The Best of Movellas

A collection of reviews on some of Movellas' greatest stories, poems and other work. As well as reviewing your work this is a great way to get all those 'undiscovered gems' discovered and shown to a wider audience! If you want us to do a review on your work please leave a comment on the bottom saying so. But if you do, you have to be open to criticism but we promise that the criticism will not attack you personally.
THIS IS FOR UNDISCOVERED GEMS, so your story will need to be within the boundaries we have set. (Sorry guys if yours isn't, but we're trying to help out people whom's stories need recognising because they haven't yet) So...
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Thanks everyone! :)

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AA

10. He is the End of Love and Laughter-Mirlotta

      He is the End of Love and Laughter-Mirlotta


Name: He is the End of Love and Laughter

Author: Mirlotta

Published: 05/05/13

Genre: Paranormal and supernatural

Chapters: 4

Comments: 13

Approx: 9 minutes to read

Views: 226

Likes: 9

Faves: 7

Rating: G

Link:  http://d3aeoi5a6g6m4p.cloudfront.net/image/movella/201305051742078449/cover/160/200/true/true/F9F9FA/6e4d46e4e7d6bf88b20446ed82c25244

Blurb: 1) I am dead. 2) He rules over us, forcing any captured resistance members into his herald. 3) I'm part of this resistance - and I've been caught.

Review:

     This is a captivating story, and is written in a great style. The prologue is excellent, and Mirlotta starts by describing Death through the main, Arlena's, eyes. Arlena was once a member of the Resistance, but she has been caught, and will be sent to the river Styx, where she will meet Death. She knows that after she comes out of the river, she will have no idea who she was, but she is slightly satisfied that with her last piece of freedom, will be used staring into Death's eyes. After reading the prologue you will want to find out what happens next, and why Arlena is here in the first place. Once you begin reading chapter one, you start finding these answers.

    This story is written in first person, and it is easy to relate to Arlena. I think that the first paragraph in chapter one is amazing. It starts to explain Arlena's past, present and future. Mirlotta describes every scene incredibly, and uses some great writing techniques. Most of the story is in Arlena's head, so you really get to know her. 

     As you get into the story, a boy, Thanatos appears, and you find out that Arlena is in love with him. I think that Mirlotta should describe Thanatos better, because you don't know much about what he was like in the past. All that you know is that he is fairly shy, and part of the resistance. Soon he disappears, and Arlena is devastated. You do find out a lot about Arlena's past though, and Mirlotta does a great job of showing Arlena's feelings. In chapter 2, we find out, that although Death appears at every 'spirits' death, he doesn't want to come to Arlena's...

    I recommend this Movella to anyone with a pulse :) It's a great read, and really enjoyable. Read it now, you'll be glad :D

Feedback from readers:

Lynette Ferreira: I loved your story! It was well written, and had my attention throughout. Really good. Stiff competition :o) 

Hellohihi: Wow

さくら❀: Your story is perfect! We're both on the same theme of the underworld and Greek mythology. The depiction of Ted as a 'gormless soul' was excellent. As for the drawing, I love how reflective you made her eyes look. However, your proportions are slightly off. Her jawline needs to be extended just a tad, her nose is misaligned and the shading on her lips is so dark, it looks almost like she's wearing thick lipstick. Proportions are always in measurement. So anyway if you look at a pencil portrait like this (how I wish I could draw like this)

 

  You'll notice that the edges of the lips are actually highlights :) Study the shapes of shadows on the face and mimic them :) Anyway good luck :) Great work :)

 

S.J. Hyde: This is really good and keep writing. Hope u win

Cocoa Red: This is fantastic, the whole storyline is really compelling. Best of luck in the competition :)

 

 

Review by Roxy :} 

 

 

 

 

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