The Arts

FanFiction about Mazzi Maz.
Sex....sex and more sex.
Violence as well. ;D

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29. Plenty To Go

Marceline’s P O V

After I told Dave everything about my past, he was left speechless. He kept telling me how much of a ‘brave’ & ‘strong’ girl I am for not giving up on life. I heard his words but I didn’t feel them. I didn’t take them in and nor did I let it sink in. Since many things have gone to shit, I’ve detached myself from everyone. Dave doesn’t know what to say but for some reason, he doesn’t have to. I feel that his facial expression speaks for itself.

I’ve been staying here for a few days now and school is starting tomorrow. I told Finn that I was fine. However, I didn’t tell him where I was because I don’t want him ‘spreading’ the word around. He understands me and we keep in contact. I didn’t know what to say when he told me Jack died. I don’t wish death on anyone but he got what deserved. I didn’t tell Finn about Darlene either because it’s really not my business. As stupid as this sound, I don’t trust him or anyone at the moment. Well, the only one I trust is Dave but that’s it. I don’t even trust myself; pathetic. 

It’s almost as if Dave is the father I never had. He makes sure I eat everything on my plate even though my body rejects it and pukes it out. He also makes sure I’m breathing at night. I guess he sees me as the reincarnated version of Darlene and to be honest, it doesn’t bother me at all. I like it here but I’m not gonna stay here forever, just for today. I have to face my future back home and I don’t plan on dealing with irrelevant people.

*knock knock*

“Good morning Marcey, it’s time for breakfast” Dave smiled.

I snapped out of my trance. Good morning Dave I smiled as I followed him downstairs.

I grabbed a chair and sat down. Well Dave, today will be the last time we’ll have breakfast together so let’s make it last I said whilst taking a bite from my bagel.

“Well, it’s not like I’m never gonna see you again Marceline” he chuckled.

I gave a light smile and continued eating

Maz’s P O V

Ever since Marceline was abducted and ‘rescued’, I haven’t seen or heard from her since. I’m worried about her, what if something terrible happened to her? I don’t want to think about this but, what if she’s already dead? I saw her state of being and it wasn’t normal. Finn was right, I did kill her.

I haven’t slept right or eaten much these past few days. I couldn’t believe I believed Lexi over Marceline. What the fuck is wrong with me? Marceline would never do that to me and I treated her like shit. If you would’ve seen the pain, anger, frustration and sadness in her eyes; it would’ve made you wanna cry too. I’ve never seen someone so hurt by words. I’ve never been with someone who cared so much for me. I’ve never been loved by someone as much as she loved me. I fucked up and I don’t know how to fix it.

I tried calling her but he disconnected her phone. She probably has a new one now or she’s probably dead; great. I won’t give up; she may hate me now but I want to show her how much I truly care for her.

Forever & Always Marceline . . .

Marceline’s P O V

Well Dave, I guess this is goodbye . . . for now. Thank you for everything; you’re a great man and a great father. Darlene must’ve been so proud for having a father like you I said, trying not to sound dead

“There’s no need to thank me Marceline. I’m just relieved that you’re alive and well. I hope everything turns out okay in Uni. You’re parents missed out on such a wonderful child” his voice started cracking a bit

Thank you. I said, trying to hold back tears. I’m done with crying . . . I don’t wanna cry anymore.

“Can I hug you?” he said, tears were already streaming down his face.

I nodded as I let my tears fall and I let him hug me. As he did, I felt bad for not hugging back. Then my instincts kicked in and I automatically hugged back. I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried loudly into his chest. I’ve never cried like this before but it’s for the best. I have to let it all out; all of it. It’s the only way I’ll move on from all this mess.

“Don’t cry Marceline” he sniffled.

I didn’t obey and kept crying, louder and louder each cry. Knowing how unpredictable I’ve become, who knows when I’ll bust out and have a cry. I’m no longer gonna be fucked around with again. I’m not a toy I’m a human. I’m a weak weak weak human.

