Guidance

Scarlett Nights, or should I say Scarlett Styles? Scarlett has been engaged to Harry for two years. But Harry has to go over-seas for a week for a huge charity fundraiser. But something happens on that ship... Something bad... What about Scarlett? Will she stop talking?... Again? What about Harry? What about the lads? Will friendship grow or will it fail? Scarlett has to make a choice, a choice that will change her life a ton... Will she be able to? Or will she block out the past?

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3. Chapter 1- The Wrong Turn

Guidance: 1- The Wrong Turn




-September 12

The girls were great today. They're really holding up their half of the deal. Sure will be fun to have a farm in our back yard!

I can't even begin to describe how much I hate not having Harry next to me right now. It's not like I'm not used to him being away, he goes on tour a lot. But this time, it's different. Whenever Harry goes on tour, either me and the kids go with him, or just the kids go with him. Either way, the kids are always with him, I didn't have to worry about Carly's nightmares like I do now.

I was already worried about the whole 'cruise' idea before Carly's nightmare about it sinking. I feel like her having that dream was a sign from God, and I don't like it one bit. 

The girls had fun at karate and gymnastics, they even got uncle Zayn to join karate with them for the day. It was quite a funny sight. It was even funnier when Liam did their gymnastics routine with them.

Tomorrow's Niall's birthday. He's going to love his trampoline and Nando's diner.

Carly's screaming, time to call Liam and solve another nightmare.



-September 13

As predicted, Niall loved his gift and the diner. It's midnight and I'm 90% sure him and the girls are still outside jumping. I should really get them to bed, but they've been so good lately... I'll let them have their fun a while longer.

Now that I think about it... if Carly doesn't sleep... there's no nightmares... Looks like they're pulling an all-nighter!

Cree hyper extended her knee on the trampoline earlier, I wrapped it up in an ace bandage and iced it for a few minutes but I could't keep her off the trampoline. 

Aunt Gemma game out for a visit too. The girlies really loved that.



Miss you Hazz, come back safe. And hurry. 



-September 14

Four more days.

Four, long, tiring, days. 

It's about 1:00 p.m. right now and I'm currently watching the news. God knows why, I hate the news! It's so... what do you call it? Oh, right! Insanely boring! Although-

No, no, no, no no nonononononono!



-September 15

No. No. No! 

That's all I kept telling myself. I refuse to believe it! The news is stupid. Absolutely stupid! There's no way it's true. No way!

Yesterday the news told me something, something terrible, something I don't want to write. But I'm going to... here goes- here goes everything.

The ship sank.

I had a long talk with Zayn, I could tell he was holding back tears... Here's how it went:

Me: "It's not true. It didn't sink! They must've got the ship names mixed up, that's all."
Zayn just stared at me for several minutes- it looked as if he was thinking on what to say. As if saying it even slightly wrong would destroy me. After about a minute or two I could roughly make out tears in the corner of his eyes; he was staying strong for me. 

Zayn: "Scarlett, I know you don't want to face it, I understand that you don't want to believe it. But it's best to face it now rather then later. Look, it's not just hard on you, it's hard on all of us... It's probably best you don't tell the girls until they suspect somethings wrong."
I paused for a moment before answering.

Me: "I know."
Zayn playfully poked my shoulder.

Zayn: "Hey, at least he can swim."
I smiled, but only because I knew I was supposed to. 

Zayn: "Scarlett, don't mope about this. They said there was thirty-seven survivors and their names will be posted in a couple days. That means he could very well still be alive."  

I didn't respond, there was no point. 

Zayn: "Okay, how about you tell me what's bothering you the most about this." 

I didn't hesitate to respond, I didn't need even a split second to think about my answer- I already knew. It's all I've been thinking about since I heard about the sinking.

Me: "The kids." 

Zayn paused for a moment with his head tilted downwards before responding. 

Zayn: "Hey." 

He wrapped his muscular arm around my back. 

Zayn: "It's going to hurt them just as much as it hurts you, but fortunately, they're still young- very young." 

Neither one of us said anything for quite some time. 

Zayn: "Sadly, in much less then a year they won't even remember him..."

That- that almost killed me- because it's true. But that's not it, I didn't even think about that- until now.


Me: "They need guidance, Zayn."

It was clear he didn't have a solution for that because he got up and left. I listened for the sound of his footsteps going down the hall, down the steps, and finally the sound of the front door slamming shut.



Looking back, I can clearly see that conversation took a bad turn right from the beginning. I later had a talk with Liam, he said he'd stay at the house for a while to help with Carly's nightmares. I thanked him and told him it'd be a big help. And then, without thinking, I kissed his cheek.

Harry, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I swear, it meant nothing. 





