The Secret Affair (A Kellin Quinn fanfiction)

I ran. I ran and never expected to look back. But it's hard to not look at your past, especially when Kellin Quinn was included. When you ruined his marriage. When he isn't over you.

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1. Where It All Starts

I sat in the old, broken down bus. It smelt of sulfur and mud, and I could barely breathe. My iPod blasted Fire by Sleeping With Sirens. It was the first time in a month I had listened to Kellin's voice. It calmed me. I was riding out to the middle of nowhere on this crappy bus, and it broke down. Right now me and four other passengers sat here, waiting for them to fix it. I was in Kansas at the time, so the moisture in the air made sweat bead down my neck. The aroma of oil and gasoline suddenly replace the musty scent. We all exchanged looks, before some man ordered us off the bus. I had an old bag filled with my needs slung over my shoulder. It strapped right across the chest, and swung down by my hip. I also carried with me a worn, black, leather guitar case. It held a gorgeous acoustic guitar in it, along with an aged pick. My baby, in other words. As I leaped down to the dirt road, and dust exploded from the impact of my black, original, knee high converse, I switched to another Sleeping With Sirens song. If You Can't Hang. The air got caught in my throat. I continued to walk away from the bus. I came to a spot in some wheat field, and sat. I didn't mind if my favorite pair of torn, ragged jeans got dirty. I was wearing a Asking Alexandria shirt, and it fir very loosely. The sleeves had been longer, but were ripped and torn off roughly. My black hair wasn't in the usual style. It was much softer, and straight. And flat. It was pulled into a careless ponytail. I didn't take time to  put on my extensions, so it was much thinner than usual and also not nearly as long. My pale skin was hit by the little sunlight that escaped from behind the grey, stormy clouds that loomed over the country side. I pursed my pinkish lips, they were also pretty pale. But they were still glossy somehow. My icy blue eyes looked around at the other people. Two men were rushing around, trying to start up the bus. No one had a signal. So, we couldn't call for help. How wonderful! I sighed, frustrated, not only with the situation, but the world. Life wasn't fair, now was it? I glanced around once more to see and take in who I was traveling in. There was one other woman, she looks like she was nearly 30. She had a 5 year old daughter, who was laying down on her mother's suitcase, drifting away to sleep. She had a barbie backpack next to her, and then a smaller, pale pink suitcase stood up next to the plain black one the girl was laying on. The woman had light, brown hair. It was put in a tight bun, showing nearly gray hairs. She had on a tight, black business skirt with a white blouse. Her blouse was tucked into the skirt. She had on plain black, flats. Thin-framed glasses stood on her nose, and she had somewhat golden eyes. They seemed dull. Her daughter was a true beauty though. She had chocolate brown hair that went down to her mid-back. It had a pure, natural wave. As of right now, the right side of her face was laced with hair as the other side has a tight braid that was pinned back. Her eyes really were a light , brilliant golden shade. She came up to my hip, and I was only 5'5". She had the perfect tan, unlike her mother, who had very light toned skin. Her body was already perfect for her age. She had just enough thickness and thinness in all the right parts. She was adorable. The little girl was wearing a cotton dress that was pink and white plaid. She had a small, short white jacket on, the sleeve barely going over her shoulder. it stopped right under where her breasts would be. She had on simple flat, white shoes. They had a strap across the top of her foot, and small, pink flowers covered that strap. Her gentle face was softened in her sleep. I glanced at the other people. Two men were on board too, along with the driver. The first man, who wasn't helping, wore a baseball cap, stained t shirt, and faded jeans. Simple, and effective for such a journey. The other man had on some thin hoody, with newer jeans. His hair was dark and long. The driver was bald, with a uniform on. He wore hideous sneakers, and balanced a constantly burning cigarette. A light breeze swam through the wheat, making it waver. I unplugged my headphones from my iPhone and decided to make a short video to send to Harmony when I got back to a town with a signal. I sighed, and clicked to my camera/video recorder. I hesitated, but finally let my hovering thumb press record. I sharply took in a breath.

"Hey Harmony! I miss you lots! The bus broke down, but oh well. It is Friday the 13th so....Yeah. Anywhore, how's life?!" My voice cut through the silence. Nobody took interest, so I stood up and walked a bit deeper into the wheat field.

"I seriously miss my best friend.." My voice was weak. It was slightly cracked from neglect of any water.

