Jacob's diary

How can I go on with my world when my boy is no longer here? I wake up everyday and the first thing I do is feel like I can't face the day ahead without my son. I had to keep him alive and the only way I could do that was to make sure he lived his life through my diary. What did he do when he grew up? who did he fall in love with? I was going to give him the life that was taken so he would still be with me.




Darren walked into the living room with a smile on his face. We all looked up at him. He looked like a naughty school boy, who had just done something wrong that he was very proud of. I asked him what the smile was all about and he moved his arms from behind his back and he was holding out a holiday brochure. I looked at it and then back to his face, still smiling.

"What's that?"

"Well I was thinking after everything that Sara has been through that we could all use a little time to relax. I think a holiday is in order!"

"Alright!" said Jacob jumping up.

"Where are we going?" asked Sara.

"Well I thought we should go anywhere the sun shines."

"Can we afford this?" I asked. I didn't want to spoil the mood, ever the mother I had to be realistic.

"Yes!" Darren said. "I think we can and work said that everything is ok."

"Well you had best look through the book and see where you like." Darren handed the brochure to  Sara.

"Me?" Sara was confused as she took it. "Why me?"

"You need this more than any of us so you should decide."

"That's right." Jacob and Sara disappeared back into the living room.

As Jacob and Sara flicked through pages Darren and I went into the kitchen and I started to make a fresh round of tea. Darren was sitting at his laptop, I had told him so many times not to bring it to the table but he always did. I smiled to myself thinking of how big this mans heart was. He would work extra hours to pay for this holiday. I knew inside that he wanted this for all of us and it would be good for Jacob to see some more of the world. It would inspire him and give him another outlook that he could bring to his art, at least that is what I hoped it would do. I placed the tea down next to Darren and touch his arm and all I said was a simple "Thank you" He placed his other hand on mine  and just smiled back, that was all I needed. This man was the one who supplied the light in my heart and I felt so lucky that he came into my life.

Jacob and Sara were dressed to go out when they came into the kitchen. I took one look and smiled. I was just about to ask where they were heading out to when Jacob told me that they were heading into town to look for some more brochures. It seemed one was simply not enough! I told them to make sure that they were back in time for tea and Darren looked up at and smiled his child like smile again. "We are going out for tea!"

"Are we?" I asked.

"Yes, We are going to Frankie Joe's!"

"Awesome!" said Jacob. "They do the best steak that you could wish to eat." He told Sara.

"Cool." She said and they left.

I sat down and couldn't help but smile. What had got into Darren today? I had never seen him so happy. I had to admit a night without having to clean away did sound like absolute bliss. So many days I had wished that I had some kind of magic where I could click my fingers and make the whole house clean and new, just like a show room. For now though I would have to carry just like every other mother and pick up after those I loved but got frustrated with so much!



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