Near to You

"I loved him. There's no other way to put it. He was my one and only, but he wasn't what I expected." Sara was in love. Wholeheartedly, and completely in love. But he didn't love her back, and they both suffered for it. Now, Sara has to recover from a heart torn and bruised and ripped in two by a man she trusted. But will she have to do it alone, or will she learn to trust another?

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3. Recovery

He was gone from my life.

I was worthless.

A snitch. Someone who can't support the man they love. A failure.

I was in witness protection now, guarded by police twenty/four seven. His friends were out to get me.

The policeman, Harvey, was my personal bodyguard.

He slept downstairs on the sofa, and heard me cry every night.

He was nice, but I couldn't look at him or let him touch me.

I was broken.

I'd ruin Harvey like I ruined him.

I'm cursed.

'Sara, the results of the trial have come back.' He said softly.

I looked up, hope in my eyes.

Maybe the jury could see how I'd ruined him so much, and set him free.

'He's guilty. Life imprisonment for GBH, possession of Class A drugs; there's a long list of offences Sara. I'm sorry.' I felt my heart aching even more than my broken body.

I had five broken ribs, my left arm was broken in three places and cracked in another four, I had severe internal bleeding when I was taken to hospital, I had a black eye and a cracked jaw.

Yet the pain I felt deep in my heart was so much worse.

I started crying, and flinched slightly as Harvey enclosed me in a gentle embrace, careful of my injuries as he stroked my hair.

'It's okay Sara. He can't hurt you any more.'

'I loved him. I still love him.' I sobbed, clutching on to Harvey's white shirt with my less wounded arm.

'It's my fault... it's all my fault... I'm broken.' I was quickly becoming hysterical.

'Don't say that! What he did was criminal. He harmed a beautiful young woman. You did nothing. He deserves everything he gets, do you understand me?' I nodded.

'I know... but I loved him so much. I don't want to love him, I don't... but I can't help it.' I whispered hoarsely between sobs.

'He's not worth it Sara. I know it hurts, but you've got to get over him, or he'll carry on ruining your life, even though he's gone.' I swallowed, still reeling over losing the man I loved, but I understood what he said, and slowly nodded, staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

'I'll try.' I said, smiling shakily.

'See? That's the first time I've seen you smile.' He said, stroking a strand of my dyed blonde hair out of my eyes.

'What colour is your hair supposed to be?' He asked.

'Brown. He preferred the blonde though.' I said, looking down.

'What do you prefer?' 

'I don't know.' I said, confused.

'Well, maybe we should fix that.' He said, smiling again. I smiled nervously, trying not to hurt my jaw, and took my first step to fixing my heart.

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