if im louder, would you see me?

when zayn malik loses his hearing the rest of the boys must find a way to help him through it.


2. i wanna scream and shout

zayns p.o.v


i walked into the dressing room after the concert. the boys were already in there chatting and laughing away. they stopped when they saw me come in. they probably heard me to but i wouldnt know.

'you did great' liam signed to me

"thanks" i said

'we have a jellyfish for you' niall signed

"you have a jellyfish for me?" i asked

'he means we have a surprise for you' harry signed

"oh that makes sense" just then i felt someone jump on my back. i turned my head and saw perrie

"hey baby" i said. she waved at me. out of everyone it was perries voice i missed the most. i miss thinking about her everytime i heard a little mix song on the radio. i even miss sweet memories coming back everytime somebody said her name. i just miss her.

"i love you" she said. i couldnt hear her say it but we've said these 3 words to eachother so many times that i recognise them easily. like the way she licks her top lip on the 'l' and then bites her bottom lip on the 'v' its these cute little things that make me love her so much.

"i love you to perrie" i said. she got out a piece of paper. 'im gonna write on paper for a bit cuz im not that good at signing yet :)' she wrote

"its okay" i replied "i dont expect you to go out of your way for me"

'dont be silly, your my boyfriend. i love you and i'll do anything for you' she wrote and i smiled.

"thank you baby" i said. the rest of little mix came in and perrie started talking to them. the boys were all talking to eachother. i didnt know what anybody was saying so i couldnt join in with a conversation. they all carried on talking whilst i sat there and said nothing. i couldnt say anything. what was there to say? i had no clue what anybodys talking about so whatever i say is going to be irrelevant. i could feel pressure building up all inside of me. i just wanted to scream at them all to listen to me. but that made me feel even worst. they could listen to me. but i couldnt listen to them.

"aaahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" i screamed before running out of the dressing room. i ran down the hall and onto the stage. all the fans were gone now so it was just me. i didnt know what to do. i ran up the stairs and onto a random seat. i just sat there staring at the stage. then liam appeared besides me. it would be him wouldnt it. good old daddy direction

'whats up?' he signed

"its jus everything thats going on. i cant have a proper conversation with anyone but you. your the only one that can really sign and anyone else that can doesnt know what to say to me. i just want things to go back to normal. i cant interact with fans because i have to look at you guys constantly for my cues. its just so hard and i might as well quit now" i said

'dont be stupid. your doing great. it might take time but soon this will all feel normal. we all respect how great your doing. the other boys just dont want to sign much until they can perfectly. they want want to signsomething wrong and upset you' he signed

"liam, how are you so good at signing?" i asked

'my nan was deaf. i've been able to sign since i was about 5. she died the year before x factor. how are you so good at understanding signing?'

"my grandad was deaf" i replied

'well now you've got it all out your system shall we go back?'

"yes lets go" we entered the dressing room and perrie ran up to me

'i have a jellyfish for you' she signed

"jellyfish? really.... niall have yu been teaching her to sign?" i asked. niall nodded "well i think you need to learn the difference between jellyfish and surprise. anyway what is it perrie?" i asked. she whispered something to liam and he started slowly doing the signs. she copied him

'if i told you it wouldnt be a surprise!'

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