Why me?

She lost the love of her life, but gained a child. Join her on her roller coaster of a life.

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13. Twelve

“What do you think of this dress?” Linda held up deep purple dress. It was beautiful.

“I love it!” I exclaimed.

“Great, you girls will be wearing this dress.”

I nodded. My dad and Lind’s wedding is in a couple weeks. I was surprised that Linda wanted me to be the maid of honor. I would be content with being a bridesmaid, but I am really happy being the maid of honor. Linda already picked her dress. It was white, with red at the top and red lace trail. She went up to tell the lady that we chose the dress. I sat down by the window. I was staring out in space, when I notice someone familiar. I looked at her for a while. Then it dawned on me. It was my mother. She was coming into the dress shop. I ran and hid behind some dress. I watched her walk over to Linda. “Can we talk?” my mother asked.

“Sure,” Linda said, confused, “about what?”

“My daughter.” They walked over to one of those super soft couches to sit. They sat in an awkward silence for about a minute, until Linda said something, “what do you want to talk about-”

“I know you are very close to her, and I want to know if you can help me,” my mother cut her off.

Linda hesitated. “Help you with what?”

“I want to show my daughter that I am really sorry that I left her and her dad a long time ago. I want to make it up for her. I really did miss her when I was gone. I want to treat her the way she should have been treated when I was gone. I really love her even if she hates me I want to show her that I was wrong for leaving her behind for all those years. I want her forgiveness.” She stuttered in a rush.

Linda hesitated again, and I saw her give my mother a steady glare. “Can you answer me one question? Why did you leave?”

“I can’t really explain it bit regardless, I feel horrible for leaving her. It would take a while to explain it.”

“I will listen.”

They talked like they were friends. I don’t hate my mother, but then I again, I just don’t know. It’s like if I trust her, she is just going to disappear again. Why would she leave with no explanation? I always thought I was the reason she left. Before me, my parents were happy. Then I came along and ruined their lives. My dad told me that it was not my fault that mother left. It was her fault to leave behind the most amazing daughter in the world. Even after that, I still felt it was somehow my fault that she left.

“The week before I left, I didn’t feel like I used to when I was with Kellin, I didn’t feel the butterflies when we touch, or the spark when we kiss; I felt nothing. I didn’t love him the way I used to. I fell out of love with him. When I realized that. I wanted Kellin to find someone that will love him unconditionally, someone that deserves his love. I packed all my things. Found a house in Nebraska, got divorce papers and left a note saying I was sorry. A year later, I found someone new. His name is Damien, and I love him with all my heart. I wanted to make up for being a horrible mother to her. I wanted to send something for her millions of times but I thought she would just hate me for leaving her behind,” unbelievably my mother cried.

Linda pulled her into a hug, letting her cry on her shoulder. I walked out from behind the dress and looked at my mother with shock. I couldn’t believe this. Dad was right. It wasn’t my fault. My mother was truly sorry. She came to her ex-husbands soon to be wife and asked her for help to get her own daughters forgiveness. My mother wasn’t cold-hearted at all. My mother finally looked up. She had tears running down her face. She saw me, she was about to speak when I stopped her, “Mother, I don’t hate you, but I don’t love you either. I just met you. I will trust you, and try to have a relationship with you. I forgive you.” Before she could respond I cut her off. “I have one question. Why did you wait all this time to finally see me?”

“I missed you and I wanted to finally have you again. I love you very much. I’m really sorry,” she whispered.

“I will on one condition.

“Which is?” My mother looked scared.

“Don’t ever leave again.” I went up and hugged her and she hugged back. I finally get to hug my mother, for over fifteen years. I finally get the hug I been waiting for, for most of my life.

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