-September 16

Liam staying here has been a big help with the kids- and its only been a day. 

The kids are still being great- here we come back-yard-farm!

I decided I should go to collage, if this thing is really happening I'm going to need a good job. I joined a great online collage and I'm training to become a accountant. The lads said their accountant is quitting in about six months and I can be their new accountant. Works for me, now me and the kids can go on tour- never mind...





-September 17

The girls asked how long its been since daddy left, I told them two days. Good thing they can't tell time yet. Once they realize he should be coming home tomorrow, it's going to kill them when he doesn't come home.

He'll be back. He's still alive. I know it. He just won't be home on time, no biggy...




-September 18

What a stressful day. 

The list of all the deceased people from the sunken ship came in. Along with the list of survivors. I'm tired of everyone saying "it's okay." Because, honestly, it's not. My kids need guidance... And if Harry doesn't come back by the end of the month, not only will they know something happened, they won't have the guidance they need. 

So here's how it went finding out who survived and who didn't:


?: "Scarlett..."  

I could tell by the voice coming from behind the door that it was Liam who wanted to talk to me.

I decided to respond quickly, and try to sound a bit happy. 

Me: "It's open."  

I watched carefully as Liam cautiously opened the door and walked in carrying a mac-book-pro. He sat down on the other end of the bed and looked at me with a welcoming smile, the one he always has. He waited for a few seconds before speaking, he thought carefully on how to say this- whatever it is he was going to say.

Liam: "The lists came in today..."

I knew exactly what he meant by "lists," truth is: I just don't want to hear it.

Me: "List's?"

Liam: "The list of survivors from the sunken ship and the list of the deceased."

I knew the right thing to do is read the lists and find out that Harry was found alive, but I'm afraid- afraid he died. After a few moments I sucked it up and responded.

Me: "Alright. Lets take a look then."

I scooted closer to Liam and watched his computer screen as the words 'people found deceased of recent sunken ship' filled the search bar for google. He clicked 'search' and clicked the first link that appeared. He scrolled down through the list.

Susan Bleef

Cara Hank

Frank McDee

Harold Shoemaker

Jordan Mulky

Lisa Black

Kenneth Rewberry

Billy Jones

Lewis Jelhun

Nichole Hanicobonie

Annabelle Pewee

Hannah Franks

Joey Wipkely

Melissa Trapulredobrea

After scrolling for a long time through a bunch of names I never heard, we reached the bottom. I jumped up in joy and yelled.

Me: "He's alive! He's alive! Whoo-eee, whoo-eee!" 

I jumped over a swung my arms around Liam. 

Me: "He's alive!"

I yelled again a got up dancing. Liam kept his eyes locked on the computer screen for several minutes as I continued dancing in pure joy. After a few minutes he looked up to me with wide eyes. I waited until he spoke.

Liam: "He's not on the survivor list..."

Me: "What's that mean?" 

I enquired.

Liam: "It means that he's lost in the ocean..."

Those words he just spoke- they worried me more then anything else.

Liam: "He may be alive... but he may also be dead. There's no way to know right now. He's lost in the sea, chances are a shark ate him, or he drowned, or staved to death and just wasn't found." 

It kills me to know how right he is. 

Liam: "Scarlett, babe, I know it's hard to except, but he may just be gone... and the sooner you except that the better." 

He's right, I know he is. It's for the best that I except the possibility.

Me: "I know, Liam. I know... But my kids need guidance from their father."

All I know is, I refuse to believe he's dead.

Liam: "They're young and won't remember thing about Harry in two months if they don't see him again. It's sad, and I wish Harry was here to take care of them with you, but he's not. I'll stay here as long as you'd like and I'll help pay bills and all that. I'll bring them to karate and gymnastics, in two months they'll not remember a thing about Harry. I wish it didn't have to be that way. I wish Harry was here right now, I wish he could be their father for eternity- but he's not. And maybe this is for a good reason, God sure does have his way of working things at. Trust me I'm not any happier about this then you are, none of us are. But for now, I will be their father and give them that extra guidance they need- if you let me."

After hearing all that I felt both relieved and worried. That is until Liam kissed me anyway, then all the worries went away and I knew his words were true.




-September 19

Why am I still keeping this diary? Harry's dead anyway. 


-September 20

I'm still going on with my "Why should I- Harry's dead anyway" thoughts. Except now, they seemed to get even stupider. Like this morning Liam brought me breakfast in bed- which of course was really sweet- but I didn't even thank him. I just said "Okay," because I kept thinking, "what good will it do to say thanks? Harry's dead anyway."

I need to get out of this funk. 

