Diary of Riley

Well uh....this story is about a the day to day ins and outs of a guy named Riley and how he deals with his mental and physical health issues. He lives with his partner Vor whom he loves most in the whole world and has his adopted sister and best friend by his side, together they help Riley to grow and survive life.

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2. Kaitlin Sunderson.

Vor wanted to wait at home while I went to pick up Kaitlin, I begged him to come because I hated clubs but he flat out refused by kissing my forehead and practically pushed me out the door with the car keys. I hardly ever drove, driving in London is nerve-racking without the added stress of being the 'most easy to scare' person, I mean I jumped when the doorbell rung....

10 and 12, check.

Rear view mirror, check.

Gas, check.

I breathed out slowly, Vor’s car smelt like him which on some level I’m sure made me calmer. “Dammit Vor.....Dammit Kaitlin..” With a silent prayer, I pulled out onto the road and within 10 minutes of driving, Kay gave me my first heart attack when she gave me a call to tell me she had gotten a taxi to my place and that she was with Vor. I came to a screeching halt at the side of the road and had a mini fit before turning around and heading back home.

 

“Kaaiiiittliinnn.......” I shrugged off my jacket, slamming the door behind me with the base of my boot. I was beyond pissed at this point, death rays seemed to literally shoot out of my eyes as I stormed through the kitchen. Vor was sitting very rigidly with a mess of dark brown hair splayed over his lap “Oh look, Riley’s back Kay...” He looked so relieved as if he had been stuck on an island for months and I was his rescue boat, he gripped Kay’s shoulders, pulling her upright and moved up so I could sit between them but I stood there, waiting for her to give me an apology. All she did was stare down at her shuffling feet, this went on for another five minutes until Vor stretched and said he was going to sleep and literally bolted into the bedroom.

“Kait....What the fuck....” I knew this wasn’t her fault, at the turbulent age of nineteen, Kaitlin was just finding her feet after a rather messed up puberty, it had not been easy for her. Although despite all she went through at that awkward time, she emerged a beautiful young lady. Even though right now, was not the best tribute to her. This was extremely out of character for her, it had me worried and I’m sure it showed on my face as I pulled a clip out of my pocket and clipped back her bangs so I could see her face, it looked like she had been crying, her usual pale skin was streamed with faint pink lines and her eyes were red. I pulled her to her feet, the first thing I noticed was her outfit which was not at all Kaitlin, she was a fashionable dresser, tonight she had on the sort of clothing you expect a club kid to wear what with the big frizzy hair, multi colored extension, torn everything and just plain whatthefuck-ness. Sighing, I went to hug her when a concentrated waft of cigarette smoke and booze burned my nostrils  “You’re an amazon without the heels why would you do this to me.” She laughed at the joke, the first response I got out of her since the phonecall “You know I’m not mad anymore, we were all young and stupid once.” I could hear Vor softly playing his guitar in our bedroom and so wished I could join him “Kay, stay here tonight alright. I will call Stennis to let him know...does he even know where you are ?”

“Yea, I said I would be out with friends.” She sniffed, rubbing her nose on my shoulder which made me cringe a little.

“Mm good, let’s get you into the bath, something to eat then bed yea ?”

Her boyfriend called us when I was in the midst of making her some soup and it took time to calm him down as I explained that I don’t know what exactly happened or why but she was safe now “Pick her up tomorrow morning if you wish, I will be here all day so whenever is fine.” Part of me wanted to blame and curse him down the phone but I knew that Kait was her own person with her own responsibilities but then again he should’ve known Kaitlin didn’t just go out on her own, especially dressed like that.

 

My head thumped against the confines of my skull, urging me to go close my eyes and rest. I had no idea what the time was, it couldn’t be too late but today had been strenuous even if I hated to admit it, I believed Vor realised this because he came out of our room and volunteered to run the bath for Kait and gave her a set of old pyjamas, the ones I used to wear when I was too self conscious to sleep with Vor in just a shirt or naked.  I was sitting outside the bathroom, waiting for Kait to be finished but I couldn’t stay awake for much longer, my knuckle rapped on the door twice “Kaayyy, I’m going to sleep sweets. You have the PJ’s and the sofa bed is pulled out. Make yourself anything if you get hungry okay.” I waited for her response, tapping on the wall with my nail. All I got was the sound of water sloshing around “Kay, answer please.”

