As The Days Go By

A collection of poems about the idea, the presence, the faces, the personalities of a person in mind.

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1. Starting Small

AN: These are going to stay pretty rough - I don't intend to edit them more than once as I'm writing them, but perhaps one day there'll be something that's greater than the rest. We'll see.

 

 

 

I had the idea of you in the back of my mind.

A child's mind - fragile, innocent, sensitive.

 

A life flashed before my eyes: 

Finishing school, finishing secondary school, finishing university, getting a job

and only then would you appear.

 

We would court and marry quickly - 

a big wedding, no doubt.

 

Children starred in the child's mind - 

that was the main goal.

Enough children for not one of them to ever feel loneliness.

To have enough family. To have support. To have safety.

That was the main goal.

 

In a child's mind you were a means to the dream.

You were never

anything

more.

 

You were an idea at the back of my mind.

Small

Almost impractical.

What would you be needed for

other than a means to the ultimate goal?

 

You never starred - 

I thought you would never star

in a child's mind you were not what I needed.

A means

to an end.

 

It was a slow development.

Only when you became tangible could I see the benefits.

Even then I saw benefits for my own self.

Still using you for a means,

but perhaps not in such a cruel way.

Not like before.

 

You became tangible at one point.

Maybe something to cherish, as much as I cherished the dream?

 

Don't get too cocky now.

You're still a means.

Always will be a means to an end.

Just a more important one than I could have imagined.

The imagination of a child's mind didn't extend to you

but now you are still an idea

a better idea.

An idea that can help the child's dream live on.

 

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