The Best of Movellas

A collection of reviews on some of Movellas' greatest stories, poems and other work. As well as reviewing your work this is a great way to get all those 'undiscovered gems' discovered and shown to a wider audience! If you want us to do a review on your work please leave a comment on the bottom saying so. But if you do, you have to be open to criticism but we promise that the criticism will not attack you personally.
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9. May Under a Cherry Tree, by Rachy

May Under a Cherry Tree

By Rachy


Category: Romance


Published: 12/05/2013

Likes: 5

Favs: 2

Views: 60

Comments: 4

Rating: G


On-Going story


Jenna Indison, the girl with such, long blonde hair it reaches her waist, the girl with the green-blue eyes. Jenna, the girl who seeks attention. Ella-Maie Price, the girl with the brown hair and ringlets hanging at the bottom, the girl with such dark eyes it's hard to tell where the pupils start. Ella-Maie, the shy girl who prefers to hide her secrets from Jenna. But when Ella-Maie finds out her secret tugged behind Jenna, coated with caramel and eyes like the ocean, maybe there's no point to hide this time




So. I'm now writing a review for a book that I really, really liked, as weird as it seems. You know, most guys will never, ever read a girl friendship story. I'm one of those weird exceptions. Ok, here it goes:


Chapter 1

Oooh! An epigraph! Interesting…

All first chapters serve as introductions, and this one seems to set the tone quite well, with a lovable introvert narrator, what seems to be her wild, superficial counterpart (so far…), and a character to create conflict. The author portrays and emphasizes the differences between Ella-Maie (EM) and Jenna within the former’s inner thoughts, with a couple funnies here and there (Some between parentheses), that give the story a lighthearted touch.

There is  some uneven, choppy writing in here, (I personally hate it when you start two dialogues with ”Oh” {even if they’re different kinds of Ohs}) but they are nothing, the comparisons between EM and Jenna are strong enough that you get what she means. Being an introvert guy myself, I can’t help but empathize with EM and her inner conflicts, and Jenna seems so superficial in this chapter, that one can’t help but think of her as an antagonist, but wait and see…

One little thing: names, names, names. Naming a character can be an excruciating thing to do, and sometimes your never satisfied. Double names are risky, and Ella-Maie (although it does seem to fit her personality) is an awkward name to read constantly (if you’re the author, don’t take it too hard, it just annoyed me a little).


Chapter 2

Another epigraph. Again something that EM’s mother used to say, I wonder what’s going on there?


Urgh. Geography. Blaagh. God-who-I-don’t-believe-in, EM is just like me.

In this second chapter we meet Jenna’s crush (Oooh, teenage love), and newbie Robynn (again careful with names, the double n at the end made me think it was a typo).


(OK, guy-moment here. Do girls really talk that much about their hair? I don’t know if it’s normal or if its just the kind of girls in the story. Then they get dirty, so do they really care that much about their hair and appearance? AAAH girls are confusing.)


Robynn is a soft spoken girl, who happens to “steal” EM from Jenna, forcing the latter to pair up with her crush, which is a terrible thing because of course she doesn’t want everybody to figure out that she has a crush on him and AAH. This leads to Jenna have a loud argument with EM (again, she sounds super annoying, and boastful, and self centered, et cetera).  Again, EM’s inner thoughts contribute a lot to our understanding of what is happening in the story. Her submissive attitude towards Jenna, and her defense of Robynn help thicken the plot.


Chapter 3


Mater mea quam in caelum  est! Its killing me to know what’s going on with EM’s mother!

Plot development in its entirety, I didn’t laugh much this chapter, but I understood that the author had to keep things moving, with EM talking more to Robynn and starting another argument with Jenna. Pretty good ending for the chapter, leaves you craving for more (although a physical description of Mia {EM’s sister} is missing).


This chapter reminds me of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, so if anyone out there is a fan, they should probably check this out

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