The Best of Movellas

A collection of reviews on some of Movellas' greatest stories, poems and other work. As well as reviewing your work this is a great way to get all those 'undiscovered gems' discovered and shown to a wider audience! If you want us to do a review on your work please leave a comment on the bottom saying so. But if you do, you have to be open to criticism but we promise that the criticism will not attack you personally.
THIS IS FOR UNDISCOVERED GEMS, so your story will need to be within the boundaries we have set. (Sorry guys if yours isn't, but we're trying to help out people whom's stories need recognising because they haven't yet) So...
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2. Orbus -By TheFuzz

Orbus

by TheFuzz

Category: Science Fiction

Link: http://www.movellas.com/en/book/read/201305232142029513


 

Published: 23rd May 2013

(All the numbers given below are for the Sunday 2nd June 2013.)

Likes: 9

Favs: 4

Views: 155

Rating: G

*CURRENTLY ON-GOING STILL (on the first chapter -Sunday 2nd June 2013) *

Blurb...

"Aeryn Miller has found herself at her dream job after weeks of arduous training and four consecutive days of examinations at the Orbus Practical Research Facility. When Aeryn discovers Project (Name Pending), an expedition to an underground lake in the Antarctic, she has to fight her way to the top in order to get herself on the team. But Project (Name Pending) is more than she could ever have imagined, more than anyone could have imagined.

The year is 2101 and we are not alone. There is a creature... beneath the ice."

Review:

This is definitely the story for all those science fiction lovers out there!

So far TheFuzz has only got up to Chapter 1 of her story so far but you can already tell its going to be BIG! Her storyline though unfinished, seems very mythical and scary with a spooky creature hiding beneath the ice of a underground lake. Her first chapter focuses in on the main character and gives you the sense of her personality and you catch a glimpse of how competitive she is getting over getting into this mysterious 'Orbus' project. You discover how being on the project is dangerous yet how she still wants to get onto it which makes you question what has perhaps happened or not happened in her past to make her feel like throwing all caution to the wind and risking her life in this way. 

Chapter 1 introduces a few characters like the child-like Malcolm who you know are going to be a key part in this story. The mechanical world around the main character Aeryn does indeed give you the sense of the futuristic 2101 world which I am looking forward to seeing a lot more of in the future (ha ha 'future' -sorry excuse my child-like humour) chapters. You get a little look at the world she is in currently, but not too much that you are overwhelmed and can't take it all in. However I do think that perhaps a little more details like adjectives etc are needed to get the reader completely into the mind set of the main character.

You get the sense the Aeryn is a very controlled person but tends to judge people by the way she judges Malcolm. I'm looking forward to learning more about her character though! TheFuzz has a great technique in the way she writes as she is not revealing too much which makes the reader want to 'read on'. I'm also very much looking forward to finding out what this CREATURE is!!! Dun...Dun....DUN!!!!! The suspense is killing me!!! Is it some sort of alien? Or a monster? What does it look like? Does it have the outer appearance of a human or perhaps some kind of fish maybe? The storyline from what we know in the blurb seems very complex and even though there are some things that are still 'pending' (like the names of the projects and so forth) it still seems like there is a lot to it and seems much different from any other kind of story I've come across before. 

One of the things though in this first chapter that I think could be improved (there aren't many things that I think need to be improved upon) are a few grammatical mistakes (some of which have already been taken care of) and also the text messages sent which don't seem slang enough to be proper text messages and seem to be too grammatically correct. Just my opinion. :)

Overall though, I really am looking forward to reading more and I fully recommend this to both guys and girls but it is probably a bit more suited (because of the storyline) to people above 13 years old, but feel free to prove me wrong! This story is seriously good and I'm sure you guys will all enjoy it as much as I have too!!! :)

*

Comments made by her fans...

"Funny only discovered Orbus today, I agree it's a great the first chapter. The author is really good at describing the main character but also the futuristic setting making it feel ordinary for the character, but still a little fantastic for us living in the present."

- John Bryan

"This is probably one of the best reads ever. including professional published books! The detail is so vivid it makes you see the story properly.A little confusing but i think it adds to the the excitement of the story. Amazing! Truly!"

-IvoryStar17

*

Review by: ToryB 

Thanks guys for reading! If you want your movella to be the one we do the next review on; please comment below!!! :)

Till next time :)

 

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