Lost in Love. ♥

Living with my best friend Sibel in London can be really funny. Especially when you're close to the boys of One Direction. I have known Niall now for more than 16 years and now here I am sharing a house with him in a private place in London city. Everything has it's ups and downs but finally everything's perfect and nothing other than just perfect.

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30. Hope and Trust

 

Everyone is still standing there shocked and didn't even move. 

The past days I didn't take care of her when she needed me the most.

How could she just live without tell me something like this? It's not like I wont find out.

Someday she had to tell me anyway.

I looked over to Abi, who was standing up wiping away her tears.

She looked at me and then ran upstairs. I wantet to go after her but I was just frozen.

Louis looked at me and I could see he was really upset too.

'I think you should go and talk to her mate' he finally stated and everyone nodded.

'Yes Niall, you should definatly go after her. She needs you' Harry said in a calm voice.

I stared for a couple more seconds at them when I finally turned around and walked upstairs to her room.

 

I silently opened the door to find her lying on her bed.

She wasn't crying. She just lay there, probably asleep. I don't want to wake her. Maybe I just have to wait a bit until she woke up.

I slowly walk over to her bed and sit down next to her. Her back ist turned to me so I can't see her face clearly.

I can't understand why this all has to happen. There is no day without drama. At first we didn't even spend much time together. Then she moved with me to London and everything seemed like a new start for both of us. But she had to meet Josh. Fell in love with him and her heart was broken.

Now, when everything seems to get better again.. she has cancer.

I can't even put in words how much this hurts me. To see her everyday and to know she wont be mine. I don't want to loose her. She's not just my best friend. She's also my first real love.

I could never even think about another girl who might be better than Abi. 

Abi is just perfect.

I love her. So much that it hurts.

'Niall?' her sweet voice interrupted my thoughts.

'oh hey.. you're awake?' I ask turning around to see her staring at me. Her eyes completely red.

I don't want to see her like this. Where's my Abi who always laught for silly things and got into a lot of trouble? Where is my crazy but adorable best friend? I can't see her. The only one I see is a unfamiliar girl. She's not herself anymore. She's been through so many bad things. Everything has changed her. I want my old Abi back. The one who used to trust me. Tell me everything what was bothering her. The one who spended every single minute with me making jokes about me and the boys. The one I fell for.

'I didn't even sleep..' she mumbled.

'Why's that?' I ask as she sat up leaning against the backrest.

'Don't know.. I-I'm just sorry, Ni' she mumbled facing the ground.

'hey, don't be sorry. I mean it was a hard time you've been through. Even if I can't understand why you didn't tell me. 'Cause I'm your best friend right?' I asked looking at her.

She nodded while a tear escaped her eyes.

'I just didn't wanted to give you any preassure or something.. You would be really sad because of me and I just don't want you to be sad..' she stated.

'You're right. I would've been sad. But you know, we could have found a way to solve this. But now everything is getting worse and this is hurting me even more. I mean I would have known it in any way. So you could have told me earlier, don't you?' 

She nodded still mumbling ' I'm sorry '

'It's okay Abi, but you should know I'm always there for you. No matter what. We will get through it together. Like in the old times. Just you and I. And trust me. This is just another bad nightmare. 

And nightmares will go by. Don't worry it'll all get well again. I promise' I said kissing her cheek.

She smiled weakly at me.

'Now tell me. What do you want to do? Shall I cook something? Just tell me what you want. I can't see you like this. You need to be happy again. I miss my old best friend' I state standing.

'No, nothing.. can we just watch a movie or something?' she smiles at me.

'Yeah sure' I nod. 'You go pick the movie and I'll tell everyone that everythings fine, okay? I'll be back in a minute.' 

'Yeah fine, thanks Niall' she says still smiling and then walks over to her TV and turns it on.

Finally everything is back to normal - well almost everything.

 

Liam's P.O.V.

I would have never thought that Abi has cancer.

She's just 17 and has to fight for her life. She doesn't deserves this.

I could see Niall was crying. He didn't even expect something like this. I mean of course not because we never had the feeling she's sick. She was always cheerful and happy no one would have thought that. It's hurting to know that we're about to loose such a good friend.

