Rebellious, Beautiful, and Insecure

Alex and Amber are sisters. They are twins actually, Alex being twenty minutes older. Amber is always going, going, going with boys. But Alex rarely even goes on dates - and for a reason. The two sisters get jobs working for One Direction and the boys are quick to fall for them. Will Alex let her guard down and fall for the boy? Or will her past keep her from ever finding love? Travel along these girls' journey as teenagers, getting caught in fame, mystery, and intensity.

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42. Recording Me

"In you go," Harry tells me.

"Um...no. You boys have to be recorded yourselves," I say.

Amber ushers them in the booth and Simon walks over to me. "How many songs do you have?" He asks me. I take out my laptop and begin to turn it on.

"I have two finished, four almost done, and three that are about halfway through," I tell him, showing him the document that contains each of my songs. 

"You wrote all of these?" He asks me, reading each one individually. 

"Yea..." I answer, trailing off. 

"Well I'll tell you what. Let's get those first two songs recorded, then I'll spend some time with you to finish the four that are almost done and record those and tonight you can work on the others," He says.

"And this is going to be ready for Sunday?" I ask. He does realize it is Thursday right?

"It'll be tough, but yes. Today we will do all of that along with the second interview, which by the way did I mention you and Amber are going on that one? And then tomorrow Tori and Amber will set choreography for three new dances for the boys and you will set some choreography for your songs. Saturday will be practice and Sunday is the show!" He says, all of it clicking into place in his head.

"You mean...I have to dance tomorrow?" I ask, thinking of how much pain my lower section is in now. He nods. "Yay..." I say unenthusiastic-ally.  

"Alright. Let's get you set up in the booth across the hall," He tells me. 

"I have the instrumental for the two songs that are done. The other ones I'm in the midst of editing," I inform him. I tell Amber to come in with us because the instrumental is on the laptop and as much as I like Simon, I'm not trusting him alone with my computer.

I head into the booth hold a headphone to my ear. The sound guy gives me a thumbs up and I start singing:

"You can see it inside of me

I'm breaking free

There's no holding me back

I thought you could see

 

I thought I did know

Where did you go

But now your back

Now you attack

 

But I'm not giving in

I'm going to win

 

I'm taking a chance!

One last glance

You have no more power

I'm on top of the tower

 

And you can see it inside of me 

I'm breaking free

There's no holding me back

I thought you could see

 

You're insults are pathetic

You're attempts just too lame

I thought you had changed

But I guess you're the same

 

So I'm moving on

Letting go

Turning the page

Continuing the show

 

And you can see it inside of me

I'm breaking free

There's no holding me back

I thought you could see

 

I thought you could see

Thought you could see

Me,"

This song is clearly about Jeremy. I put all of my feeling into it, keeping my voice on tune and adding depth. "I don't think we need to do that again," The recorder tells Simon. "Her voice was on key throughout the whole thing and we got it all recorded."

Simon looks at me smiling and shakes his head. "I actually have three finished if you count the one you've already heard," I tell Simon. He nods and gives me a thumbs up. "The second song is acoustic. Can I use the guitar?" I ask. He nods. I grab the acoustic guitar from against the wall.

The recorder gives me a thumbs up and I start my intro with the guitar.

"What happened to society?

The one I used to know

Everything is changed now

There is no room to grow

 

How can I be happy?

When everything's gone wrong

I have the words, I have the key

But still can't make the song

 

You're looking for an answer

But no one thinks it's true

That what you really need

Is found deep inside of you

 

What happened, to society?

The one I used to know

Everything is changed now

There's no room to grow

 

I've said I'm ugly

People are so mean

But everyone has beauty

That I know is true

 

You hate yourself

You're insecurties are on a roll

But perfection is just a word

It's not a goal

 

What happened, to society?