After 30 minutes or so of crying, I finally decided to pull away from the well needed hug and go home.

Thank you Dave, I needed that I said, still balling my eyes out.

He placed both of his hands on my shoulder and spoke. “You will get through this my dear; you’ve gone through much worse. It isn’t the end of the world, just the end of that relationship” he said, sniffling.

I nodded, hugged him one more time and left.

Once I got a cab, I had some deep thinking take over. It was a really long drive; therefore, tons of thinking. I thought about me, myself & I. I wondered how I became so weak and pathetic due to one guy who didn’t care for me. He said I ‘cheated’ on him; it killed me to know that he believe some other girl he despised and not me.

Having all these thoughts about him made it worse to hold back tears. I know I was in a cab alone but still, I just didn’t want to. Then I remembered how I walked in on him and Lexi; all the mean things he said to me afterwards, that really got to me. I began sobbing like a new born. Why did he have to do that to me? Why did he have to take away every-fucking-thing? I’ve lost weight and my skin is now grey; no longer pale white. There all these red scratches and mark under my eyes from the crying, lack of sleep and well, lack of everything. My vision has gotten worse and my hearing hasn’t been a bother but still; I know it gets worse.

The cab driver gave me a pitiful look but said nothing. I’m guessing he understood that I needed to let it all out and be alone for a while.

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A few hours passed by and I recognized a few shops & flats that were in London; I knew I had arrived.

I asked the driver to leave me at the park by ‘Abbey’s Eyes’. As I stepped out, tears blurred my vision again. My eyes were really puffy, sore and I’m pretty sure red; but that didn’t stop me from crying again.

It was getting dark but I managed. I sat down on a bench and looked at the fountain in front of me.

Wow, things got pretty bad didn’t it? Well don’t worry, I’ll get myself together and continue living my life on ‘edge’. I won’t quit school but I already quit on Maz and well, everything else. Depression sucks yunno but I guess I can make it out alone. Dave is right, I’ve been through worse so this should fly by quickly; I hope. I said to myself. I didn’t care who heard or who was around; I have to vent my feelings.

I heard a girl saying ‘I love you’ to someone. I turn to see she’s with her boyfriend. He held her hands in his and repeated what she said but in a passionate way. I sat there looking at them, watching them express their love but in words.

“Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re worthless, to me you are the world” the guy said.

“I won’t, I’m so lucky to have someone like you in my life” she pulled him in a hug.

So that’s love huh? I said to myself. I felt tears building up again so I got up and made my way home. Gosh, I’m so pathetic. I’m crying all the time like a baby; this isn’t me! This isn’t who I am!

Maz’s P O V

After thinking about how I’m gonna get Marceline back, I went out for some Nandos. I’m happy that my stomach is full but I feel empty still. She has no idea how bad I feel right now. Every time I think about her, flashbacks of that night keep coming back to me. Since my last break up with Lilah; I couldn’t love someone ever again. When Lilah cheated on me, I vowed to never love someone who cheated on me again but Marceline didn’t cheat. I thought I was in love with Lilah but I wasn’t. I’m completely sure that Mars is the one. She’s the girl for me.

Why am I such an idiot? I said to myself. I didn’t want to go home because it’ll make me think more about the situation. I walked to the park to clear my mind.

I sat on a bench looking up at the sky when a voice interrupted my thoughts.

“I love you”, I heard a girl say. I instantly looked around to find the girl who said that.

I found the girl but it wasn’t Marceline. The girl said it to her boyfriend. He held her hands in his and repeated what she said but in a passionate way. I sat there looking at them, watching them express their love but in words.

“Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re worthless, to me you are the world” the guy said.

I couldn’t bear sitting there any longer so I got up and walked away. I didn’t know where I was going but I certainly didn’t care.