It's been about 5minutes since Abi and Niall left. I hope they're alright.

Everyone was upset. The one who I really worried about was Sibel. Since today morning she didn't even speak to Zayn and he didn't speak to her. I don't want them to be like this.

I feel horrible that I told Zayn about what happend at the hospital. Things got worse now. I mean I wasn't even sure if it was Chris. But who else could it be Sibel was visiting?

 

'Guys, I talked to Abi.. she's feeling better now. I want to spend some time with her if you don't mind. I know you came to stay for a week or so but I think we all are in a bad situation right now, aren't we?' Niall said entering the dining room.

'Yes I understand mate.. I think it's the best for all of us if we go back to our houses' I say giving him a reassuring look and everyone nodds.

'Thank's Liam. I hope you don't mind or even get me wrong.. we both need to work things out' Niall stated still a bit worried.

'No Niall, it's completely alright. If there's anything we can do for you. Just call us, mate. We're here for you and Abi' Louis says making Niall smile.

He nodds and turns around walking back upstairs.

 

' I think I'll go for a walk or something before leaving..' Harry says looking at us. He has been really quite the whole time.

'Wait, I'll come with you' Seyhan says and they both walk towards the door.

Wait. What? Seyhan?

I look over to Louis who's also quite irritated as I am. But suddenly his phone goes of before he had the chance to say something.

He looks at me and than excuses himself walking into the livingroom.

Now the atmosphere is getting even more awkward.

There are just Sibel , Zayn and I left. Could this get any worse?

'Sibel, everything alright with you? You look really dull' I say in a calm voice since I know Zayn wouldn't make the first step to talk to her.

Sibel looks up at me with her cheeks completely wet of her tears.

' alright?`You ask me if everything's alright, Liam? How could be everything alright?! My best friend has cancer! I couldn't tell anyone of you because of this stupid promise I made to her! It kills me inside to know that my best friend is probably going to die and I can't do anything to help her! 

And than Zayn! He doesn't even talk to me since yesterday night. I don't understand what's wrong with him! I mean what have I done that he's ignoring me?!' she yells tears still streaming down her face like a waterfall.

'Don't tell me, you don't know what happend last night' Zayn says in a deep laughter.

 

Silence.

'Y-You don't talk about Chris and m-me, do you?' Sibel stutters.

Zayn just nodds.

'Are you kidding Zayn?! I don't get what you're problem is. He's just a friend!' Sibel shouts.

Oh yeah , the atmosphere is much more worse right now.

'Sibel, it's okay' I try to calm her down but she's really angry.

'Oh really? But if he was just 'a friend' why would you lie to everyone you where going to look after Abi?! You could have told them you wanted to meet Chris , don't you?!' Zayn yells back.

Sibel's eyes wide open but she keeps silent.

'Zayn I didn't lie..' she whispers holding back the tears.

Zayn sighs.

'y-you don't trust me?' she asks while a small tear escapes her eyelashes.

No response. Zayn just faces the ground.

'Sorry, I can't take this anymore. If you don't trust me then I can't stay here.. with you..' she says standing up wiping away her tears. 'I'm leaving.' she finally says walking towards the door.

'Wait Sibel, where are you going?' I shout so she could still hear me.

'Back to Ireland' I hear her voice followed by the front door closing.

She's gone.

 

Louis' P.O.V.

After Niall left again we all just stood there until Harry interrupted the silence.

' I think I'll go for a walk or something before leaving..' he said looking not really happy.

I can understand that, he's been really close to Abi lately and the fact that she probably wont make it hurts all of us.

'Wait, I'll come with you' Seyhan says and grabs my attention.

Since when did Seyhan and Harry became so good? 

But maybe she also just wanted to get some fresh air or something. I should stop thinking that negative. She's my sister and if there's something she would definatly tell me first.

I could tell Liam was also a bit confused. Just the way he looked at me as they both walked out of the door.

I was about to say something until my phone began to vibrate.

'Sorry guys, it's mum. I need to attend this.' I said hadding of to the living room.

 

'Hey mum' I say holding the phone on my right ear while sitting down on the sofa.

