Rebellious, Beautiful, and Insecure

Alex and Amber are sisters. They are twins actually, Alex being twenty minutes older. Amber is always going, going, going with boys. But Alex rarely even goes on dates - and for a reason. The two sisters get jobs working for One Direction and the boys are quick to fall for them. Will Alex let her guard down and fall for the boy? Or will her past keep her from ever finding love? Travel along these girls' journey as teenagers, getting caught in fame, mystery, and intensity.


44. Choreographing

"I'm going to head home," Doniya says heading over to me and giving me a hug.

"I'll walk you down," I tell her as she gives Zayn a hug. He's very stiff in the hug, but he does return the hug. Zayn narrows his eyes at me and I smile, hooking my arm in Doniya's and passing through the doorway.

"Okay, so what's up?" She asks as we begin to descend the stairs.

"I really want to get a jump start on the day in the morning, but don't want to bother Zayn so early. Would you mind accompanying me? I wouldn't ask because I don't really need anyone, but I know having someone with me will make Zayn feel better," I tell her.

"Sure, no problem," She answers.

"Really?" I ask. She nods smiling. "Okay well, meet me outside here at around 7:30?" I question.

"Sounds good. Do you drink Dunkin? I'll stop and get us coffees," She suggests. I give her my order and give her another hug at the bottom of the stairs. 

As I head back upstairs I stop at Harry's and Amber's to tell Amber that I'm going in early tomorrow so it's up to her to make sure the boys get to there on time. She gives me a hug and slaps my bum as I continue heading back up to Zayn. 

"Seems like you and my sister really hit it off," Zayn says, drinking a beer on the couch. I go and sit next to him, leaning against his side. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him, tentatively.

"Talk about what?" He questions, looking at me.

"This morning? This afternoon? Your family?" I provide options. He sighs and takes a sip of his drink.

"Nope," He pops the p.

"Okay," I reply, kissing his cheek. 

"I need a cigarette," He mutters, getting up. I sigh and go grab my computer, determined to finish some songs. Zayn heads out of the loft and I start writing again. I keep thinking about Zayn and being associated with famous people, and dealing with Jeremy, and taking responsibility. There are so many ideas that I have and I just write them all down. Then I go back and find that some ideas work better together with others, and some ideas don't fit at all with the one it is with, but would work very well in a different song or a new song as a whole. 

Zayn comes back about ten minutes later with an empty beer bottle and an empty cigarette pack falling out of his pocket. He comes in quietly and sits on the couch. "I've never made it to their expectations. I've always been a let down. Just a burden on their back," He says.

"Your parents?" I ask, shutting the computer and turning to him. 

"And I'm not just imagining it. I would always here my mum and dad complaining about me. They never told me that they loved me. So I left," He continues. I place my hand on his arm and start rubbing up and down his arm. "I decided I didn't want that negative influence in my life, bringing me down when I could be successful on my own. It worked for a while too - until my parents decided that if I didn't talk to them then I couldn't speak with my younger sisters. Doniya was one of the only family members I had that continued talking to me. My grandfather chose to ignore me until on his deathbed when he asked to see me and apologize. And now, my grandmum is in the hospital," By the end, he's sobbing, tears streaming down his face. I pull him down, resting his head in my lap and he puts his legs up on the couch. 

"What do you want to do?" I ask him. He reaches up, searching for my hand, and I give it to him. He plays with my fingers and squeezes my hand. 

"I've lost so much," He whispers. "My mum and dad, my sisters, my grandpa," He adds. 

"You love your family right?" I ask tentatively.

"Of course," He answers, turning to look up at me. 

"Then maybe we could visit your grandmother," I suggest. He looks up at me with his big brown eyes - they're a beautiful chocolate brown at the moment. 

"No. We can't do that," He shuts down the idea.

"Maybe it won't be so bad. I'm sure you miss her," I say. He reaches up and strokes my hair.

"You have no idea," He whispers.

"Well you think about it. And if you decide maybe you'd like to see her than I would be glad to accompany you," I tell him, smiling sadly down at him. He strokes my face, a tear sliding down his cheek.

