Before I Fall


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1. Before I Fall

My father sits next to me, red ash burning finger

Smoke from putrid lips

Sour with Poison fresh and cheeks awash with tears

And tells me I’m a mirror

Tells me to beware and rejoice

For today is the best it will be and tomorrow is bleak and bare

I laugh because I know at once he is right and he is wrong

I want to cry when he says to me, shivering monocle on his eye

“You just want to leave don’t you?”

And in tradition I give one word response

Yes.

I need to get out.  I cannot stay.

No diploma no paper no grade no trophy can feed me

I am hungry

Hungry for something I don’t know what but I need to get out

Wind howling at the windshield of a stolen car me crying at the wheel getting out

This is better than staying I cannot stay.

I hope She will come but if not I’ll go because I’d drag her down if I stayed

If I stay I will fall.

Where is satisfaction?

Where is fulfillment?

Show me and I will go

But she eats nothing

My father drinks poison.

I spit pretentious verse.

My mother ignores it all.

And I need to get out.

Get out before I crack.

Get our before I fall.

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