'Louis, darling, how have you been?' my mom asks through the phone making me smile. I haven't talked to her since she called to tell me Seyhan's going to visit me.

'I'm doing fine, what about you and dad?' I question.

'We're all good. And how's your sister? Did she arrive well and how is she doing?' 

'She's good mom. Everyone likes her and she's been really close to the girls here. Don't you worry she's fine' I reply.

'That's a good thing to here, dear. I was just still worried about the whole thing with Max cause since then she hardly talked to any of us.. it's really bothering me and I'm kind of afraid something might happen to her' my mum always had been the afraid and sensitiv one.

'Don't worry mum, it's all past. I mean it has been couple of months since I left Doncaster. I don't think that guy would go after her again. And if he does , I'm here to protect her' I reassure her playing with the remote in my hand.

'No Louis.. there's something I need to tell you. Of course you're right , it all happend months ago but.. I know I shouldn't have done this..' she started.

I got scared. ' Mum, what happend?' 

' Yesterday.. as I cleaned up her room.. I found her diary..' she started.

'You didn't read her diary, did you?' I asked a bit angry. 

'I didn't wanted to dear. I just wanted to put it aside as the last page was kind of wavy.. like someone poured water all over the page. She cried, Louis.. she cried while writing the page.' she finally said.

I got tensed.

'Mum.. w-what did you write about?' I stuttered don't wanting to know the answer but I knew I had to.

'Louis, after you left.. she hadn't been to school. She was afraid of seeing him again. And since you weren't there she was afraid of getting bullied or even get hurt.' she whispered. She was about to cry I could hear that.

'Just tell me what happend to her mum' I said.

'She used to go to that Café near the school. And one day.. she saw Max..' she started and I putted the remote aside.

'He was there with his friends and.. he went over to her trying to talk to her and grabbing her hand and something like that.. she tried to avoid him and as didn't let go of her she called him 'bastard'. He didn't liked it and just.. he slapped her.' 

'HE WHAT?!' I jumped up. No one ever did hurt my little sister. No one ever slapped or hited her.

I never saw her cry and I never wanted to. The fact that Max made her cry made me shiver. I'm going to kill him.

'Louis, don't get angry or do something you will regret. Just- Just take care of Seyhan! I know you're the right one to take care of her and to make her believe you're there for her. She trusts you.' my mum could really read my mind.

'I'm going to kill him mum.' I whispered.

'Don't. You knew Seyhan loved him right? He was her first real love. Even if he's really a bastard she wouldn't like to see him dead. You know her. She would never want see someone die..' she whispered.

To see someone die. 

Abi. Of course Seyhan became also good with Abi. And now she's also going to die and we can't do anything for her. Seyhan will be upset. It's like everyone she loves are leaving her.

That's what she told me when I left to London and she broke up with Max. I couldn't help and let out a tear escape my eyes. Abi couldn't die. We need to do something. Anything but I don't want to happen something like this. 

'Louis, dear? are you alright?' my mum's voice took me back to reallity.

'Oh y-yes. I-I'm just.. nevermind' I said wiping away my tears.

'Lou, did you cry? What's wrong? Tell me' 

'You remember Abi? Niall's best friend..' I started.

'Yes of course, she stayed with you and the boys last year when Seyhan was on tour for a week at our's with her best friend.. what was her name, Sibel right?' my mom had a great memory.

'Yeah.. she just told us.. that ahm.. she has cancer' I mumbled letting another tear escape my eyes. My mum was the only one I couldn't act in front of.

'Oh dear, that's not a good thing. I hope she's getting well soon. I pray to god she'll get alright don't you worry' she reassured.

'I try.. everyone is really down at this moment mum. I think I should call you another time, I should go look after the others. It was nice to talk to you' I said smiling and wiped my tears again away.

'If there's anything you can always call me darling.' she replied. 'Oh and don't tell seyhan you know about what happend' 

'No I wont, promise. I love you mum, and I really miss you' I state.

'You too, honey. Hopefully see you soon ' she finally said and then the line went off.

I smiled and walked back to the dining room to see Sibel has also left.

 

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