I lost him, when I never thought I could get him.

This is was inspired by The Fray- How To Save A Life.

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1. I lost you


  “You've changed Ally, and it’s not for the better.” As those words let his mouth, I felt my heart shatter, exploding into tiny pieces and the cut through my tender skin. 
   “Darrel, I- please.” I pleaded. I had only done what I thought was best for the both of us.  He was my one and only best friend, we had known each other since we were 7, but right now that didn't seem to matter. All that mattered was the current situation. 
  “No, ever since you started hanging out with Holly you started acting like a know-it-all, as if you're too good to be my friend. We were so close Ally, but now we are galaxies apart. I don't think you can do anything to fix it.” I stared blankly back at him, I fought to keep my tears at bay. What he said was true, I had acted bitter towards him for the past few months, and then I never felt any guilt. 
   “I realize that, but please you have to understand that I never meant to hurt you. You're my best friend; you are the only person in this world that truly knows me. I can't have you walk out of my life like this. I know I did wrong, I admit to that, but can you please just give me another chance?” My teeth ached, they felt gritty. I watched Darrel tense; I know he wouldn’t consider my offer. 
   He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it slowly. He seemed as if he was thinking. “You can't possibly expect me to just forgive you! You embarrassed me in front of the whole school! I don't care if you were only trying to get on Holly’s good side. I thought what we had meant more to you, but I guess I was wrong.” He turned to leave the empty hallway, and head back into the school gym, but I grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. 
   “No! Don’t walk away from me, please! Our friendship means too much to me for something like this to screw it up. I know what I did is unforgivable, but please can you try to see my side? Holly was going to tell the whole school either way! I tried to stop her, I really did. But she told me that if I didn’t help her she would tell my mom about the party. You know how much trouble I would get into for that! I would be grounded for ages and I wouldn’t get to see you, that’s all I was thinking about when I made my decision, I didn’t stop to really think how it would affect you more when I helped her. You have to believe me, please!”
  “You told the whole school my secret! When I told you it, you promised you wouldn’t tell a soul until I was ready. Buy you went and told Holly of all people! You knew exactly what Holly would do with that information! Why would you even tell her! It didn’t concern you!”
  I gawked at him, he really just said that. That it didn’t concern me. “How does it not concern me? We’ve been friends since childhood and I had no clue! I used to like you! When you told me do you know who I felt? I was crushed, to know that you would never like me the same. I did everything to try and impress you, and when I found out it was as if I had been living a lie!”
  “I didn't know, I’m sorry but that still doesn't change that fact that you just told the whole school! My family didn't even know yet! What will they say when they find out?”
  “They can deal with it like I did! They can learn to accept you for who you really are! It’s not like you chose this, and what is so bad about everyone knowing?”
  He slid down the wall and sat on the floor, his eyes were bloodshot and I knew he was about to cry. I bite my lip; I hated to see him cry. And knowing that I'm the one who cause it makes me want to cry as well.
  “What’s so bad?” He laughs, but his voice is trembling. A single tear falls down his cheek, and I can no longer hold mine back. “Everyone is going to look at me weird now. I’m going to be some outcast freak.  Do you think I want that? For every guy to look at me, and laugh?”
   “Darrel, you are still the same person! And if people treat you differently now that they know, they were never your real friends.”
  “Yeah? What if they were the one who told everyone without my permission? Would they still be my friend?” He questioned me.
  I bent down to his level and looked him in the eye. “Yes, because that person cares for you, they never meant to hurt you. They thought that it would be better to have some who cares and supports you tell people rather than just some mean girl who doesn't know you.”
  "I'm sorry, but I will never forgive you." He got up and walked away. I watched him push open the school doors, and disappear. I can't believe he just left me, I thought we could work it out, that we could be friends again. I guess I was wrong.

 

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