I lost him, when I never thought I could get him.

This is was inspired by The Fray- How To Save A Life.


2. Learning the Truth

   I had tried calling his cell phone at least 15 times last night, he never answered. I even called his home phone, no one answered. Normally his mom would answer the phone no matter who it was, but the next day in homeroom I found out why no one was answering.

  "Attention students, it is in my deepest sorrow that I inform you that one of our students Darrel Haynes took his life last night. His parents discovered him in my bedroom late last night. There will be a closed casket funeral on Friday at the Kenferd Funeral Home. We will dismiss school for the funeral. Our thoughts and prays will be with his family and friends." That was what was said over the loudspeaker. Those few sentences announcing his suicide. And it was all my fault. I could have saved him, I could have done something. 

   I was so caught up in my world, that I hadn't stopped to think about him, what could happen to him when I told the school that he was gay. I certainly never would have thought he would take his life. 

  I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes, I silently raised my hand and my teacher excused me. I raced out of the classroom and to the nearest girl's bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and quickly dialed his number, hoping he would answer and laugh it off saying it was just a joke. 

   'Hi, it's Darrel. Sorry I can't get to you right now, I'm probably busy or avoiding you! Leave a message!'  His bright, cheery voice rang through my tiny phone. His voice echoed through the bathroom, bouncing off the walls. The tears started rolling down my cheeks, soaking my face. I didn't even bother to try and stop them, soon the bell rang and I didn't move from my position in the stall.




    Later that night his mother called me, told me that he left a note. He explained to his parents what happened, and why he did what he did. He told them to tell me not to blame myself, that he had been thinking of this for a long time. That what I did only showed him that no one in this world was there for him. But how does that help me? 

   His parents asked me if I wanted to say a speech at his funeral. I told them that I couldn't make it, I couldn't bare to have my one and only friend's dead body in the same room as me. They said they understood, and hung up.

   Now I'm sitting on his grave, a big tomb stone that read R.I.P Darrel James Haynes You will be missed by many. 8/17/1998 - 3/16/2013 Son of Marisa Haynes and Ken Haynes. Every time I visited his grave I cried. I never seemed to run out of tears for him. And I never will, he will always be the one I could never save, if only I could have saved him. Helped him see that people loved him...

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