“Alright, oh my gosh. I heard you.”

Teenagers. Sigh.

I quietly entered the bedroom, happy to see Vor reading and waiting for me. He pulled back the sheet and I creeped in, laying an arm around him and nuzzled his stomach. His energy was so comforting and warm that within seconds I was asleep.

 

That night I had a blissful wet dream, probably due to the sexual frustrations that had been built up during the day. So vivid and lucid, I could actually taste Vor’s lips, his hands over my hips and rear, embracing me in a delicate blanket of fiery affection. Even though I couldn’t see his face I could tell his touch anywhere, in my dreams, in the darkness, in a crowd. How could you not recognise something that had been yours since forever, even if it did take you a almost two decades to find it. In the midst of this lovely reverie, Vor’s voice tickled my ear which sent me into climax causing me to bolt up which dominoed to Vor bolting up “What’s wrong ? Bad dream?” His hand was was on my lower back, his thumb rotating against the curve. This simple contact made shiver. “Quite the opposite...” I bit down on my bottom lip, wondering if it would be wrong to do it with Kaitlin in the other room “Argh...” My love of Vor, everyone that knew me, knew how it was because I let it known that he was mine and vice versa but my love with Vor was a completely different thing, that was private. I couldn’t bring myself to do it with my little sister being so close, I doubt she would appreciate the sounds of our love making either.

“What was it then ?” Vor’s eyes, glinted in the darkness I could imagine the concern on his face.

“Nothing, I just had an....interesting dream.” I brought my hands to my face, muffling my voice out of slight embarrassment.

“Oh.....” He paused for a second “Ohhh I see, well...we can...if you want to.” He shifted, taking hold of my hair and giving it a tug, I moved with it letting his hand slip into my hair as our mouths met, both open and needy. “Vor....we can’t...I can’t. Not with Kay here....” I dropped my head onto his shoulder, breathing slow and deep in  an attempt to calm my racing heart.

“Well, we can if you be quiet for once.” I felt his diaphragm rumble as he chuckled.

“Well.....just...shut up....” My teeth playfully nipped at his neck and his arms pincered me against him as he retaliated by nibbling on my ear. A loud giggle erupted from my throat and we both froze, when there was no sound of Kait’s disturbance, Vor put a hand over my mouth and the other around my waist so he could move us at the same time. When my hands slid over his back, it dawned on me that he was shirtless. My lips stretched into a smile, I loved feeling his taut skin and the contours of his back and the sharpness of his hips. I ran my hands along his spine, using my fingertips to imprint every sensation of his skin into my mind.

He settled between my legs our groins pressed together and I revelled at sweet little kisses he placed on my neck. Every fibre of my being was screaming to stop, my sister was in the other room and every braincell to make my voice work. His hand was curled at the top of my head, the other behind my knee, raising my leg to his hip “Vor....tomorrow okay,  I promise.” I could only make a whisper as I blocked his kiss with my hand.

“Fine but don’t expect me to be this gentle.” He laughed menacingly, resting his head on my chest “Goodnight, Love. I adore you.”

 

The next morning Vor was up before me, he had gotten quite good at slipping out and away of my grip without waking me. I probably wouldn’t have woken up before evening if it wasn’t for Kaitlin, she had my mobile in her hand and told me it was my publisher. She had some work for me, it was a whole two months worth of work. Writing an article every week for some health and fitness magazine because the usual person had been fired. Health and fitness was not my thing but work is work, I took what I got given with no complaints. Even if it was shit.

“Kay, how did you sleep ?” I rubbed at my eyes, still tired from the lack of sleep.

“Fine thank you, you look like death and Voronwe has already left for work.” She was in the kitchen, picking apart a croissant, her finger greasy with the infused butter.

“Oh I do ? Man in the mirror much ?” I scoffed actually looking in the mirror that hung by the front door “Shit..I do look like death..” I had sunken in dark smudges under my eyes, which usually indicated that I was getting ill and as usual I had forgot to take my meds the day before. Remembering now, I went to the bathroom and took the pill organiser out from the drawer. These little pills, were supposed to help my body battle against the cocktail of deficiencies, viruses and anemia that constantly plagued my system and that’s leaving out the various mental issues. Yep, I hated these pills. I flipped open the little door that had “Thurs” on it in white typeset and picked up a little pale blue sugar coated pill, it was the smallest so I guessed it was probably for the mind. It was tiny and yet it could do so much, I popped it between my lips, swallowing it dry before getting a glass of water for the bigger ones. One by one I downed them, feeling them hitting the bottom of my empty stomach.


