This is me. 13 yearold girl with depression and selfharm issues, take it or leave it. I love music, making people smile.


1. Well....

Okay so everything seemed to go wrong around Christmas. Actually, that's a lie, I knew it was all going wrong but i guess i tried to ignore it...I just started feeling so lonely i felt sick. Somehow i was so lonely that i didn't want to talk to anyone. I think i finally noticed that being weird wasn't good, that people noticed me for all the wrong reasons. That I couldn't keep on going on this way, being hyper and happy all the time and holding in how rubbish i felt inside. So I slowly let myself down. I stopped trying to hide the pain i felt. I stopped holding back the tears. People started to notice. Christmas came and i put on my fake smile and all that shit. But i hate Christmas. And i know that sounds bad but i can't cope with everything. I can't cope with the stress of it all. I can't cope with the 'Ooohhhh, it's Christmas-everything's perfect' *bullshit bullshit bullshit* I hate that. So after Christmas i went back to school and tried to change a little. Sort myself out, i tried to stop the weirdness and all. I just wanted to fit in. To not be noticed at all. I'd heard stuff about selfharm, but I never understood what it could do to you. How it controls you. My head started getting filled up with this sit and i couldn't cope. The day before i did it i was told one of my best friends (Sarah) had done it. (a friend who doesn't go to my school but i love so much) She pulled up her sleeve and i saw a perfect criss-cross on her arm. I broke down. In favt i think i may have scared her a little i cried so much. She told me it was okay etc but i couldn't help thinking it was my fault. 

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