The Monster That I see

This is not your typical fanfic. I like writing dark stories and to be honest I'm tired of reading all the lovey dovey crap. This story is based on my imagination. I have an imagination that runs wild. So I ask you to join me on this journey but only if you can handle it!


Let me tell you about my life, the one I use to enjoy living. I was such a happy person. Now I'm bitter I don't really care what goes on in the world. I feel numb, sometimes I feel like dying would be a lot easier then living my life. My life is a living hell. All because of the one I love turned against me. He's no longer the sweet innocent boy I used to love in fact he's a monster. Join me as I tell you my story the real story of Niall Horan.

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16. for the first time in a long time

That night Niall fell asleep on my chest. I couldn't even tell when the last time we slept together. This whole time I'vee been with him, I never seen him cry. By him crying it makes me feel like he really does want to change. That he really does wanna treat me better. He needs to learn how to cope with all the hate, He needs to realize not everyone is gonna love you. He needs to know that the people that matter to him love him more then he will ever know. He looks so innocent as I watch his chest rise and fall. I wonder if he knows he talks in his sleep. Lastnight was the first time I seen him sober in a long time. I still need to think about this whole Tegan situation but for right now he's the only thing that matters. For right now he's the only thing I care about. I know alot people are gonna think I'm stupid for forgiven him but I know the person he can be. I know the person he wants to be again. I'd give anything to go back to the days before all the hate. The days when this blonde irish kid never wiped a smile off of his face. The days when we couldn't get him to stop laughing for nothing. Niall is a good person at heart, I know he hates who he became, I know he wants to make thins right. I know he wants to start over with everything. Maybe I could have my life back. Maybe I can start to call my mother again. Maybe I can have a friendship with Sky again. Maybe I could go home every once in while. Maybe I'll gain his trust back, I'm hoping. But for right now I know we have to take one step at a time. Lastnight I was so ready to walk away from him and all of this, but once I seen him crying I just couldn't leave him there broken. I couldn't leave knowing I was the one to cause him so much pain. If I left I would have only made things worse. I learned from an early age you can't run from your problems. I woke up to the sun shining in my face. I was expecting to roll over and see Niall still sleeping next to me. I hope everything that happened lastnight was not just an act. I hope everything he said to me was the truth. I rub the tiredness out of my eyes, I stand up and stretch. As I'm stretching someone knocks on my door. "It's open." I shout. "Harry?" I question a bit confused. "Niall sent me to wake you up, he's making breakfast and he wants to know if you're gonna eat." He states. "Uhh yea I'll be there in a minute." I tell him. I bit confused that he actually sent Harry to get me. I know how he feels about mine and his friendship. I'm relieved to see him trying though. I change out of my pajamas and make my way into the kitchen. "Hey where's everyone else?" I question. The kitchen smells lovely. "They went out, said we needed time to ourselves." He answers. I smile. "They didn't have to leave so early they could have atleast ate." I state. "They insisted we needed all the time we could get." He says. "How thoughtful of them." I joke. Niall made bacon, ham, eggs, hasbrowns, and toast. He ended up eating to plates I only had one. Since he cooked for us I decided to clean up after us. "So what's the plans for today?" I question. "Britt, were really that bad?" He questions ignoring my question. I finish with the last dish. I shut of the water and turn around to face him. "Yea." I simply state. "Why did you choose to stick around for so long?" He asks. "I kept hanging to hope that one day you would wake up and realize what you were doing." I state. "I don't deserve." He states. "No you don't." I say. "You're not suppose to agree." He says. "But that doesn't mean I don't love you." I state. As I wrap my arms around him. I really do love him, just because he has done things in his past doesn't mean I love him any less. We all make mistakes, we're just human, no one his perfect. "If I ever do anything to you again, I want you to leave me." He says as he pulls away from me to look into my eyes. "Are you serious?" I question. "Yea, you deserve better. Promise that you will leave me if I ever hurt you again." He begs. "I uhh I promise." I whisper. He places his lips on my forehead. I can't even tell you the last time he was affectionate towards me. The little things he is doing shows me he wants to change. "We have alot of things to work on but I know we will make it." I assure him. "What makes you so sure?" He asks. "I just know." I state. Call it weird but I really do know that the two of us will do just fine. I know we will make it passed this. We have been in it too long to call it quits now. "You never answered my question." I say. "What question?" He asks. "What are we doing today." I ask again. "Oh I was thinking we just stay home, Watch some movies and eat a bunch of junk food." He states. "I'm okay with that actually." I tell him. He smiles. Seeing Niall act this way is something I have missed for so long. I miss him the old him. I can only hope I get that Niall back. I know I want that more then anything. I want us to stay together and be okay. I want us to work. Niall means more to me then he will ever know. If he didn't I would have walked out a long time ago. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy. I'm starting to recognize the boy I once fell in love with again.
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