Before I Die

After losing both of her parents and walking straight into a life of bullying, Allison one day collapses on the sidewalk in the cold winter snow.
When she wakes up at the hospital, she wakes up to a smiling face. But what she didn't know was that the unknown boy was the famous Justin Bieber.
She'd promised herself to never trust anyone but Samantha (her best friend) but will Justin change everything? And what happens when she finds out the truth and gets dragged straight into the spotlight?


23. A Second Scar

Justin’s POV

“What’s that?”

She looked up, noticed where my eyes were focused and her face started to turn concerned while she started to stutter.

“Uh… Ehm… It’s… It’s the scar from the hospital, we were just t-talking about i-it you know.” She pulled down her sleeve. “So where are we heading first?” A forced smile came up on her face as I started to walk towards her.

“Don’t try to change the subject” I pulled up her sleeve again, but she wouldn’t let me. “I remember that what you did a couple of days ago was on the other arm.” My eyes were searching for hers, but they just looked empty.

Allison sighed and looked away, facial expression turning to shame.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?”

This time, she pulled up both of her sleeves – one arm with the fresh cut, with stiches on it and the other was definitely older.

“I… You know what I’ve gone through. It was never easy to deal with it and I read online that self-harm helps. So I just tried it, but it didn’t help me. So all I really got was one more scar and people started to comment it and call me suicidal and more stuff.

Now, the other night, I was reading some pages because I just couldn’t sleep and I read all these things about you and me – a paparazzi had somehow been able to catch the scar on tape. So I thought that if I could match the cut on the other arm it would look like a birth-mark or something like it. Unfortunately I cut a little too deep and it started to bleed more and I accidentally hit some important nerves.”

Once again I was speechless – what is this world doing to her? I don’t want to see her hurt, but to break a heart just to match a cut?

“So you did this… This…” I couldn’t even speak properly. “Just to match a cut?” Now she could obviously see the hurt in my eyes and her look turned so much softer. She must be feeling so much remorse.

“Well, I was really down after everything that happened so it wasn’t all to just match it. Part of it was still what people are saying, but yeah – that was some of the reason as well.”

I couldn’t believe it. Right now I couldn’t even look at her; I had to turn away just for a little while. My feelings were fighting so badly. A part of me knew and understood the reason, but the other part just couldn’t believe that. Why would she hurt herself just to prove something?

“Justin, please don’t turn your back at me” The tears in her voice. “I still did this, mostly because I didn’t want them to think that you’re beating me up, abusing me or anything.” The tears. You could hear them clearly now.

“It doesn’t matter what the media say or think” I was finally able to speak. “All that matters is that we know the truth, my team knows the truth – my beliebers knows the truth. And the truth is that I love you, and I never want to see you hurt. You dragged me through a lot of emotions.” I was facing her now, the beautiful face I fell in love with which belonged to the beautiful girl with the amazing personality. And I sounded so angry, but still so broken.

“I’m sorry Justin… I just- I just didn’t want them to think anything else. I-I don’t really know h-how the media wo-works when it comes to… to celebrities.” Allison was sobbing out the words and I had no heart to be angry, or upset anymore. I was the reason the tears once again streamed down her face right before a tour. She didn’t deserve it – she’s too good. So I just shut my mouth and held her close. So close I could hear and feel her heartbeats while letting her cry to my chest. I gently planted a kiss on her head and stoke her back which was moving because of the sobbing that I’d caused.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to her ear and looked down at her face; her mascara had reached her cheeks now, so I wiped it away with my thumbs. “I’m so, so sorry. I love you so much.” Once again I hugged her tight and had that lovely feeling that I get, every single time our bodies meet. 



Hi again!

Lovely to write to you, I’m feeling so much better already and I’m inspired to write again.

Well, first I want to thank you guys for 260+ views, 50+ favorites and 30+ likes. I never really thought it would get so much, so it’s amazing that it reached such high numbers – and still growing. I really have the best readers ever.

I also want to thank you for your support, it has been some hard months, but the nightmares are going away so I’m glad.

Also, I have some sad news tho: I’ll be gone for about 12-13days and I can’t write. But please don’t stop reading, because I’ll write as soon as possible – once I get home, no matter how late or early it is (: Everything for you.

Goodnight <3

X Koshuki

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