*bump*

Oh, sorry. I said to whomever I bumped into. I didn’t even check who I bumped in to

The person just sniffled and kept walking as well; whoever they were, were having a shitty day like me. What a day huh?

Marceline’s P O V

*bump* someone bumped into me but I didn’t care who it was. I simply didn’t care.

Oh, sorry the guy said. He said it in such a careless manner, oh well; nothing else can make me feel worse . . . nothing. I didn’t reply and I kept movin’.

I slowly walked home and plopped on floor; silently sobbing. Tears blurred my vision; I blinked them away when I came across my bag of spray cans. The crying stopped as I thought of an idea. I should go out and do some property damage to make myself feel better. School’s starting tomorrow and I don’t wanna be a sap yunno?

---------------------------------

I changed into some random clothing and headed out.

(A/N: You can check out Marcey’s outfit on Polyvore.com. Look for the username Coeur-shapedbox, and the set will be named after this chapter)

I wanted to paint a mural of a girl; a girl who’s done getting stomped on. A girl who’s no longer weak but fierce; a girl who was stupid but learned from her mistakes. A girl who was hurt but slowly putting herself back together. I want to paint a girl who lost herself but isn’t sure how or when she’s gonna find herself again. I am that girl. I wanna be the girl I was before; it sucks being back to square one.

I climbed a few fences and ended up in some abandoned building. I soon became aware of where I was; I was in the building were Maz painted a mural of ‘our relationship’.

Asshole!! I yelled at the mural. Because of you, I’m like this! I’m pathetic, I’m weak . . . I’m worthless! Because of you, I can no longer live my life! Because of you, I had a taste of what a broken heart felt like! You asshole, I hope I never see you again! I yelled.

I-I hate you . . . I hinted.

I took some cans out of my bag and painted nasty things over his piece.

‘I love you’- it had painted on the walls.

‘I hate you!’- I painted over it. Everything on that wall was about my horrid past with Maz but then tainted with my hatred. He doesn’t know how much he hurt me, how bad he made me feel about myself, how low he kicked me whilst I was low, how much of a whore he made me look! He doesn’t know it and I’m sure he doesn’t care!

I stepped back from all the mess I’ve made. I was crying loudly as my thoughts, hands and hatred took over me.

FUCK YOUU! I threw the spray cans at the wall and fell to my knees.

I fucking hate you SO much you fucker!! I buried my face into my hands and cried louder than ever. My crying was super loud since the building was abandoned but it didn’t bother me. I knew I was always alone, I knew I only had myself; I just knew . . .

Maz’s P O V

I decided to go get my spray cans and do some vandalizing. It’s been awhile since I’ve done anything illegal. The last time I spray painted was when I painted a mural for her, defining our relationship. It made me sick knowing that, that mural actually defined something but I made it seem as if it didn’t. I know what I should do . . .

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I climbed through a cracked window and walked up the steps. I chose to go to the abandoned building where I painted the mural for her. I just wanted to see it again to remind me that everything will be alright.

“Asshole!!” I heard a girl’s voice yell. Usually, I would leave as soon as I hear someone else is in here but something attracted me to the voice.

“Asshole!! Because of you, I’m like this! I’m pathetic, I’m weak . . . I’m worthless! Because of you, I can no longer live my life! Because of you, I had a taste of what a broken heart felt like! You asshole, I hope I never see you again!”

“I-I hate you . . .”

I heard the girl say as I followed her voice.

I didn’t know who else was with her but it sounded as if she was just yelling to let her anger out; which was normal to do. Suddenly she stopped talking and all I heard were spray cans being used. I didn’t walk in so I peeked my head in a little and she was SPRAYING ALL OVER MARCELINE & I’S MURAL!

“FUCK YOUU!” she yelled and threw the spray cans at the wall and fell to her knees.

“I fucking hate you SO much you fucker!!” the girl buried her face into her hands and cried louder than ever.

