Where did I go wrong?

this is about how the song 'How to save a life' ( The Fray ) has a meaning to me, its not go the happiest reasons but its a song that's really special to me

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5. a catch up

well recently my thoughts  are getting worse and worse,  I was walking home from school last week.  I was walking alone.  Now to get home I need to walk over a long bridge that goes over a motorway (or a free-way) and as I was nearing the bridge, I was thinking.  " I could just jump off this bridge and kill myself, easy as that, my life, over. It's so easy just fling yourself over Amanda, no one cares anyway".  I didn't, the only reason I didn't, because there were people there and everything I see I think " how can I hurt myself with this" I can't deal with it. I don't know what to do any more.  I told my Dad I want to go to the doctor but he hasn't booked an appointment, I kept reminding him, but I stopped on Saturday.  Doesn't he care enough to try help his youngest daughter out?, is it something most people would forget ' Oh my daughters depressed an having suicidal thoughts' I just think its something I would keep in mind.  The Summer holiday's are near and I just think that it will get harder for me to deal with everything because I don't have to go to school and have to put on a brave face a fake smile.  There is one good thing though, my Mum Dad and big Sister will leave in the morning for work.  So I can be myself, that's what i want really.  To be on my own, just watch the world go by, but I can't, I know it's not good for me to do that anyway, but I can't because my friends care about me, they will make me come out and I guess I should thank them for that.  I've learn't something, my Mum doesn't like me, but I don't like her.  Every chance I get I will not be with her, I know this is a bad thing but.  Life is life.

This is my last chapter, it was good to get this out and good to get some support from you guys. I love you my little Oreo's and if you ever feel like this just comment on this and we can find out a way to talk. I will end this with a quote from my brain; 

      "music is the key to your emotions, put in the key and let your emotions out"

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