"I won't lose you," He says suddenly. I don't reply. "Alex, I'm serious. I will fight for you until I die," He tells me.

"I'm really not worth it," I reply. He sits up and pulls me on his lap, holding my chin in his hand. 

"Please, please don't ever say that," He tells me completely serious. "You are 100% worth it,"

"You've known me for like a week," I laugh fakely.

"It's not my fault love at first sight exists," He says. I climb off of his lap and go grab a water bottle.

"Don't even go there," I mumble, not loud enough for him to hear. 

"In all seriousness Alex, I will not lose you," He tells me, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Anything can happen," I say happily, but I mean it in a hopeless way. 

We go back to the couch and I continue working on my songs while Zayn watches the tellie. "Do I get to see those?" He asks me.

"Nope," I answer.

"Are any of them about me?" He questions.

"Yup," I answer, typing another lyric. 

"Will you sing for me?" He asks.

"No," I laugh. 

"Why does that work for Kriss but not for me?" He pouts.

"Because Kriss is cuter than you," I giggle, writing a stanza and turning it into the chorus for the last song that I need to finish.

He doesn't say anything, because he knows I'm right. "What are we going to do about her?" He asks.

"Your sister offered to adopt her," I reply quietly.

"Doniya did?" He asks, not believing it. I nod my head.

"She said that way Kriss would have a loving home and we could still see her a lot because she would still be in the family," I tell him.

"I love her to pieces, but I don't think we can keep her as ours," He replies.

"And I will hold you close to my heart

Until the day that we part


And even then

We won't know when

But I hope

I will see you again


Because I know

That my love can grow

For the one that holds my hand

The one that helps me stand," 


I sing part of the song I need to finish. "Happy?" I ask him. He looks at me, eyes wide and then reaches over to grab my chin. He kisses me softly. "Why do you always kiss me after I sing?" I question him, closing the document and shutting off my computer. 

"It's just so beautiful, like you," He says.

"Sometimes Zayn, you're just to much," I laugh. "Now carry me to bed," I tell him. He raises his eyebrows at me, but picks me up in a baby cradle.

"Are we going to bed early tonight?" He asks, carrying me into the room.

"Yup," I answer. He brings me a pair of his boxer shorts and one of his T-shirts. "How do you know I didn't want to wear my nightie?" I ask.

"Do you not remember that I kind of ripped it last night?" He questions, scratching the back of his head. I laugh, pulling off the skinny jeans and my undergarments to pull on the boxer shorts and T shirt while Zayn changes as well.

"I still have the white one," I remind him, climbing under the covers and waiting for him to join me. 

"I guess that's true," He responds, climbing in next to me and pulling me against him.

"I love cuddling with you," I whisper, wrapped up safely in his arms. "So warm and comfortable," I add just as he starts rubbing my back.

"Good night doll," He replies. I drift off to sleep in his arms while he rubs my back gently and whispers sweet things in my ear.

In the morning I gently unwrap his arms from around me and climb out of bed. I get dressed for the day and my lower half is still a little sore, but I can walk normally now without a great amount of pain. 

I slip on my Osiris' and pack a small bag with my sports bra and leggings because I know we will be dancing today. I write a note to Zayn and leave it on the counter after grabbing my pack. Facing the door I figure Zayn probably isn't going to check the counter when realizing I'm gone so I move it to the door. 

I head downstairs and Doniya is waiting for me. I climb into the car with her and she gives me a bright smile. "Good morning," I say. She hands me an iced coffee.

"Hello," She replies smiling. We head to the Main Center first so I can record the new songs that I finished. Simon is there along with the recorder and they're surprised to see us so early.

"If we are going to get this done we have to use all of the time we have," I tell him, heading into the booth. 

By the time we are done recording it is 9:54am. "The boys are coming in around one, so you have time to choreograph your dances," 

"How many songs am I performing?" I ask tiredly.

"Five," He replies. "Plus the duet with Zayn," He answers. I nod and Doniya pats my back reassuringly.