Hey! Why the fuck did you have to go and spray paint over this mural huh?! I yelled at her but she continued crying. Hello, I’m talking to you; what are you deaf or something?! Why did you do that?!

“Because the fucker that painted this shit KILLED ME, you fuck face!!” she shouted, looking around at the floor.

My eyes widened instantly . . .

M-Mar-Marceline? Marceline, is that you?

She nodded her head slowly and cried some more. I guess she doesn’t know who I am or maybe . . . she does

“Leave me alone” she sniffled.

I ran to her and gave her a hug. She felt cold, if really did feel like I was hugging someone who was dead. She had no warmth to her, no pulse . . .  no life.

Marceline, hear me out please. What happened that night, wasn’t supposed to happen. I was such an idiot for believing Lexi & Matthew over you, I- she slammed her fists on the ground.

“Get OFF OF ME!” she growled. She finally looked up at me and I could see suffer in her eyes. “I FUCKING HATE YOU!” she growled as she pushed me away.

She had red scratches under her eyes and her skin was beyond pale. She looked like she lost some weight too. She didn’t look like Marceline anymore.

Marceline, I thought you died the day you were kidnapped! I shouted.

“I bet that’s what you wanted you sick son of a bitch! I don’t ever want to see you again! I don’t want to see you, Lexi, Matthew. . . NO ONE! WHY CAN’T ANYONE JUST UNDERSTAND THAT?!” she screamed.

I never seen her like this before, I bet she never had seen herself like this before.

Why would I want you dead Marceline? I love y-

“Don’t you dare say those pathetic words to me! I don’t love you anymore & you sure as hell never loved me! I was crazy about you, now I’m just crazy! I hate everything and everyone now; thanks to you. I can’t eat, sleep or stop fucking crying because of you! UGH! Hate isn’t even the word for how I feel about you right now!” she pulled on her hair.

Marceline, please don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself baby. I uttered. You know you don’t mean any of that. I know you love me, if you fell out of love already; that means you never loved me to begin with. Marceline, I’m sorry for everything I did! Matthew told me the truth and then I caught Lexi admitting it. Please forgive me, please!

I saw her cringe at my words. “Don’t ever . . . call me baby again” she said through gritted teeth. “You don’t know me because after all I am some stranger. You don’t know who you dated right? So you can’t define my feelings if you know shit else about me! I fell out of love for you because I’m not gonna waste my everything on some douchebag like you, who doesn’t care about me. And don’t play that ‘you must’ve never loved me if you got over me that quickly’ game with me because it doesn’t work. You sure as hell never loved me you sick shit! Fucking some sleazy slut in my flat on my bed! Do you not fucking think?! I honestly do hate you and I could care less about who admitted the truth first, you’re the idiot who bought their lies! You’re the idiot who believed some wench instead of me! So you can go fuck yourself because I will never forgive you!” she shouted.

I never felt so hurt in my life. I saw darkness and anger surround her eyes. I heard true hatred and loathe in her voice. I felt everything that she vented towards me, and it didn’t feel good at all. I don’t hit girls and I’m usually not afraid of anything but Marceline scares me because I’m worried about her. She’s so cold that I don’t even know what’s her next move.

I just stood there, studying her different self. Man, I ruined her.

“STOP STARING AT ME!” she sobbed. “Since I know you’re not leaving . . . I’ll leave! I don’t ever want to see you again, GOT IT! You can go back to your whore at your place & I’ll go back to mine. I’ll leave forever so I won’t see you, you ignorant bastard!” she cried.

I hated seeing her like this, she was still a tough gal but I could see her slowly drift away from that. I can see her slowly cracking and it killed me.

What do you mean . . . leaving forever? W-where are you going Marceline? We can work this out, see! You don’t have to leave Marceline; I don’t want you to!

“I’m going back home . . . I’m going back to New York, and I don’t ever want to see you again. . . I fucking hate you” she got closer to me as she whispered it angrily and walked away . . .

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