The Monster That I see

This is not your typical fanfic. I like writing dark stories and to be honest I'm tired of reading all the lovey dovey crap. This story is based on my imagination. I have an imagination that runs wild. So I ask you to join me on this journey but only if you can handle it!

Let me tell you about my life, the one I use to enjoy living. I was such a happy person. Now I'm bitter I don't really care what goes on in the world. I feel numb, sometimes I feel like dying would be a lot easier then living my life. My life is a living hell. All because of the one I love turned against me. He's no longer the sweet innocent boy I used to love in fact he's a monster. Join me as I tell you my story the real story of Niall Horan.


14. I don't deserve this

"HIs ex, what do you mean his ex?" I frantically asked. "You know ex as in an ex girlfriend." He answered. "Don't talk to me like I'm dumb Haz, does he still like her?" I questioned. "It was a dumb question Britt, and I'm not sure I haven't heard him talk about her for a few months. He hasn't mentioned her since he found you." He stated. I was confused if he hasn't talked about her then why was he meeting up with her. If he has her why did he need me. I didn't need to be here, I could be back home living my life with my mom and Skyla, oh how I miss them. "What happened between them? I found myself asking, I don't know why I was asking, it's just one of them things you need to know. "She's European model, his in a band they never had time for eachother. Well that's just great for one she's a model, I'm just me and for two they didn't end on bad terms. "How long were they together?" I asked. "About a year." He answered. "Did they love eachother." I whispered. "I don't know Britt maybe you should talk to Niall about this." He stated obviously annoyed with all my questions. "I'll just go didn't mean to bother you." I snapped. "What, it's not like that it's just we're suppose to be bestfriends. We barely spend time together, so I rather not hear about Niall." He said. That made me feel bad I knew where he was coming from I just didn't know who else to turn to for answers. I knew I could never bring this up to Niall, it would just make him mad, and I don't like when he is mad, but I knew Harry was right I missed our friendship so I tried my best to push all my thoughts of Niall to the back of my mind. "You're right, I'm sorry. I just didn't know who else to ask." I told him. "Ask Niall." He bluntly said. "I can't." I said without even thinking. I quickly covered mouth hoping he didn't hear me. I looked over and seen Harry already starring at me. "And why is that?" He asked. Shit I cursed to myself. "Well whenever I see him he's always drunk, you know that." I half lied. I mean it's true he is always drunk but I can't tell Harry what really goes on. "You tell me this and yet, I don't believe a word you say. What is so bad that you're hiding from us?" He asked. I wanna tell him so bad. I want to stop lying to Harry, since I got here he's the only thing that keeps me sane. The only one I'm really close with, but here I am lying to him over and over. I don't want him to look at Niall any differently. Plus I'm scared that he may not believe me. It would crush me if I told him and he thought I was lying about the whole thing. Niall has this image that he's good at perfecting, no one and I mean no one sees what I see. I kinda wanna keep that way, I don't want anyone to know who he actually is, it just sucks that I get the short end of the stick. No matter what I will always protect him, enough of the world already hates him. If they found out his nice guy act was just a gimmic everyone would hate him. "I'm not hiding anything, it's true he is always drunk. Whenever I try to talk to him it turns into a fight there is no point." I stated a little bit more confindently hoping he bought it this time. I heard him sigh "Whatever you say Britt, whatever you say." I wanted to ask Harry again if Niall loved this Tegan chick. The more I thought about the more I couldn't get it out of my head. "Can I asked you a question?" I asked. "You just did." He smiled. I lightly slapped his arm letting him know he was being a smartass. "For real." I laughed. He nodded while laughing with me. "Did he love her?" I questioned for the second time. I watched as Harry stopped laughing his expression going back to serious. "Yea, yea he did." He finally gave me my answer. It was stupid of me but I felt tears sting my eyes. Niall said he loved me to but here he was running around with his ex behind my back. "Don't cry love." Harry cooed while rubbing my back. I stayed silent except for my sobs. "It's alright." He tried to assure me. I