Joe's Story

The growing pains of a teenage boy


34. Joe and Sam sc


 Chapter 34 Joe and Sam

   By the time I had returned from abroad it had been agreed that there would be no wedding and, like my mum, Gill, and her now partner, Rob, we would cohabit as most modern couples do today.

   Thankfully, one of grandma’s old rented properties had become vacant.  While viewing the place, Sam pulled me into the back bedroom and laughing pointing to the dividing wall. “Holly shit,” I said when I recognised the stained patterned wallpaper. We were in Mrs Smith’s old house where Sam and I would come to have sex. The wallpaper showed the marks where the headboard used to bang against it. In my imagination I could still hear the noise of bed springs protesting as we bounced up and down.                        


   I hate my mum. Instead of getting Mick, the builder to decorate the house, she has suggested that I do it all myself, especially as I still have a few weeks left before going to university. “Bugger it,” I swore, almost in tears with frustration. Brian, Alan’s boyfriend has just made my day. I’ve fucked up the last strip of wallpaper. I’d only put it up with the pattern upside down. Not only that, he then tells me that vinyl paper should be butt-jointed and not overlapped. So all my work of the past few days now needs to come down. Alan gave me a consoling hug and looked at Brian who, in turn said, “Okay,” and started to strip the paper from the walls leaving the backing paper behind. To my surprise it took only a few minutes to strip the place, after which Brian measured up and taking the details of the wallpaper reference number together with a sample, we then visit the shops to buy replacement rolls.


   It’s not fair Mum’s being a right bitch apparently getting her own back at me for not wanting to get married. She now only wants me to pay rent for living in the house. Alan and Brian come to my rescue; they are willing to share the household expenses. Thankfully Brian has a job, as an engineering apprentice which includes in his pay an allowance for living away from home. Alan wanting to share with Brian has changed his university to one based in London, studying art and design.




   Everyone is running late. Poor Sam has morning sickness and is hogging the upstairs bathroom. Thankfully there is a downstairs cloakroom, but with three of us wanting to use it, I found it best to wash in the kitchen sink, then I would rush over to the station and use the toilet there before boarding the train.                     


   Nag, nag, nag, Sam’s telling me off again. Living with Sam is not easy

 It’s been several months now and Sam is getting fat and cranky. She’s always complaining about something or other. This morning it’s her back again. Thankfully, during the day. I’m able to escape her nagging because I have university lectures to go to. Later we quarrel some more about how late I was returning home and that I didn’t answer my phone while in the library researching. At night I’m fucking frustrated. I can hear both Brian and Alan in the next bedroom at it like two rabbits. Sam in her condition is in no mood for any form of sexual activity. Unfortunately, Sam’s developed a craving for pickled onions which make her breath smell, so there’s no kissing. Worse still the onions are making her fart a lot. Leaving me only one option to lock myself in the bathroom with Mrs palm and her five children to satisfy my needs, and so relieve the tension of the day.  ​


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