 

I danced into the living space, feeling like shit but of course this was not news to me more like a daily occurrence so to me it was just my normal status of living.

Most people would say "I'm fine thanks." If you asked how they were, my neutral was "I'm ill, thanks.You?" My friends had gotten used to my poor health and they always

gave me tips on how to be fine, like I didn't know. Due to this and my childish attitude, despite me being twenty five I was still treat like the baby of the group even

though, really my sister was the youngest. Kaitlin was curled up on the sofa bed, probably sleeping off the alcohol right about now the effects of the poison

would be hammering at her head. I smiled, crawling in beside her and she turned snuggling against my chest as I pushed the hair out of her face to give her a kiss on

her forehead.

"So warm." She clung onto my shirt.

"Mmm, remember when we were kids and after the bath we used to rush into bed to get warm and then that awful nanny, what was her name. The fat one with the small head."

Kaitlin giggled I could feel her breath seep in through my t-shirt "Tamsin Fawwwwrester." She dragged out the word to annunciate our past nanny's tendency to talk

like an idiot just because she worked in a big house and thought she had to be posh.

"Yes that's the one. She used to yell at us not to sleep in the same bed since we were siblings." I chuckled giving her a squeeze as if defying the memory.

"Mhmm, look at us now Tamsin. Fifteen years on and we're still huddled in the same bed."

"Hmm, well then will you tell me about what happened last night and what the fuck you were thinking."

She sighed but nodded before explaining how she had a argument and she just wanted to get away so she asked one of her "Friends" to take her out, apparently they was just as shocked as I was. Most girls were threatened by her good looks and smarts so she didn't have much female camaraderie, even though she doesn't mind as I taught her that just because you're alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely, besides she still had me. She went on to say that somehow she didn't figure that she would probably end up how she did because she just happened to pick the holy grail of sluts to go out with and of course when they suggested that they all went to some party in Brighton, Kaitlin refused ended up alone and getting hit on by some randomer.

 

Drunk and without anyone, she called me out of desperation because she didn't want Stennis to find out. Stennis was a great guy with an amazing job as an architect but me being me and my sister's brother, I just couldn't bring myself to like him.Firstly when I first met him, I was sitting in a booth at a restaurant and I heard him remark "That dark guy sitting there in the black ?" I mean really, there were other defining features about me besides my dark skin, he even said one, the fact I was wearing black or it could have been my red hair or I don't know just why the skin geez.Secondly I couldn't believe he couldn't remember me for like an hour, we ran into each other when we were teenagers, he had been a git then too. Third of all he just stunk of "Upyourownass" complex and I hated that, though I let my feelings known as I do with just about everything, she was still with him which I could respect the guy was freaking dashing of course nothing compared to Vor but he has an English charm about him probably from years of inbreeding within that Yunos family blood line.

 

Not only that but he was the same age as me, which I did not appreciate, especially when as soon as she turned eighteen he asked her to move in with him. By now I had

resigned to the fact that this guy may well be my brother-in-law despite my four years worth of prayers that she found someone younger and less douchebag like but to no avail.

Just as our breathing became slower and deeper as we were about to drift off to sleep, that annoying knock came at the door making our eyes fly open. I rolled onto Kay's back

and off the bed flailing a hand at her complaint to open the door. And who else was it apart from the man himself, Stennis.

I stepped back,gesturing to the lump in the middle of the blankets, she was peeping making her look like a little exotic caterpillar with the dark sheets that were splashed

with splodges of neon color.

He nodded at me but didn't wait for my reaction which would've been a blank stare but I would have still liked to have been given the option ! He rushed over to Kay,

immediately scooping her up in his arms, his hands delicately angeling her face as if he was inspecting a expensive product that may or may not be damaged. Then his lips

were on hers, in between kisses he would say he was sorry but she was having none of it. She pushed him away, then wrapped herself up again.  For all his shortcomings, I was glad that he at least loved her. This was all I could ask for.

