He Loves Me Not

Paige has been torn over and over. Taken away from her family, lied to, and abused by her crazy boyfriend she is miserable. Will she be able to escape? Will she be reunited with her family? Will she be able to have a relationship after all she has been through? Will anything ever be the same?

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4. The Column

Paige's POV
__________

 

Drunk. 
Passed out asleep on the couch. 
Drunk. 
"Nate, baby." I prodded him with my foot and he slurred a few words. 
"Baby, you gotta get up." I insisted. In his half asleep stage, he grabbed a fistful of my hair and shoved me away. 
I sighed and began to clean up the mess his friends had made, taking three Advil pills for the unbearable pain. 
Red solo cups filled with alcohol were scattered around the tables and floors, spills everywhere. Chips were smashed into the floor and my untouched Chinese take out sat, smushed in a corner. 

"Paige?" He finally woke up when most of the cleaning was done. 
"Hey, baby." I walked over to him, not wanting to make him mad. 
"Who did that to you?" He demanded, seeing my beat up face. I remained silent and let him piece it together. 
Tears fell from his cheeks as he looked at me with huge eyes. 
"I-I didn't mean to, I was just so angry!" He whispered. 
"Hey, hey it's ok. I'm ok." I comforted him. I wasn't ok. 
"Good. Cuz do you know what I have planned?" Nate grinned, putting an arm on my waist, which was covered in bruises. 
"What?" I winced. 
"Well, tonight I was planing on fucking you until you couldn't stand." He laughed. 
Instead he beat me until I couldn't stand. 
"I'm a little sore... Maybe once my bruises fade. I want to make you happy and I won't be able to fully participate if I'm like this." I said. 
He nodded and kissed my forehead. 
"Clean up the rest, I was thinking an omelette for breakfast." He thought out loud. 
"Ok, Nate. Whatever you want." 
I watched him make his way to our bedroom and went back to cleaning his mess. 


***


The alarm went off at 6:00am exactly and I shot up to fix his breakfast, change, cover my bruises, and finish cleaning before he got up. 
I put on a pair of leggings and a long jumper to hide the purple marks and my heavy weight. After tossing my hair into a pony tail and taking out the trash, I faced my reflection. 
I took a step back. The girl who greeted me was not the one I was so used to seeing. 
Sure, I constantly was colored by his beatings, but never like this. I had a black eye, a busted lip, and bruises everywhere thinkable. I could barely move...
Wincing, I covered my hideous face in concealer and applied the rest of my make up. 
The note from Niall drifted out of my pocket... A sign. 
I picked it up and then went out back. Under our flower potter, I hid the note for later and went to make Nate's breakfast before he stirred. 

"Have a good day! Arrest people." I kissed Nate's cheek and hugged my torso tightly, watching as he drove off. 
Finally. Alone. 
I gathered ice, bandages, and other medical supplies to try and fix my wounds. 
Lifting off my shirt, I saw the blotted purple spots covering my skin. Without thinking, I got up and ran to the bathroom, spew shooting into the toilet. 
Fat. 
Ugly. 
Weak. 
Stupid. 
Whore. 
Rude. 
Inconsiderate. 
I scolded myself and flushed my bile down the drain, not standing looking at it any longer. Yes, I was bulimic, anorexic, and beaten. It wasn't healthy, but it was my life in three short words. 
When I began dating Nate, it was all so different. He loved me and I was head over heels for him. We moved in together and that was when he started getting aggressive and controlling. He would call me fat and ugly, pretty soon I was agreeing with him and making myself vomit. 
"Eat something." I whispered to myself, knowing I was going to faint. 
I ripped a granola bar in half and slowly nibbled on one portion of it, poking my ugly, bruised, fat stomach. 
Bandages were placed over all my cuts and ice was put against everywhere I hurt... Which was everywhere. 


***


Buzzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzz. Buzzzzz. 
I frowned and grabbed my phone off the counter, tearing my eyes from the TV. 
"Liam?" I whispered, reading the caller ID.  
I hadn't talked with him in months... Not since he made it onto the XFactor. 
With a shaky hand, I answered. 
"Liam?" I asked. 
His familiar voice answered, "Hey sweetie, how are you?" 
"Uh-fine?" I lied, confused why he was calling me so randomly. 
"I heard about you from one of my good friends." I could tell he was frowning. 
"What about me?" 
"Nate." He stated plainly. 
"H-how do you know about us?" I shook, not wanting him to worry. 
"Paige, you're my baby sister! He's beating the shit out of you and you stay!" Liam roared over the phone. 
"Li-" 
"Don't. Don't try and tell me you're ok." Liam sighed. 
"Please Liam. You don't need to worry about me." 
"I'm not in England right now, but otherwise I would come find you and get you away from him." 
"Liam-" my voice broke as I began to cry. 
"What? Paige is he there? Are you alright?" He began freaking out. 
I sniffled and whispered, "No, I'm alone. It just hurts." 
"I wish I could be there and hug you right now." 
"I do too." I nodded. 
Static tore over the line and disrupted my conversation. 
"Liam?" I yelled onto the phone, but the line was lost...
How did he know about Nate? 
I frowned and didn't call him back, knowing that he was busy with the XFactor.

At ten I went to work. I was currently working at VogueUK as a column writer. 
"Hey Becky." I waved at the intern as I checked in and went to my office. 
People here were used to my bruises, and stopped asking how I got them. 
"Paige, I got a few things I need you to do." My boss knocked on my door. 
"Yeah, sure." I nodded, clearing some of my desk space. 
"So your story last week was to die for. Hats hats hats!" Linda chuckled. I blushed and thanked her. 
"But, we want a deeper story this week." She continued. 
"Doesn't Jane usually write those?" I frowned, confused. 
"Yes, but I wanted to give you a shot." She carefully said. 
I swallowed and pulled out some Advil and my water bottle. 
"What would I write about?" I asked, swallowing the reddish pills. 
"Um, I'm not sure how to approach this..." Linda gulped. 
She looked so nervous... Anxious. 
I encouraged her to continue. 
"Well, does Nate read your column?" She changed subject. 
I frowned, not liking talking about him behind his back.
"No, he says he doesn't want to read girly things." I said quietly. 
"Well, we all know he beats you, but you continue to be faithful." Linda confessed. 
I felt my eyes widen and I nervously bit my lip. 
No. I wouldn't be able to do it. 
I would never be able to explain the details of my relationship. 
"Would you write a story about your relationship? It will have a good spot and will be mentioned on the cover." My boss looked at me. 
I was practically hyperventilating. 
"It will help girls know that this stuff happens, that it isn't just them." Linda insisted. 
"Do you know what he would do to me if he knew I wrote it?" I snapped, I was actually allowed to argue with her because I was a respected writer in the office.
"It would be anonymous and if you want you can write it as if you interviewed someone. It will stay between us, no one else knows in coming to you about this." She held my hand gently. 
I took in a huge breath and squeezed my eyes shut, thinking it through. 
"Paige, picture what this could do, I'll give you until the end of the day to decide." She said, patting my leg then leaving. 
Write about clothes, yes. 
Write about Nate...?
I sighed and cleaned up my papers from my last project and looked at my current one. 
It was practically done, I was writing a piece about the new style of patterned leggings. 
I set the images in place, fixed the text, then sent it to the editors to be reviewed. 


***


Pulling out a notebook from my big, mahogany, desk, followed by a mechanical pencil, I started thinking.
Could I do it?
He would kill me if he found out...
Could I do it?

"Where would I begin..." I whispered to myself. 
I was going to do it. 
I was going to write about my current relationship all the way from the time we first met. 

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