| The Styles Brothers | One Direction

Elizabeth is a 17 year old girl who has hard times at schools. She been moving around for the past 3 years. 7 different schools. No friends, beside her now best friend Anastacia. When she finally comes to a school she like a boy appears, or actually, two of him, or maybe even three...

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49. Chapter 49.

Harrys POV

 

''Why did you do that?'' He is asking so many fucking questions, but I somehow enjoy telling him everything. I've told him all the details, even the small ones like what she was wearing that day and how my eyes catch her every time I see her walk by.

''She's got in my head.''

 

But why? Why exactly her? I've screwed up all of my relationships because of her. I've been cheating, fucking a new girl every night keeping it as a secret for the ones I thought I loved. I've been lying to myself telling me that I was in love with all of these girls, the ones I've been dating, but I wasn't. It was just an excuse to myself for not thinking about Elizabeth. This went on for fucking three years and I did nothing about it. I've lost friends, friends that have actually been there for me when I needed them the most, but I pushed them away. Because of her. She was in my head all the time telling me when I was about to do something wrong but I just pushed her away, ignored her. I should've listened when her face appeared as the person I was beating up, I felt horrible punching her in my imagination, but I just kept reminding myself that it wasn't actually her. I was just hallucinating. 

 

''How deep?'' How deep? How deep is she in my head? Deep enough to play around with my mind.

''Deep.''

''I just don't understand it, she sounds like an amazing girl but you still keep pushing her away.''

''It's not that easy Matt.'' I sigh.

''Have you at least tried?''

 

I haven't. I haven't actually tried. I wasn't listening. I was in my own world where everything was perfect, I at least thought so. Everything I did seemed right and I didn't felt guilty for doing any of the shit I've done. Should I try? What is the matter of me trying to apologize to a girl who doesn't even want to talk to me. She doesn't want to be near me, but I can't stay away. I'm fucked up.

 

''No.'' I say sounding a lot more harsh that I wanted to.

''Okay, then let me get this straight.'' He takes a deep breath before continuing. ''You and Eleanor ho…''

''It's Elizabeth.'' Haven't he been listening to anything I've said? I've mentioned her name multiple times, and he still gets it wrong. 

''Yea yea yea, sorry. So you and Elizabeth,'' He emphasize Elizabeth. ''hooked up three, four years ago and then you moved to America without telling her?'' I nod and he continues. ''Then you had an amazing time here in America until she suddenly showed up years later?'' I nod once again.

''At a restaurant while I was on a date with the girl I was dating.''

''What happened to that girl?'' 

''I dumped her.'' He sighs deeply and I see the disappointment in his eyes.

''In a good way, I did it in a good way.'' I continue and he looks slightly more happy than he did before.

''Great, so you do have a heart.''

''How funny.'' I can't help but chuckle at his stupid joke.

 

Sophia, I wonder what she is doing right now? Hooking up with a new boy, still crying over me or just having fun like every other person should. I broke her heart and she is actually the only one I've felt sorry for. She is a nice good looking girl and I dumped her because I thought that I actually had a chance as a friend or maybe a boyfriend in a girls life who I don't actually know. I have no clue about what's been happening in Elizabeth life the past three years. Back in England she was an terrible dancer and now she's on NYU's dancing line. How sick is that? She doesn't even look like herself, she looks a lot more grown up and she dresses a lot more, slutty? No, she definitely don't dress as a slut, nothing near that, but she dresses a bit more confident, she shows more of her skin and yes I notice that every boy she walks past turn around to look at her and I feel like breaking every one of those boys' noses. They shouldn't be looking at her that way, only I should. I wan't to walk by her side as the boys turn around to look just to give them my middle finger and to tell them that she is my girl and I'm proud of it. To bad that is never going to happen.

 

''Back to, Elizabeth?'' He questions like he is unsure of the name. 

''Yes.'' I sigh.

''You then tried to hook up with her again here in America and when she actually agreed to hook up with you, you told her you just did all of this to get laid and non of it was true?''

 

It hurts to hear him say that. I would be crushed if the girl I liked did that to me, it just seemed so right in the moment, but once again, everything I do is terrible and wrong. I somehow feel like I win a trophy to see her cry, but I feel like I win a even bigger trophy to see her smile or to see her happy. I am a sick bastard and I don't understand how she actually felt for me. 

 

''Yes.''

''Terrible lie.'' He says and stands up. Where the hell does he think he is going?

''Where are you going?''

''Away from you, I can't help you, you've screwed up too much Harry. It's over.'' No no no no, no! He can't say that to me, it can't be over.

''No! It can't be over Matt!'' I raise my voice and tug at my hair, standing up. ''I'm not ready to give up! Fuck!'' I yell even louder and he raises his shoulders in an attempt to avoid the loud noises.

''Harry calm down.'' Fuck no, I won't calm down!

''No Matt! I've ruined my life! I have nothing left! My brothers hates me, my mom is never home and I've lost the love of my life! There's no reason for me to be alive anymore!'' I point at myself through the last sentence. 

