The Best of Movellas

A collection of reviews on some of Movellas' greatest stories, poems and other work. As well as reviewing your work this is a great way to get all those 'undiscovered gems' discovered and shown to a wider audience! If you want us to do a review on your work please leave a comment on the bottom saying so. But if you do, you have to be open to criticism but we promise that the criticism will not attack you personally.
THIS IS FOR UNDISCOVERED GEMS, so your story will need to be within the boundaries we have set. (Sorry guys if yours isn't, but we're trying to help out people whom's stories need recognising because they haven't yet) So...
UNDER 500 views
UNDER 20 likes and favs
Thanks everyone! :)


4. Falling for Insanity -By CarsonFaircloth

Falling for Insanity

By CarsonFaircloth

Category: Mystery and Suspense


Published: 29th May 2013

(All the numbers given below are for the Tuesday 4th June 2013.)

Likes: 5

Favs: 5

Views: 77

Rating: Y

*CURRENTLY ON-GOING STILL (Currently on chapter 5 -Tuesday 4th June 2013) *


"Jessica Lahmer did not kill Ricardo Montanez. Jessica Lahmer killed a monster. And she's been admitted to St. Clementine's Clinic for Mental Ailments ever since. Jessica hasn't felt any real emotions in years, and remembering the names of her doctors is her biggest struggle. But when The Helping Hand Program steps in, Jessica finds herself in the position of being a prime candidate -which can only mean she has been deemed safe enough to allow an outsider access to her day-to day life. Her helping hand comes in the form of Jack Dawes, a boy with black hair, brown eyes, and a curious gaze that's half afraid and half wondering. Jessica has been told that one day, all patients find their trigger, their anchor back to their emotions; for her, it means earning back the life she's been shoving away to forget the past she needs to remember. Now she may be faced with her greatest fear, the trigger she never wanted.

But will Jack Dawes be able to save the girl who lost everything?"


 This story so far contains so much suspense you will literally be on the edge of your seat.

 (Or perhaps even falling off your seat all together -Ha)

 From the first sentence of this story (prologue) I became entranced. 

 Starting with some dialogue ("First question.") was a really effective way to go and CarsonFaircloth manages to catch the readers attention and it almost seems like she is 'throwing you in at the deep end' without actually overloading you with details, so much so that you'd probably drown in a sea of words. No. CarsonFaircloth uses that dialogue to force you into Jessica's (the main character) situation as if you, the reader, are indeed Jessica. 

 The first scene is set in a room where she is being questioned by a man about how she is and I think the way CarsonFaircloth subtly fits in the bit about the murder into the bunch of questions the man asks is brilliant. Not too over the top and makes the audience almost 'startled' by the sudden change in the direction of question. The reactions the writer uses too are very realistic which is great. The reactions aren't overdone. It shows the withdrawn way the girl is feeling- detached from her emotions and almost bored. 

 I also think her story goes at a good pace too. Not too fast like some stories where everything is going on practically in one chapter. I like the way she doesn't introduce too much information about the main character straightaway and keeps the balance of suspense just right. It makes the reader want to carry on so they can learn more.

 The character 'Jack Dawes' seems really interesting too and I like the way she doesn't notice everything about him straight away but rather slowly. First the writer talks about the basics how his hair is black and his eyes brown and then day by day she notices something different about his appearance. Starting to notice the smaller details. Things that don't generalise him, or making him part of the crowd but more of those small details that definite him as an individual. This almost makes it sound like she is waking up from an emotionless slumber and slowly focusing in on the world around her. Focusing in on Jack. You can tell from the text that Jack is going to be very important to Jessica in the future. 

 I'm also looking forward in the text to slowly learning more about the main character as she slowly lets her emotions show. And I have high expectations (no pressure, none at all -ha) for the actual chapter where she finds her 'trigger' which will unleash the beast. (Just a saying, she's not actually going to sprout fur, claws and a nozzle and start walking on four paws guys!) I just know that that chapter is going to be very emotional and its going to have the WOW factor. 

 I think that this story is already getting pretty complex even though its technically only just at the 5th chapter. So just imagine what it'll be like once its got 8, 10, 15 chapters and so on! I really also want to know how she got in the mental hospital in the first place. Did she really murder that man? All these questions are making my imagination run wild!!! Aaaaaah!!! The story gives you short slivers of what is in her past, for example when it says 'Then maybe I wouldn't still be dreaming about her face, the face that still haunts me.' on chapter 5. I love the way CarsonFaircloth is so sneaky in the way she places this little bits of information about the girl's past. It makes the reader practically gagging for more.

 There doesn't seem to be any mistakes either within the text, grammatically or anything else, but I think though that maybe her surroundings need a little more detail and adjectives so to create more scenery around the character. But this I guess is more personal preference.

 Don't miss out on this fantastic read guys. I would totally recommend it to people aged 13 or older, and even though the main character is a girl, don't let this put you off reading it all dudes out there. Its not a 'chick flick' or anything like that! I fact I bet you it would be right up your street with all this mystery, drama and a secret murder... Mwah ha ha!!! I promise you won't be disappointed.

However I have placed it as being 13 years or older as I personally think there is going to be quite a lot of emotional distress coming up in the next chapters and I don't want all the kiddy-winks crying. However perhaps I am being a little bit silly myself saying that as I personally end up crying at the silliest things too so in which case I'll probably be sobbing at the end of this too. Even if it ends up not being sad anyway. 

Read it now guys!!! :)


Comments made by her fans...


- DimplesObsession:)

You're really, really talented! There was no grammatical errors in there, or spelling mistakes or anything like that. I really enjoyed reading this. Please update soon! :) "

- EllzBellz


Review by:  ToryB 

Thanks for reading this really long review guys. I'm sorry if I ended up waffling in it. I tend to do that. If you have any movellas you want us to look at please say so at the bottom so we can take a look and then perhaps go on to do a review chapter on!!!  

 TTFN (Taa, Taa for now) everyone!!! :)

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...