The one I used to know

Everything is changed now

There's no room to grow

 

Words hurt and damage

People are dying

Children are crying

Because no one knows compassion

 

No one sees the light

You cry yourself to sleep at night

You really are trying

But tired of crying

 

Stay strong because hope is on the way

Promise me you will stay

Because I'm changing society

To the one I used to know

Where love can be found

And support is around

 

Changing, society

to the one I know

Hold on tightly now,"

I open my eyes as I finish the song and look out to see all of the boys standing there, their jaws slack and eyes wide. I put the guitar down and go to open the door. "You have no idea how powerful that song is going to be," Simon tells me.

The boys erupt in applause and Zayn rushes over to me. He cradles my face in his hands and is about to kiss me. "Zayn we're at w-"I start to protest, but he slams his lips against mine anyways. 

It's a quick kiss, but super intense. "Sorry Simon. I couldn't help it," He apologizes once he pulls back. Simon shrugs, looking at my other songs.

"This one is about him?" Simon asks me, referring to Zayn.

"The three that are in the middle are about him," I reply.

"Fabulous. Absolutely fabulous," He claps his hands. The boys are still staring at me along with Doniya and Kriss. 

They all start applauding me. "Zayn don't you ever let that girl go," Louis says pulling me in for a hug. 

"Did you guys finish recording?" I ask impatiently.

"Erm... we kind of got distracted when Kriss rushed to tell us how amazingly you were singing," Harry replies.

"Well then go finish. We have to be at the interview in less than an hour," I literally push them all out of the room. I grab my laptop and sit down on the bean bag, eagerly writing down new ideas. 

"If you finish any before we go record them," Simon tells me, going to check on the boys' progress.

As soon as he's gone I start freaking out. "Amber help," I cry.

"What?" She asks.

"I need eight songs done by tomorrow night. And so far I have like three," I tell her.

"What do you want me to do?" She questions.

"Write me a song," I say desperately.

"Oh no. You know I'm not good at that stuff," She replies.

"Well then go to our flat and grab the notebook I stuff under my bed. I have tons of sections of songs that I never did anything with," I tell her.

"And when am I supposed to do this?" She questions.

"Now?" I ask.

"I'll go," Doniya offers.

"Really?" I inquire. She nods. I throw my keys at her. She gives me her number. I tell her where Amber and I leave. 

"I'll send you a text on which room is mine and which notebook to grab," I call after her as she rushes out.

"I can't believe you just gave our flat keys to a stranger," Amber sighs.

"She's not a stranger. There's a good chance that that's my future sister-in law," I reply, stressing out again and going back to add lyrics to songs that I haven't completed.

"What rhymes with love?" I question Amber. She comes in front of me.

"Alex," She says slowly. I look at her. "Take a deep breath," She commands. I breathe deeply in through my nose and out of my mouth. 

I open my eyes again and look at the screen in front of me. I start a new song as a new idea pops into my head. I keep writing and editing this new song and can't figure out the last words I want to use. 

"Kriss come here," I tell her. She comes over to me.

"Am I distracting you?" She says looking up at the ceiling. I look up with her and the idea clicks in my head. I end the song with the word above. 

"Nope! Actually you just helped me finish this song," I smile at her, kissing her cheek.

"Really?" She exclaims.

"Yup," I answer.

I continue working and I finish one more song before Doniya comes back, throwing my notebook at me. I flip through the pages knowing that there's something in here that will help me finish another song, but not quite knowing what it is. 

"Aha!" I exclaim, finding two stanzas of lyrics. I alter them slightly and they fit perfectly into the semi-complete song, finishing it entirely. "Thank you Doniya!" I practically shout getting up and hugging her.

"Your welcome," She laughs. 

"Okay, I'm going to do the rest later tonight," I sigh, closing the laptop just as Simon enters.

"Did I mention that the next interview is going on the Hellen Show?" He asks.

"You mean the show that is live and watched around the world every night?" I question.

"That'd be the one," He smiles.

"You know, you just keep forgetting to mention things Simon," I tell him, getting up and trying not groan in pain. The pain has been gradually fading, but it's still there. Now at least I can walk normally while masking my pain. 

"Well we don't to be late!" Simon ushers us.

"Hey, we haven't been late so far," I point out to him. 

"That's true," He replies. 

----------------------Authors Note-------------------

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