"You know, I have ignored Kellin for a month now. I still don't feel better. I still feel sickened. You are the only person I keep contact with...Don't fail me, okay? Alright. I miss Skyping you, and hearing you fangirl for Asking Alexandria and Black Veil Brides. But, I miss singing with you. Has it been very stormy out there? I just have way to many questions..." I sighed at the end. I had been away from home for a month now, also. I left so I could keep away from Kellin Quinn. Yes, the lead singer of Sleeping With Sirens. I know what you're thinking, 'He has a wife and child!' but truthfully, you don't know the half of it. My name is Brooklyn Mackenzie, I am 23, and a proud artist on the run. Music and art are the two things I commit too. Well, once upon a time I committed to Kellin. I bit my bottom lip, looking into the camera.

"I still love Kellin. But his daughter and wife needs him..." I had ran off from Kellin the minute I made a mistake. I had sex with him. I kissed him, and called him mine. He had an affair on his wife, with me. Now he is everywhere I go. His memory is lingering in my presence. Breathing in slowly, I tapped the end button on the phone, and shoved it into the stretched pocket of my jeans. I made my way back to the bus.

"Well, it is getting late and this mother fucker won't work! Face it Joe, we won't be going anywhere tonight unless we walk!" The man who was helping shouted.

"I'll be damned if I leave this bus!" Joe, the driver, retorted.

"And we will be damned if we stay here! Be sensible for once!" The man shouted once again.

"Be sensible?! Think Mike, how is walking in the night sensible?! I don't reckon it is!" Joe raised his voice at Mike.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed. I was fed up with the argument. It was pointless, and listening to it made me cringe.

"Will you all stop yelling?" A voice spoke calmly. I turned on my heel to face the last man. How was he so....so...in the right mind? I didn't have a true term for this man, just knowing he could be calm at this moment made me sick.

"Why? So we can sit here and freeze our asses off? Stay here to die? Is that what you want? Because who the hell knows what's out there, out here?" I spoke coolly, right into his face.

"Nobody wants those thoughts running through their head, now do they?" He used the same tone as I did, and didn't falter as my glare increased.

"Watch your back, pretty boy. I am NOT in the mood to deal with jack offs like you!" I sneered at him.

"Just back off Lucas.." Joe sighed.

"Sure!" Lucas yelled while turning away. And I had to deal with that attitude? This should be fun.

"Katie..." The one other woman whispered to the little girl. She gently shook her until her precious little eyelids fluttered open.

"Mmm mommy?" She was obviously soft-spoken. Her voice so......pure. I smiled sadly, wondering if there was a way to keep some a gem so perfect and young.

"You have been sleeping a while now, and wanted you to have something to eat," Her mom smiled while handing her a small snack. They both sat there, eating. Wow, I hadn't ate or drank for a long time. But, it was because I didn't really come prepared. Just walked away from the mess me and Kellin made. From my family, From my best friend. From my life.

"You hungry?" The woman asked. I snapped out of my trance and game her a sad excuse of a grin.

"A little. But you guys should keep it for yourself." With each word, I regretted. But this woman saw through the lie. She patted the spot next to her. I slowly moved over there with my stuff.

"I know you are lying. Why are you traveling all alone? I'm Lee by the way," Lee spoke while giving a sincere, warm smile to me. I returned it, and she handed me a simple sandwich. I accepted gratefully.

"Drama, Life wasn't being fair so I ran away from it." I whispered.

"I understand. Katy and I left because her father was.....violent." My heart broke at those words. Innocent little Katy? God letting a man lay his hands on her? That wasn't right, someone should have been there.

"How violent..?" I said, still in shock.

"He attempted to beat Katy, did twice, but I stood up for her." My heart broke again. I wish I could do something, but I couldn't. I awkwardly gave her a hug from the side.

"I barely even know you, but I can tell neither of you deserved it. You are a nice woman, Lee, with such a lovely daughter. Forget him and your past and just restart.." I told Lee. I wanted for someone to say them to me so may times. I could only hope that was what she wanted to hear.

"Thank you, so much.." She instantly returned my hug. I finally took a bite from my sandwich, and held back a moan. It was very good, I realised how much I missed eating.

"I never caught your name, you know, dear." She said with a big smile.

"Brooklyn Mackenzie." I said, not needing to pretend happiness.

