Thinking Of You (ZAYN MALIK- complete)

(A Shory Story dedicated to one of my best friends - Anna Dufourt.)
How can I get better when I had the best. He said I must move on but where did he expect me to go?
He thought he wasn't the right one for me and told me that his NEW world would only break us apart - even more apart. I said I wouldn't mind but he still left and concluded that he's never the best for me. And now what? Did he honestly believe that Al was the best lad for me? Did he really let everything we had go just because he thinks I can be happier with Al? How could you just accept it Zayn? Don't you know that everytime I'm with him I was THINKING OF YOU. Only you.


6. Zayn's Perspective (END)

V. “I was also thinking of you, Anna. I’d certainly go burst out the door and take all the pain I’ve caused you away. Because in your eyes, that’s where I also would like to stay” –Zain Javadd Malik


Zayn’s Point Of View:


“Zaynie! Can you please dust off the cabinets on our room? That would be your final task babe! Then we’re done cleaning. Trisha and your sisters will be here soon, so you’d better hurry, babe.” she instructed me, her sweet and mellow voice hovered across our spacious house – or rather, home.

“Okay! Love you!” I answered. I heard her giggle; I love how her laugh sounds so soothing to my ears. Though we’re basically shouting so we could hear each other because I was at the second floor whilst she’s cooking something for our dinner later, with my mom and my sisters.“~babe?”


“I’m waiting for your answer!” I’m smiling like an idiot whilst starting to dust off our cabinets, waiting for her sweet voice to say…

“I love you, love you, love you too Zayn. Now go back to work!” she said, I can hear her amusement on her voice.

“Okaaaaaay. I miss you!” yeah, I miss her even though she’s just a couple of meters away from me. That’s how much I’ve gotten used to having her always by my side. Since that unforgettable night, when we first both stepped inside a capsule of the London Eye, we were again, inseparable - our dreams and promises finally got into reality.

I opened a small drawer on our bedside’s table and there I found the letter that I gave her before our most special day – the start of our forever.


To My Dearest Anna,

Tonight, sleeping seemed to be the hardest task for me. Maybe because you’re not with me or for the reason that I’m too excited for tomorrow to finally see you in that white dress you chose personally for our special day. I bet you’ll look as stunning as ever – though it’s not like you don’t already look beautiful in my eyes even if you’re wearing a rag dress.

I cannot believe that in just a couple of hours you’ll be forever mine and I’ll be yours. Thinking about all the things that we’ve been through, it might be impossible to foresee that we’d still end up together. But look! Here we are, apart from each other tonight and waiting for tomorrow so we could finally say our vows to each other. Can you believe it? Well me, I do.

But before anything else, babe, let me tell you our story in my perspective. Who knows, maybe you could also let the children of our children read this.

That day you we’re having your last shooting day for Little mix’s music video with Perrie. I have to tell you that I am so proud of you because you were about to finish your degree in Multimedia Arts, that time – the dream you always had since we were kids. But that also reminded me of all the consequences we both faced because of my decision of leaving you. I had not been there with you whilst you were reaching that dream of yours – that hurts me, but I know it hurts you more – I hurt you more. I’m not even sure if “sorry” was enough to let you know how much I regret everything.

            I thought everything’s going to be fine Anna. I thought you’ll eventually learn to love Al and I’ll eventually accept the fact that I am not the best for you. But the moment I left you and gave Al his chance to love you there was a repugnant feeling inside my chest; it was weighty and it makes me want to shut the world off around me so I don’t have to make choices anymore. Each day that passed I kept on convincing myself that I did the right choice, that everything’s going to be okay. But deep inside me, the truth is I kept on thinking of you and what life would be like if I let you fight for our love and if I stayed with you. It’s like every time I take one step towards my new life now, there would always be moments that makes me take two steps back to you.

It’s not easy to choose between taking you with me and expose you to the rude world of show business or leaving you behind the spotlight so I could protect you from the possible condemnations and let you continue living your private life in peace, because I knew it would only hurt you both ways. Each option has a good and bad side – that makes my mind swivel hideously like I had been riding a roller coaster, non-stop.

I wanted to keep you but the management cautioned me, I knew it actually, that if I entered this career with you along as my girlfriend, I will expose you in a hard situation. The media would tend to barge in our private lives and will try to destroy our relationship by replacing the real things with rubbish lies. And so I chose to just leave you in Al’s arms to keep you safe. I was frightened to hurt you, Anna. But what I feared the most is the possibility of other people – the media, the fans – to break your heart and I won’t be able to do anything because privacy is what I involuntarily sacrifice as I entered this pop-star life.

I knew this wasn’t part of our plans together and I’m sorry for the sudden change, babe. I knew I took the opposite track. I left you hanging but still, you tried to understand me and let me take this opportunity to be successful on the things that I love doing – singing and performing.

But as I am chasing my dreams on the other side of the world, I forgot about the only dream I had when I was still with you. No, it is not being a teacher, but that is to be a deserving husband to you. I wanted to marry you since then. Even as a child I knew I wanted to be with you forever.