"You'll be fine. Come one, we have three hours," She says. I choose to perform the three that already have instrumentals - the ones I recorded yesterday, plus the one I sang to Kriss last night and the one I sang to Zayn last night. Simon said he would add the instrumental to the additional two songs within the next hour and bring it over. 

At the arena I sit on the stage and stretch. "Oh gosh I'm sore," I complain. Doniya gives me a sympathetic look. "The good news is I have one song choreographed," I tell her. I ask the sound guy to play my track and start dancing. By the end I'm slightly out of breath, but I feel my adrenaline pumping through my veins.

Immediately I start choreographing the other songs, playing them over and over again as I add an 8-count or add a dance move into an 8-count, until the next two songs are done. "Can you play all three of them in a row?" I ask the sound guy.

The first song starts and I begin dancing. As I'm going I see the boys come in, Zayn rushing to be first with Kriss in his arms. I continue going through the dance and then set up for the next one. Once all of the songs are done I walk slowly off of the stage, grabbing my coffee from Doniya and trying to catch my breath. 

"Do you know how worried I was when I woke up?" Zayn questions me, rushing up to me and grabbing my waist. 

"I was going to leave the note on the counter, but I figured you'd rush straight to the door," I tell him nonchalantly.

"What if someone came for you?" He asks.

"That's exactly why I had Doniya come with me. I knew you wouldn't want me going alone," I reply. 

He sends Doniya a glare. "You scared the shit out of me," He whispers. 

"You get scared easily," I smile, walking away to put my coffee back down. "Okay boys. Up on stage," I call to all of them. While choreographing my own dances I came up with new dancing ideas for the lads. 

Tori comes rushing in the arena. "Sorry, sorry sorry! I didn't mean to be late!" She exclaims, running down the aisle.

"It's not a problem," Amber tells her, pulling out her laptop. Tori heads into the other room to change and I look down at myself - I'm in black leggings, my grey sports bra, a blue off-of the shoulder shirt and my Osiris'. My hair is pulled up in a ponytail, but my bangs fall across my face at their normal angle.  I can feel myself sweating and it's kind of gross, but at the same time it feels good. 

I teach the boys the new dance moves that I came up with, but I find out that them learning it is a tiny bit more difficult for them to actually perform than I assumed. I give them time to go over it with themselves as I head down to see how Tori is coming with the next song's choreography. 

She shows me all of the counts for each of the boys. Their parts differ at some points, but for the main part they are the same. "Okay, great," I tell her. The headset that I have on that connects me to Michael (who I call the music man because he's the one who plays the music when I ask) dings in my ear.

"Alex, Simon just sent over the other two songs. Would you like to hear them?" Michael's voice asks through the headpiece. 

"Sure Mike. But can we wait a few minutes? I'd like to see the boys get this," I laugh.

"Sure thing Alex," He replies.

Amber calls me over and I walk over to her and bend down. "Zayn is staring at your arse. Actually they all are," She whispers. I quickly sit down next to her, still looking at her. "Simon asked us to look at the website again because someone was trying to break into the employee list and and payroll information. The person was able to look through the roster and was checking recently hired employees. If we can narrow it down to who they were looking at then maybe we can figure out who the person is," She tells me. 

"Okay, can you wait like ten minutes?" I ask her. She nods and smiles.

"Alex, just keep breathing," She says. 

"No time for that," I laugh, running over to Kriss and say good morning before running back on stage to see how the boys are doing. I do it once with them and turn my head to find them staring at my arse just like Amber said. "Anyone I catch staring at my arse will run," I threaten.

"How far?" Zayn dares.

"Eight times around your block," I reply. 

He looks around at the other boys, the thought of them staring at my bum as well just now registering in his mind. "Did you all learn the part?" I question them, not giving Zayn an opportunity to yell at them. 

I watch them go over it and they're still a little unsure about it, but I'm pretty sure they will get it in time for the concert. I have just given them a water break when music comes over the speakers. I sit on the stage and close my eyes, letting the sound sink in. My voice accompanies the instruments and I have to admit it sounds fantastic. 

