This is me. 13 yearold girl with depression and selfharm issues, take it or leave it. I love music, making people smile.


2. What have i done...

It was my fault. My depression told me that and I believed it. Even though she claimed it wasn't I knew it was. I should have been there for her. I should have been a better friend to her. I felt I had broken everything. I felt I had broken her. That night I lay in bed and cried. I cried for hours. I'd done this, I'd messed everything thing up. I felt like I deserved the pain she got. I now know that it was a stupid thing to think. But I felt like I'd done this to her, that I'd hurt her.  I don't know what I was thinking. That night I couldn't hold myself together. So I took some scissors and made the biggest mistake of my life. My wrists were horrible and I hadn't thought about the next day at school. The next day my sleeves were as long as they could stretch. My friends were all normal and happy but I think this day is when they truly noticed something wasn't right. None of them had known before about my depression.  I broke down that day in front of my class too many times. People were like; 'Ugh why is SHE crying again?!' It just made things worse. I told one of my friends and she was amazing about it. She helped me get through the day. But then we had confession -.- (catholic school) and i broke down in front of the whole year before i went up. My friend asked to take me out of the room and we sat on the floor of the girls toilets and cried together.

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