sad poems.

some sad poem things.

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1. scars.

I never really classified myself as ‘depressed’,

I knew I wasn’t happy,

I knew there was a reason the razor slit my wrist each night,

But never did I think I was depressed.

 

I finally believed it one night,

I was lying in my bed,

In tears as always,

Miserable thoughts swimming through my head,

Not letting me escape,

I soon realised that this had gone on too long,

I had realised I was actually depressed,

None of that ‘I had a bad night’ bullshit anymore.

 

My days were dark and gloomy,

My eyes were empty and colourless,

My friends were distant and judgmental,

I wasn’t so happy anymore,

 

It had all built up inside me,

All the anger,

All the sadness,

All the words directed towards me,

I never believed them before,

But now they’re all that’s in my head,

I start to believe them,

I start to realise what they’re saying is true,

I wasn’t so happy anymore.

 

I fill up the bathtub,

Position myself in the water,

I think of all that was said to me,

Only to reach up to grab my razor blade on the counter,

I sketch the word ‘perfect’ on my left arm,

And lines down my legs,

Not caring about the precision,

Not caring about what they’ll think,

Finally,

I am relaxed,

 

Maybe I am happy…

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