Why me?

She lost the love of her life, but gained a child. Join her on her roller coaster of a life.


11. Ten

Here lies

Saria Emery Caverly

May 24, 2009- June 25, 2012

“Peace, my heart, let the time for the parting be sweet. Let it not be a death but completeness. Let love melt into memory and pain into songs. Let the flight through the sky end in the folding of the wings over the nest. Let the last touch of your hands be gentle like the flower of the night. Stand still, O Beautiful End, for a moment, and say your last words in silence. I bow to you and hold up my lamp to light you on your way. “

The last couple weeks were the best I ever had with her, but I still wished her time was longer here. Two days ago was when she took her last breath. She was buried next to Trey. She finally gets to see her father. I cried so much, that I do not have any tears left. I leaned into Shay and he hugged me tight. Brielle laid flowers on her grave and gave me a hug. Joshua followed close behind. After they walked away hand in hand leaving me and Shay alone. I unhooked my arms from Shay and grabbed his hand. Together, we too walked away from the grave, away from all the people, away from everything. We didn’t stop until we were at our secret place, deep into the forest.

I sat down on the rocks letting go of Shay’s hand. The deep blue water seemed so comforting… What would it be like to drown? I quickly pushed the horrid thought far into my mind. I shouldn’t be thinking that. I have Shay now. I didn’t realize he sat down next to me until he pulled me into his lap. I leaned on his chest. I love being in his arms. I love being with him. I love him.

“I love you, too,” Shay said. I looked at him, startled. Did I just say that out loud? He laughed at my expression and pulled me into a kiss. I loved this feeling, how I get butterflies in my stomach and feel like I’m flying through the clouds. He pulled away and lend his forehead against mine, looking me in the eyes. He smiled shyly, like we had just met, and I smiled back. I love him.

I put my head on his shoulders and felt my eyes getting heavier. I felt tired from all this crying. I closed my eyes and began dosing off when I felt being lifted in the air, and then started moving. I felt safe in Shays arms. I wasn’t tired enough to fall asleep, but my eyes just gave out and shut. I heard him hum a song, the same one I always hear from him. I don’t know what it is but I never know which song it is. He said I will find out one day, but when?

I heard a car door open and I was shifted into a seat. Shay kissed my forehead and put my seat belt on. “Safety first,” he whispered. He shut the door quietly. He thinks I’m asleep. This is funny. He opened up his door and turned on the car. He started to drive, and humming the song again. I wondered what it is. I heard him mumble a few words. I can’t make out any of them. This getting frustrating. I heard the car stop and Shay’s door open. I felt my door being opened then me being lifted out of the car. He opened some other door and me being sat down on a couch. He started walking away, humming the song again.

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