. The walls inside me are tumbling in.  

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