Al reminded me of all those misplaced dreams when I was able to see him again near your University. That day, I realized what I’ve been really missing and what I was supposed to be actually chasing for the past three years. Of course, it was YOU. We’ve talked a lot about you that day. I’m so jealous of him because all I can do is to reminisce all the good things we had on the past, whilst he had an endless list of how have you been doing in the present.

After that long conversation, I told Perrie everything. I told her how I’ve been missing you and how I badly want you back again. She’s my only shoulder to cry on that time,, since the management made us live together in one roof to make our made-up-relationship seemed real. Yeah, Perrie was right, that “not everything is always what it seemed like” you see, I cannot replace you, and it was only her, the lads and the management who knew the truth behind our relationship. It was a sham, nothing but a sham.

She told me to never be afraid and fight for our love, and I’m so lucky to have her as my best friend because she helped me conquer my fears. Who would’ve thought that she’s also the one who could lead us back together. Or maybe, it was fate who set this all up. You worked with her band for six days, and the management had no idea that they hired the same Anna – my Anna.

At first I cannot believe what Louis and Eleanor told me, that they see a girl at the Starbuck’s - during our concert tour around UK - that looks exactly like the girl on my wall paper. I thought it was just a coincidence but then Perrie told me everything, that she met you and told me that this is my chance to get you back. Fate must be really in my favor because that same day, Al texted me that he’s going to New York for good and told me to fight for you.

That moment, a glint of hope burst inside me. I knew what I have to do – it is to fight for you and don’t care about what the world might say anymore.

I went on the Starbuck’s that you were working in and there I met your friend Ivy – that girl who adores our band so much, I got afraid she might pass out when I told her that I was looking for you - she called you to go at the café. You came, with an unsure emotion.

I have no idea how to start a conversation that time but the moment you laid your eyes on mine it feels like the complications of our lives just completely vanished. I thought you were going to throw something at me and get mad at me. But then, that sweet smile of yours just radiated your entire being. I had tons of things that I wanted to tell you but there’s only one thing that I had been wanting to do above all, it is to kiss you.

We were both confused by that time, I was afraid of what were you thinking at the back of your mind. I was troubled , what if you’d given up on us already a long time ago?

 But I didn’t just give up. I tried to win you back – your trust and your love.

We went at the London Eye. The place I promised you to go only when I’m with you. We both entered a capsule for the very first time and that night was the night I told you everything about mine and Perrie’s relationship. You finally understood everything. I’ve learned that you also doubt it was real. You told me about the things I’ve missed during the times that we’re apart and I did the same.

You don’t know how much I cherish that moment Anna. Even if I told you already how happy I am, still, words cannot interpret the way my heart feels. That cold night, above London, we were no longer what the world made us out to be. I was no longer the Zayn Malik from One direction and you were no longer the Anna Dufourt who’s waiting for an unreachable lad from the other side of the world. That night I was just a boy and you were just a girl, oblivious from the painful reality.

We knew we could no longer change it. But then having you by my side made me stronger. I knew we can make it, I knew we can surpass all the challenges the world might toss at us, as long as we’re together. There’s no need to think of the impossibilities, because with you, I know, everything is possible. Our love will make it possible.

The next days we both faced the world and together conquer whatever it decided to throw at us. The management finally stopped my made-up relationship with Perrie. And we lived as happy and free as ever. The press tried to destroy us, but we kept our faith on each other. Time goes by and we finally learned to ignore their jealous accusations. Together, we fought for our love.

Thank you Anna, for trusting in me again and for never giving up on us. I knew our love is now stronger than anything. The world might be harsh at times but I know nothing could make the word ‘leaving’ cross our minds. Today, there’s no goodbyes.

I want all those crazy and lovely memories not to stay in this paper alone but also in your heart, for eternity. That’s the reason I wrote you this novelish letter. I love you more than anything else babe. I’m so excited to finally take away your last name ‘Dufourt’ and replace it with mine.

Mrs. Anna D. Malik, doesn’t it sound like it was really meant to be?

Sincerely and Forever Yours,

Zain Javadd Malik.



“Babe?” I glanced at our bedroom’s door frame and there I see my beautiful wife, smiling brightly at me.

I stood up and walked towards her. I put my hands around her waist, grinning like an idiot.

“What are looking at? and why are you reading my letter?” she playfully punch my chest. She squeaked, the moment I hugged her small frame against me. I just love it when we are this close.

“It’s from me so I have the right to read it too”

She shook her head. “No, that’s mine now.” She pouted.

I chuckled. “Fine, I love you”

“I love you too Malik”

“I love you more Mrs. Malik” then I placed my lips gently into hers.


*Ding dong*

Then our door bell rang, signaling that my mom and sisters are already here.

“Let’s go?”

I nodded at her. “Babe, the lads texted me. They wanted to visit us, too with their wives and children too”

“Okay, no problem babe”

I smiled, then followed her across the stairs.







All rights Reserved/ May 2013

“Thinking Of You”


Written By: Ivy Lopez

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