 

Somehow I actually wish I could end this hell called life for me. I don't see the big deal for me to still be alive, I have no one, nothing. I have myself and what to do about that? I am a living hell. 

 

I find myself looking around the room for something sharp, why am I doing that? I try to stop myself from looking, but it feels like my body has disconnected from my brain. This feels so unreal, like I'm in the middle of a terrible love soap opera with no ending. I finally find a piece of broken glass. I pick it up, yelling at myself to stop but my body doesn't listen to me anymore. I cut the glass across my chest making me bleed terribly. I have to stop this somehow.

 

''Stop!'' I yell as loud as I can and my body finally connects a little with my brain again. 

 

My voice is connected to my body now, but I'm still trying my best to stop cutting the glass across my chest. I feel the pain now, it's getting better and better. 

 

''Harry you have to stop! This is not the right choice!'' Matts voice sounds.

''I don't have any other choices!'' I speak without thinking.

''Everyone has a second choice!'' He yells and the tears starts streaming down my face. I am finally full connected to my body again.

 

I drop the piece of broken glass onto the floor and I fall to my knees, tears streaming down my face. What is wrong with me? Why do I always has to take the easiest decision. Of course is it not my time to die, right now it is my time to show people who I am and who I can be. I want to have friends, a girlfriend, if it is Elizabeth or not, I need to be loved. 

 

''You need to stop acting out so violent Harry.'' Wait?

''I don't like this version of you.'' It can't be true.

''Elizabeth?'' She nods. ''What are you doing here?''

''You looked like someone who needed a hug?'' 

 

I am quick on my feet to hug her. She almost falls backwards as I run into her and somehow I actually wish that she would have fallen. Then I'll be on top of her, looking her deeply in the eyes and watching her as she bits her lips while smiling. She would remove the curls hanging from my head and tug at my hair. I would kiss her soft lips passionate and we would just be laying there enjoying the moment. 

 

I lift her up swinging her around. Her hair is all over her face, but she is beautiful as ever before. Her laugh is the one thing that keeps this moment so special, knowing that she is having a good time and that she is happy. I slowly put her down and her smile pales.

 

''Your chest Harry.'' She takes a deep breath, slowly brushing her hand over my chest.

''It doesn't hurt.'' I tilt her head up and she smiles.

''Are you sure?''

''I'm sure.'' I kiss her.

 

Her lips against mine is like meant to be. The rush through my body is amazing and I've never felt more alive than I am right now. I cup her head with both of my hands and hers is on my ribs. Why is she even here? She hated me earlier and now she is standing here, kissing me. I need to push that thought away, I want to enjoy this moment, it may never happen again.

 

My hands goes from her head to her hips and hers to the back of my head, tugging at my hair never breaking the kiss.

 

''Elizabeth?'' I say into her mouth.

''Mmh?'' She mumbles back.

''I love you.'' I moan into her mouth. She doesn't respond.

''I love you Elizabeth.'' I try again but she still doesn't answer. I don't know if I should feel hurt or rejected. Maybe she doesn't love me, that's probably why she isn't answering, but to be honest I don't care if she loves me or not, I love her and I need to just live in the moment.

 

She places her hands at the edge of my jeans and they slowly move upwards to my stomach. She press her fingers into my skin, but it doesn't hurt. Even when she touch my chest, I don't feel a damn thing, is this what love does to you? Make you forget all the terrible things? She moves her hands down to my jeans again and plays around with the edge of my boxers. I normally hate all of this teasing shit, but when she does it, it is amazing. She makes me want so much more and the feeling inside of me is just growing by every second. She breaks the kiss and place her hands on my cheeks, cupping my face. 

 

''Wake up Harry.'' 

 

I don't understand her, why should I wake up, I am awake already.

 

''Wake up Harry.'' Her voice is raised and her face is becoming slightly worried.

''Harry wake up!'' She yells and tears starts streaming down her face.

 

My vision goes straight black within seconds and the only thing I can hear is someone's deep breathing. What is this? What the hell is happening with me?

 

''Open your god damn eyes Harry!'' I feel a slap against my face and I'm immediately awake and sitting up.

''Thank god, I thought you were dead.'' Matt puts a hand over his heart and smiles.

''Where's Elizabeth?'' I stand up really quick making me dizzy. 

 

I take ahold of the chair beside me and grab my head with my other hand. Wow I feel sick.

 

''Harry you've lost too much blood, sit down.'' He orders and my eyes dart to the floor. Is this all my blood?

''Why, why is my blood on the floor?'' I sound breathless. 

 

My chest, why does it hurt so much? I really want to look down to my chest but I don't know if I should or not. What is all of this blood is coming from my chest, what have I done. I force myself to look down. Bad idea. My chest is ripped open with cracks all over it, it's still bleeding a little, not much but a little. Who did this to me? I notice the broken glass on the floor and it is covered in blood. Did someone stab me with that?

 

''What happened to my chest?'' I try to remember what Elizabeth said to me a couple of moment ago. She said something about my chest but I don't remember what happened. 

 

Your chest Harry. It doesn't hurt.

 

It didn't hurt, I felt nothing when Elizabeth was there, where is she? I need her right now...

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