"Beautiful name!" She also took a bite of her sandwich. I was already done, and thankful to have some food in my stomach. It was uncalled for, but Lee handed me a water bottle. I smiled a thanks, and took a sip. It was Heaven. My lips were instantly moistened and so was my throat. As it got darker and darker, I got to know Lee. I also spent time with Katy. I instantly felt like her big sister, and her my little sister. Night finally came, and Joe gave in. He allowed us to sleep in the bus, and a thunder storm came along. Katy insisted on sleeping with me, and Lee just slept in the seat behind us. But when lightening flashed in the distance, Katy whimpered. I gently shushed her, and brushed the hair out of her face. We were curled up in my huge, black, zip-up hoody. Finally, Katy was silent. Until She had an unusual request.

"Sing for me, please?" Her voice was in a soft whisper. I remembered singing to my niece. I took in a breath.

"What song?" I answered carefully.

"Something One Direction..." She giggled. I smiled at her innocence.

"What about.....What Makes You Beautiful?" I laughed. I barely knew their music, let alone cared for it. I love Sleeping With Sirens MUCH MORE. But Katy was the kind of girl you couldn't say no to. She nodded and I softly sang the lyrics. All the way through, she had such a big smile. But never fell asleep.

"You have a pretty voice.." She complimented.

"Not as pretty as you!" I gasped. She blushed and hid her face.

"Sing another song" She whispered. I breathed in, remembering an Eminem song.

"Can I choose?" I said, raising my eyebrows.

"Mhm!" She hummed. I laughed a little, getting enough breath as the words flowed out my mouth.

Some days i sit, staring out the window 
Watchin' this world pass me by 
Sometimes i think theres nothing to live for 
I almost break down and cry

I sang along to 'Hailie's Song' by Eminem. Katy recognised the song and smiled.

I began singing again.

Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders 
Everyone's leaning on me 
Cos sometimes it feels like the world's almost over 
But then she come back to me 

Katie was asleep. I gently kissed her forehead, getting ready to sleep myself. I hummed along to the song ringing through my head. All of a sudden, my voice wasn't the only thing humming. I sat up a bit. My heart stopped. My insecurities could eat me alive. Lights were blinding me. A huge truck was out of control. And it was heading for us. It all makes sense when i look into her eyes. The song didn't stop. I instantly pulled Katie close, just as we were hit. Joe was thrown from his driver's seat. Instant death. The guy Mike was thrown into the back, and wasn't breathing very visibly. Lee flew out of the bus, landing in the wheat. Only one other instant death, Lucas. Metal crushed him. Katie and I, still hugging each other,  screaming, also flew out. She landed on me, though. Metal and glass was flying everywhere. But Katy was hit. Glass stabbed her stomach, not going very deep. But still. I instantly froze, and picked her up to run. My bag still at my side. I ran, to Lee. She was gone. Katie started crying, telling her mommy to wake up. I suddenly kneeled beside her, screaming at Lee to wake up, too. Glass stabbed my back, heated metal skimming it and leaving burnt skin. I cradled Katy, as she slowly bled. I layed her down to be comfortable, and ran to grab her bag. I found it surprisingly, along with my guitar. When I came back, I got out my guitar, and started playing. Playing to Moments by One Direction. She realised the song and smiled.

"It's going to be okay..." She gurgled as I sang the lyrics. I trembled and couldn't stand thinking how God could dare try to take Katy's life. I finally finished. I grabbed Katy's hand, and held her close again.

"Stay awake Katie, you can't leave me. Don't.....just...stay. I won't let anyone hurt you.." I managed to choke out before crying again.

"Do you think I'd ever marry Lou?" She said randomly. I grinned.

"Only if you keep fighting. Okay?" I murmured into her hair. Her breathing was rapid, slowing heartbeat. I was bleeding rapidly too, and was instantly dizzy.

"Brooke?" Katie screamed as I fell over, and she just curled up against me. My life was playing behind my eyelids as Moments continued to string out in my head. As I felt myself fall, I made a joke of it all. No more pain. No more hurt. No more Kellin, Harmony, Lee, Katy. Now Katy would stay a precious gem, never be burned or scarred. Kellin wouldn't worry of me. Harmony could find a better best friend. My life flashed through my head. Being fourteen, hating my mom. Losing my dad. Having my first love. Meeting Kellin. Just, everything. Like watching a preview of my life from 3rd person point of view. And then it hit. I wasn't dead yet. Yet.

Neither is Katy. She is okay... My brain reminded me. I fought off the drag of Death. Everything got heavy. But it was for Katy........for Kellin.

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