roughly wiped the tears that had fell, I looked up at Harry my blues meeting his green. "It's no alright, he's out running around with another girl, not just any girl but his ex." I cried. Harry wrapped his arms around me, trying his best to comfort me. At this put my cries were far too loud drowing out all the sound around me. "If you were mine I would treat you like you should be treated." I heard Harry whisper. I'm sure he thought I wouldn't be able to hear him due to how loud I was crying. "What did you just say." My voice crack with each word. I was right his shock expression told me I was not suppose to hear it. "Uhh....nothing , it was nothing." He panicked. "I heard you." I whispered. "It's true Britt, I'm sorry Niall is one of my bestmates but you deserve so much better. Someone that will treat you right, someone who knows what they have when they have you." He finished. I was shocked, was he saying he had feelings for me. There's no way Harry was just being a friend, and hes's with Sky he loves her. He will never hurt her, he's just trying to be the friend I need right now. My mind was racing it was fighting against itself, I had to ask. "Are you saying you have feelings for me?" I questioned barely audible. I watched Harry take a deep breath. "No of course not, I mean you're beautiful, sweet and kind. Not to mention you have a kick ass personality." I giggled. "But I'm with Skyla and you're with Niall." He stated. I was relieved I thought things between Harry and I were gonna be awkward, I realize I think too much. I felt Harry playfully tug at my hair trying to break the awkwardness. I slapped him, and it turned into one big wrestling match. We ended up rolling off of the bed, both of giggling. I landed on top of him, still tugging at his curls. That's when the door swung open. "How is it that I always find you two all over eachother." He questioned. I went to talk but was cut off. "Oh let me guess, it's not what it looks like right?" He forcefully asked. I didn't say anything. "Well." He snapped. "It's nothing, I got bored so I came to see what Harry was doing. We started goofing off and ended like this." I stated still sitting on Harry. I quickly jumped off of him. I made my way over to NIall. He placed his hand on my wrist and I felt him squeeze. Harry was oblvious to all of it, he had no idea that the hold Niall had on my wrist actually hurt. NIall brought his lips to mine kissing me in front of Harry as if telling him I was his, and to stay away from me. Harry raised an eyebrow at us. I watched as he made it to his feet walking out of the room. I wonder what was going through his mind. In my mind I was begging for him to come back. I know Niall is mad and I know that I'm in for it. "I thought I told you stay away from him." He spat. "You uhh you did." I studdered. "Are you afraid of me Brittney?" He questioned. I was a little bit taken back by this question. Did he want me to be afraid of him. I shook my head no lying of course. "You're lying, I know you well enough to tell when you are lying." He stated. Niall led me down the hall and into our bedroom. I knew he was doing this because we had a door we could lock. He couldn't lock Harry out of his own room. We reached the door I watched as Niall took hold of the door know twisting so that it opened. Once the door was open he pushed me into the room. "How many time Britt how many fucking times do I have to tell you to stay away from him. I do not trust you two around eachother. You're a whore." He snapped. "I'm not a whore." I whispered. "You're what ever the fuck I say you are, got it?" He questioned while grabbing a fist full of my hair. "I hissed in pain. "I got it, I got. please let me go." I begged. Niall let go of my hair pushing me into the wall. His hands grabbing on to my waist. I felt his finger digging in I let out a yelp. He quickly placed his left hand on my mouth. "Are you stupid they will hear you." He said through clench teeth. He removed his hand so that I could speak. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "Good girl." He praised. I felt his hips grind into mine. I did not like this side of Niall, I'm a virgin, and right now Im terrified. "I like that you're afraid of me, it let's me know I'm in control. He said while nibbling on my ear. My breath hitched, I felt myself begin to shake. Niall was so close he felt me shake as well. He threw me to the floor. "Pathetic, how is a little whore afriad of some dick." He spat. "What is wrong with you?" I questioned. He remained silent. I watched as he made his way over to his closet. He picked out a pair a blue jeans and a button down white shirt. "I'm going out."
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