Girl Handbook

Girl Handbook is a guide to the mind of the average Teenage girl, pre-teen, and even adult women. And the crazy hormones girls have. Girl handbook expresses the troubles of the average girl , Girl codes, and the things that normal teenagers just dont want to talk about! This is a book full of how to fit in, the troubles of moving, and how to go from the outsider to the leader. The ups & downs of mother nature. And how life just isnt fair sometimes.

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31. 3rd wheel?

Friends can exclude you, embarrass you, fall out and in with you, yell at you... Its not all good especially with really close friends you see every day so if you find that one day your bff decides to talk to someone else, don't be shocked and immediately take offence that they don't want to spend every moment of their life with you! This does not mean that they hate you, they just need to take a moment to step back and breath.

But if you are totally being ignored then, of course. it is a different story!

Think about this for example.

Rosie, Kyra and Natasha sit down to eat lunch together, Kyra and Natasha have been best friends for years, talking to each other has always been easy, no secrets between these two. Rosie is that cool kid everyone likes, she likes Kyra but for some reason she hates Natasha. (You all still following?) So when they sit down, Kyra and Rosie talk to each other and completely blank Natasha, even when she tries really hard to join in the conversation they reply with really quick answers and get back to whispering and giggling with each other. This happens every day for a week.

What should Tasha do?

As you can tell she has already considered my first point but it happens to often for that one.

1. Have you tried hard enough?

Are you sure that you aren't just leaving all the work to other people? Are you perhaps just assuming that someone else will include you and you aren't actually speaking a lot or bringing up conversations that will interest people. Are you playing the part of third wheel much to easily? Are you putting into conversation what you expect to get out of it? And I know this may not be the case but it is worth looking at yourself before accusing other people, some blame may have to go on you.

2. Confront her?

Maybe your one of those people who can easily confront people, is good at creating scenes and getting your point across. You could try this in front of everyone else if it is a point you want everyone to hear to make them all listen to you more (don't over do it, they may think your crazy and want to talk to you less if you go round yelling in their faces.) But during one of those awkward moments of silence you could bring it up. Or maybe try and talk to your best friend or someone you think will listen alone, and then they can maybe tell everyone else you're not happy. Don't feel that it isn't your right to talk to them about it, because it is! And if your not happy you come first! They shouldn't get cross with you for it, it's not a good reason to get angry with someone. So try and be confident and not scared or anything. If you are worried though, try and get them while they're in a good mood so they will be more understanding (because arguments can be really tiring so avoid them if possible)

3. Maybe start small? 

Pick out a certain person to try and start small conversation with them, if you are in a big group rather than trying to grab the attention of the entire group just start with one person, put some effort in, let your best points shine through and become better friends with that person one on one. Once people see how interested that person is in conversation with you, they may want to talk to you as well and so on, until you are leading conversations left right and center. Don't be afraid to start small.

4. Consider the people in your friendship group. 

Is there someone new in your group who maybe is taking the light away from you? If so don't be worried it might just be that people want to get to know this person. Join in! I've been in situations like this and from experience I can tell you its much more fun if you go along with it and join in with everyone else.

Or is there someone new in your friendship group who is deliberately trying to exclude you?  If someone is deliberately excluding you, talk to your other friends and tell them what you think she's doing. Maybe you could test out your theory with them or you could keep an eye out for when its happening and try to stop it from happening. Either way if your friends are really your friends they'll help you do something about it.

5. Are they really your friends?

Now, I only include this for the sake of those people who may be suffering from bullying or all your 'friends' excluding you on purpose. You may not want to admit it but it is possible that your friends aren't actually your friends. If the are making you feel rubbish all the time then I guess you could class that as a form of bullying, even if they were your friends they can still bully you. I'm pretty sure we either have or will have a chapter on bullying so you can read more about it on that, but there are loads of nice people out there so I'm sure you would be able to find new, better friends if this does happen to you. 

I hope this helped to all of you out there who are worried about this kind of thing and also CyanCrazy, I did this chapter on what you commented about so hope you find it useful;)

~Elrenia

 

 

 

 

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