Can't You See it Isn't Your Fault? (Sequel to Can't You See it Doesn't Matter to Me?) *COMPLETE*

Sequel to Can't You See it Doesn't Matter to Me!! So read that one first!!

"You're so stupid! How could you let him do that? Now he doesn't remember anything! It's all your fault and now, you lost him forever!" I think this to myself everyday, numerous times. Niall always tries to talk to me and get me to get out of bed, but I won't. How could I? Everything is my fault.

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7. Chapter Seven

Sam's P.O.V

    The next day, I just stayed in bed as long as I could. I was only there for about an hour when Niall showed up at my door. "Just came to see if you were awake." he said. "Okay. Well I am." I said. "Okay, and oh Liam wants to talk to you. Want me to send him in here?"  he asked. "Sure." I said and he disappeared.

    I laid for another three minutes when Liam appeared. "Hey." he said and came to sit on my bed. "Hi." I replied "Look, about last night. I'm sorry I wasn't being that good of a listener. I'm just really worried about you. I don't want you to be a crazy minded fool. I want you to be okay." he said. I sat up. "No, it's okay Liam. I appreciate you trying though. I don't want to be like that either. It's just, I can't convince myself he's gone, Liam. It just won't get in my brain. I don't think it ever will. And I know for a fact yesterday, I wasn't seeing things. I swear Liam. I saw him. You have to believe me." I said. He sighed. "Why would the doctor lie though, Sam?" he asked. "Hello! He's Zayn Malik! You know, from the famous boy band One Direction!' I said. His eyes got wide. "I think you may be right." he said. I nodded. "I'm going to go to the doctor's office, and I know this is creepy, but I want to see his body. Otherwise, I won't believe he's dead." he said. I nodded. "I'm coming too." I said. He looked at me. "I don't think you want to." he said. "Why not?" I asked. "If he is dead, would you really want to see him?" he asked. I shrugged. "Not really, but I'd still see him at the funeral, so it doesn't matter. I still haven't said goodbye either." I said. "Okay, then." He said. 

    We went to te hospital and told the doctor we wanted to see him. He nodded and led us down the hall to another room. "He's in there. If you need anything have a nurse get me." He said and walked off. I looked at Liam. Do I really want to do this? Does he even want to do this? Liam looked at me and noticed I wasn't sure. He took my hand. "You really want to do this?" He asked. I nodded. "It's the only way to find out." I said. He took a deep breath and turned the door knob. We walked in and Zayn's body was on a table. It wasn't terrible. He just looked like he was asleep. Then who was Jaxon if Zayn was really dead? I walked over next to Zayn. "Well, he really is gone. Everything you tell yourself is a lie. He's actually gone. You lost him." I said in my head. I felt tears on my cheeks. Liam noticed and hugged me. "He's really gone, Liam. I wanted so badly for Jaxon to somehow be him." I cried. "Shh. I somehow did too." He whispered. I could tell by his voice he was crying too. "I loved him. How am I supposed to get over this?" I asked. "I'll help you. And so will the other boys. And the girls I'm sure too." He said. "I wish they were here." I whispered. "I know. Me too." He said. "Okay, well I need to tell Zayn goodbye I guess." I said. "Okay, I'll let you." He said and turned. I grabbed his arm. "Stay here. I don't want to be alone." I said. He nodded and we went to Zayn. I kneeled down next to him and took his hand. "I don't know how this happened. I don't know how I lost you. I can't believe it either. But I guess I have to know since I can see you right now. Well I love you, okay? Don't ever forget that." By now I could feel myself crying out loud

jnand choking as I talked. "I love you so much and I hope you rest peacefully. I'll see you in like eighty years. I don't know how I can wait that long, but I'm already counting the seconds to it." I had a death grip on his hand. I was afraid it would fall off. "I love you. Forever." I said at the end. Then I slowly stood up, looking at my Zayn for the last time. I turned to Liam and just cried and cried and cried. "Come on. You'll be okay. Lets go home." He said. I nodded and Liam led me to the car. 

    We got home and went inside to find four girls on the couch. I rushed over to them and hugged all of them. "Oh my gosh, Sam. Are you okay? How are you doing?" Brooke asked. I looked at them and sat down. "No. I'm not at all okay. And horrible." I replied. "I'm so sorry, Sam. We miss him too." Mollie said. "Thanks. But I'm really tired. I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight." I said. "Goodnight Sam." They echoed back. I walked up to Zayn's room and laid down without even doing anything. I was too tired and didn't think I had any tears left in me. That was until I cried myself to sleep.

 

A/N: hey guys!!! Sorry I'm writing this chapter on my phone in bed and it was being really stupid so sorry if there are any major mistakes. I really wanted to update, so I did on my phone. Ill try and update this week. Only two days left of school!! :D thanks for reading! Comment your opinions please! Thanks! Love you all! ~Leah :)

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