Once the two songs are done playing I thank Michael and then head down to Amber as Tori heads on stage with the boys again. "Holy shit," I mutter to Amber, my face going blank while looking at the screen. 

"What is it?" Amber asks. I show her what I came up with on my laptop - I narrowed it down to the 's's for last name and I began to look at recent employees for S. Any guesses of what I came up with? - Alexandria and Amber Sweet. "Do you think it's..." She trails off.

"It has to be. Who else?" I ask, feeling the color drain from my face.

"Alex?" I hear Zayn call worriedly. He jumps off the stage and sprints towards me. I slam the laptop closed before he gets a chance to see the screen. "Alex?" He repeats, worried.

"I'm fine Zayn," I reply automatically. I hand the laptop to Amber and get up. Zayn wraps an arm around my back, attempting to steady me. "I'm fine Zayn," I repeat, although I'm trying to convince myself and not him. "I just need a minute okay? Go back on stage," I tell him, pushing him away slightly and heading towards outside for fresh air. 

"Alex, what happened?" He asks me, refusing to let go of me, but letting me walk towards outside. 

"Do you have any cigarettes left?" I question him. He takes out his pack and there is one left. I take it from his hand and reach inside his pocket to grab his lighter.

"Alex," He reaches out and grabs my arm. I shake it off and light the bum, pressing it to my lips and taking a drag. It had been a while since I had a cigarette, but there was no denying the comfort it brought me. 

Instantly I relax, and I lean against the wall. "I just saw something that made me upset," I tell him, being extremely vague. 

"Yea. I can tell - all of the color from your face was gone," He replies, watching as I take another drag. 

"It's nothing to worry about now. I overreacted," I respond, trying to believe it. 

"Since when do you smoke?" He asks, trying to distract me while not completely dropping the topic. 

I shrug. "I'd rather not talk about it right now," I sigh, taking one last drag and stomping out the bud. I take his hand and we head back inside, my nerves a little lower now, but I'm still shaken up. "Up on stage you go," I tell him, kissing his cheek quickly before pushing him in the direction of the stage. 

I go sit next to Amber. "So how are we going to handle this?" I ask Amber. 

"I called Simon and he is putting monitors on Jeremy to see everything he does and to make sure that Jeremy stays away from all of us." Amber responds.

"You already told Simon?" I question. She nods. "Ugh," I groan, standing back up and heading over to Kriss. "Can I have a hug?" I ask Kriss. She smiles and gives me a giant hug. I kiss her forehead and take a deep breath. 

"Alex," Doniya places a hand on my shoulder. All she says is my name, but instantly it comforts me. 

I sit with Doniya and Kriss for a little while, allowing myself to calm down. At 2:30pm I stand up, refusing to just sit and do nothing. I go up on stage and go over the new choreography with the boys. "Here's a twist for you guys," I tell them, "The last 8-count is yours to choreograph," I smile at them.

"What?" They exclaim.

"It's one 8-count! I'm sure you can do it," I tell them. I go back stage out of their sight and choreograph one more of my songs, because two of them are acoustic so I will be playing the guitar. 

Half way through my choreography of the last dance, I see Simon walking towards me. "How's it going?" He asks me. 

"It's going," I smile breathing heavily. "I have an idea I'd like to run across you," I tell him. 

"Shoot," He replies. 

"For Society, I was thinking I could walk down the aisles and sing personally to a few people and hand out back stage passes," I say unsurely, the idea popping up in my head but thinking Simon will never accept it. 

" seems a little risky. A crazed fan might try to grab you," He replies skeptically. "But, I do have another idea," He says. His idea is to put five heart shaped pins under five random seats in the audience. Before I start singing I'll ask everyone to check under their seats and the people with the heart pins can come up on stage with me while I sing, and those people will also receive passes to the Meet and Greet afterwards. "You're a very down-to-earth person, and the press has realized that. They're eating you up," He tells me, pulling out his mobile to show me all of the tweets. I don't check Twitter very much so he had to show me myself. 