Although, I'm now just realizing something. How come Liam kissed me? How come he brought me breakfast in bed? What about that long discussion about him being Carly and Crees new dad? (Although, I have to admit- Carly's nightmares have decreased so much since Liam started staying here.) Not to mention the fact that he now sleeps in the same bed as me. Why is he doing all this? It just doesn't add up... It's like he's doing these things out of love... Not just 'Family/Friend love,' but 'love love.' Maybe I should ask him how things are with Danielle...

Why should I? Harry's dead anyway...




-September 21

Liam told me something today... He said that Danielle and him broke up two months ago... He was just to upset to tell anybody and kinda forgot that nobody knew. He also told me why they broke up...

Apparently Danielle 'noticed' that he 'loved me from the start.'



-September 22

Not to much with the lads or Carly and Cree happened this past week... You know, except for Liam telling me he loves me...

Do I love him?

I don't have time for these kind of questions right now. I have to go take my beautiful children to karate then gymnastics. 


-September 22
So I realized something today. Yes, I did and still do love Harry. But over the past year my love for him turned into more of a friend type of love... Truth is, no matter how many times I pushed away the idea of it, I've had my eye on Liam. I know, it's terrible. I marry a guy, have the two most beautiful children I could ever ask for, travel the world with him, and I don't even tell him when my feelings are wearing thin? 

I miss Harry, I truly truly do. But, I have to admit I think the main reason I'm so worried is for Carly and Cree. Yes I love Harry, but now realizing that I don't love him the same way, and haven't for a year, I don't think we could stay married. 

But then again... Maybe I'm just trying to tell myself that I have feelings for Liam so I don't dwell over never seeing the love of my life again. 

Is he the love of my life?

Will I see him again?

For now, I'm putting all thoughts about men in a imaginary drawer in the back of my head...


-September 23

Well, something rather interesting and surprising happened today... It went a little something like this:

It was time to take the girls to gymnastics.

Me: "Let's go girls."

I thought all I had to do way say that and they'd be in the car ready to go, I was wrong. 

Cree began speaking, 

Cree: "Can Daddy take us today?" 

I froze at that, daddy? Have they really forgotten him that quickly. Them Carly nudged Cree with her elbow and whispered something just loud enough for me to hear. I heard, 

Carly: "Cree, Daddy's not back yet..."

I still stood frozen not knowing what to do. 

Cree responded, 

Cree: "Yes he is, he's right over there!" 

Cree pointed to Liam whom was sitting on the couch, he looked up to me and smiled. 

Carly: "Cree, that's not Daddy. That's uncle Liam..." 

Cree: "No, that's Daddy. Isn't it Mommy?"

I honestly didn't know what to say, and I probably would've stood frozen if Liam didn't give me a nod. 

Me: "Y-yes, that's Daddy."
Carly ran up to Liam and engulfed him in a hug. 

Carly: "Sorry Daddy. Your face was getting blurrier and blurrier in my dreams, I guess I just kinda lost the image of you for a while."

Oh my god... Carly's not even remembering Harry in her dreams anymore...

Cree spoke once more, 

Cree: "C'mon Daddy! Drive us to gymnastics!"

And with that, the three of them ran out the door and hopped into the car, leaving only a trail of laughter and smiles.
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Okay, I know Liam said they'd forget Harry soon and think of him as their dad... But really? This soon? And has Carly seriously lost the sight of her birth father, even in her dreams? That kinda explains the low amount of nightmares...



-September 24

So I talked to Carly about her nightmares tonight. From what I understand, they're back to her 'worst nightmare:' getting eaten alive my a gigantic spider...

That's the nightmare she always had before Harry left- the nightmare she always had when her father was ALWAYS around...

Then it hit me, she really doesn't remember Harry anymore... She really doesn't even notice he's gone... I knew this would happen... But this soon?

-September 25

Okay, so in the past week or so Harry left, his ship sank, he got lost in sea (I still don't know if he's alive or not), and what else? Hmm, oh right, the girls completely forgot about Harry and now call Liam, Daddy. Not to mention the fact that Carly's nightmares are back to normal, they way they were when her father was always around for her. 

Looks like Liam's going to be their new father... But there's one problem:

I don't love Liam. I truly don't, not the way I love Harry...


I need Harry back here right now before Carly and Cree erase Harry's face from their minds. I know they remember him- somewhere deep in the back of their minds. Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself. 



Boy, life sure took a wrong turn. 
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Enjoying it so far? I know it seems like it's going to fast but you have to remember this chapter takes place over 12 days. Also, there's a lot more going to happen in this story so this won't seem like it's going so fast as you continue reading. 


I'm leaving for vacation Sunday so no promises on an update next Friday as usual. But I will try my best. :)

Thanks for reading! :) please leave all your beautiful comments, I do read all of them! 

Bye!

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