 

I left them to sort out their business it wasn't for me to pry into my sister's love life, nor did I want to. In my mind she was still that pure four year old girl

full of childlike wonder because she wasn't aware of how shit life was going to get for us, I remember when she came home, she followed me like a puppy despite my

frantic attempts to get away from her. I smiled at the memory as I got opened my closet wondering if I should even bother putting on day clothes. I decided not and just

had a quick clean up in the bathroom before putting on a fresh t-shirt and baggy pyjama bottoms much similar to the pair Kay was wearing.

 

Once the two had quietened down, I exhaled in relief I was going to go insane from their bickering I mean it was pointless they were going to be all other each soon enough. Vor and I always had disagreements about 90% of them actually being my fault due to my talent of misunderstanding things and the other 10% was all him, he was so sensitive and took everything seriously, this I couldn't help but find cute. "Is it safe, can you two fucking go home.." I walked out into where they were only to take a swerve on my heel and walk straight back into my room as they were having

a delightful make out session. His hands....so grabby, is that was I was like with Vor.....I slumped down onto my bed, pressing my head into my pillow trying to erase muffle the image and my cries. I was about to go out there and brave the ickiness when my darling vibrated my mobile, I eagerly picked up, racking back my loose red hair.

"Vorrrr oh my gosh it's horrible....that idiot Stennis is here and is practically dry humping my sister on our sofa beedddd. Please tell me you're coming home for lunch ?

We could have a quicky." My voice was drawn out and whiney as it often was when I was distressed. Vor cleared his throat, I could hear men talking in the background clangley something metal together.

"Um Riley don't freak but I can't and I won't be back till late." I could tell he was reserved about telling me this as his tone was tight and cold, he never used that

tone on me "We are having a showcase for this really promising German street artist and it's gonna be like crazy here, This is going to be the first show I will host

on my own."

"That is fantastic, I am so proud for you...Alright then, it can't be helped can it haha. I have work to do too, a two month guaranteed gig. So I will be busy."

I couldn't help control my voice, it was dead and choppy I felt so bad for being a brat. For those of you who are like 'Geez obsessive much' just shut up and let me

explain. Vor to me was my savior, he was so close to being an angel I swear heaven tried to keep me from him. He staved off the darkness, he kept the demon at bay,

without him I would simply go crazy. It's happened before, he had to go abroad for a weekend so I stayed with my friend Leonie and drove her to the same madness

with my hysterical outbursts. He's the only one that really understands. I needed him.

"Wait up for me though, I have a surprise for you. If you can't I will just wake you up when I get home." His tone perked up a bit, tantalising me with this mysterious

gift. He wasn't a gift person so I was curious to find out what this was.

"Mm. Okay, see you then." After saying the ritualistic "Iloveyou"s we rang off.

I could feel it circling, closing my eyes I breathed, banging the mobile against my head. In desperation I rushed out to Kaitlin and Stennis but they had already gone,

leaving a note behind -

 

Thanks and sorry for everything Riley,

you're the best.

We were going to say goodbye but it sounded

like you were on the phone with Vor,

so we left quietly.

 

Love you bro and see you soon X

 

- Kaitlin

 

P.S: We should have lunch sometime - S

 

Like hell.

 

I crushed the note and flicked it in a random direction, knowing subconsciously that they probably overheard my note of sadness and didn't want to be the ones to deal with the melt down. I decided that I would focus on work and look at the overview for the magazine so I could set up a draft to see if this is what the client needed. I slid the orthopedic chair out to sit down, dragging my fingers along the smooth plastic of my laptop. I tapped the the enter button, to see Vor's and my face pop up as the wallpaper, he was holding onto me as if he would never let go as I him, his hand was clasping mine so tightly, his knuckles were white against his pale

skin a lovely contrast of light and dark flesh. I touched his lips recalling that when this photo was taken, it was minutes later after we actually got together.

That day was emotional, I could see the reds in both are eyes from all the crying but despite that our smiles were genuine, like we had just been to war and came out the only survivors, the battle scars were invisible to everyone else but to us we were sad and regretful but freaking happy that we won. I fished my mobile out of my pocket and brought up Vor's contact to send him a text -

 

I love you Voronwe Fords.

 

X

 

Within seconds he text back.

 

Get back to work.

 

Oh and I adore you Riley Sunderson :]

________________________

V.Fords@livewirestudio.com

 

I chuckled, sending one more text

 

Marry me then ?

 

X

 

Anytime, anywhere.

_______________________

V.Fords@livewirestudio.com

 

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