"I have the instrumental for the song with Zayn and some lyrics for you," Simon says pulling out a sheet and handing it to me while clicking the music on with his phone. 

Because is the name of the duet. I sing my part along with the lyrics and I can imagine Zayn singing his. I close my eyes to picture how the choreography will go. When the song ends I ask Simon to go give the music to Mike as I head back to the stage. The boys are all sitting on the ground, taking a water break. 

"Zayn," I call him up. Before the music comes on I do some twirls with him and do a jump where he catches me in the air and twirls me down. 

I give him the words to look at as I run them over in my head. "These are really good lyrics," Zayn says and at that moment I realize Simon stole part of my unfinished lyrics to write this song. I give Zayn a starting position and the music begins to play. I start the singing, running my hand down Zayn's cheek and turning out towards the audience. Zayn pulls me back against him, joining in. 

My verse begins so I let go of Zayn and walk away slightly, doing a soft but sexy dance move. I turn back around towards Zayn and begin to run and do the jump as he starts singing again for the chorus. The song continues and I feel something growing between Zayn and I. It's a sense of pure love, as I don't worry about if he will catch me or not because suddenly he does. Our eyes remained locked on each other throughout the whole dance. At the end, he dips me down, hovering right before he kisses me, and then whips me up at kisses my cheek. 

"Oh no you don't," I say caught up with the moment as I grab his chin and kiss his lips. 

"What happened to no kissing at work?" He breathes heavily in my ear, standing right behind me as everyone applauds. 

"Shut up," I reply breathing just as heavy as I pull away from him to go get a drink. "So did you guys figure out the last 8-count?" I ask them.

"They figured out 6 counts of the 8-count," Tori informs me. I watch what they came up with and just add another two counts for them to have finished the song.

"DONE!" I exclaim excitedly once I have finished choreographing my dances and the boys have run through theirs. I collapse into the seat and catch my breath. Simon talks about what time we have to be here tomorrow and I sit just listening, not having the energy to do much more. I see Doniya looking at me and I laugh knowing how weird I must look. 

"You ready to go luv?" Zayn asks coming over. Pathetically I reach my hands up and he chuckles, picking me up in his arms. "How about we get some ice-cream?" He offers, carrying me out of the building. 

"Sure," I answer.

"Alex! Alex!" Kriss calls excitedly.

"Yes sweetie?" I ask her.

"Can I sleep over Auntie D's house tonight?" She inquires, tugging on Doniya's hand.

"What does Auntie D say?" I reply.

"It's no problem with me," Doniya laughs.

"Sure Kriss," I smile at her. She giggles at me.

Doniya, Zayn, Kriss, and I go out to ice-cream after work. Doniya and Zayn begin to get in an argument about their family once again. "Both of you shut up before you make a scene," I hush them, covering Kriss' ears. 

They sit down and shove spoonfuls of ice-cream in their mouths, shutting themselves up. "Doniya. Phone," I tell her holding my hand out. She sighs and hands me her phone. I scroll through her contacts until I find the name of her sister - Waliyha. 

I copy the number into my mobile and then I find their other sister's name Safaa. I copy her number into my phone as well and then give Doniya her phone back. "What did you just do?" Zayn questions me.

"Nothing you need to worry about right now," I tell him, taking a bite of my ice-cream and putting my mobile in my back pocket. Doniya and Kriss come back with us to the lofts to grab clothes for Kriss. 

Zayn doesn't allow Doniya and I any alone time to talk so I just thank her for this morning and give Kriss a kiss goodnight. I head back upstairs as Zayn says goodbye to Kriss and Doniya. 

----------------------------------Author's Note ----------------------------

OMGG (O M DOUBLE G) WE'RE ALMOST AT 1000 VIEWS HOLY SHIIIZZZZZ!!! SOO I'm going to ask now.....should I make a sequel or nah? Don't worry, we're only about 3/4 the way through of this one...but I wanna know now if you guys want a sequel or nah....


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