Never

Isabella is your everyday girl. She gets good grades has amazing friends. Her parents adore her and want nothing more then a good education for their daughter. what happens when everything doesn't go as planned? What happens when she comes face to face with a certain boy named Harry, the school's bad ass.

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18. too selfish to quit

Harrys pov I seen Izzy making her way towards the door, so I did what I do best I lied. I know girl's always fall for that senitmental shit, she's guliable and believes everything. Part of me was telling the truth everyone does always leave me in the end. They get tired of my bullshit and walk away from me, but I'm use to it by now. I could handle her walking away I just don't want her to I came this far. I can't and will not start over with this. At this point I know Izzy is in too deep, she can try to tell me she doesn't love me but I know she does just by the way she acts towards me. If I wasn't so fucked up in the head I would fall for her too, I just can't I won't allow it. As the words leave my mouth I fell her stiffen in my grasp. I watched as she turns to face me, my eyes meeting her's. "I won't leave you Harry, but I want answers. It's not fair that you know how I feel." She whispers while looking down at her feet. I take my right hand and place it under her chin, bringing her eyes to meet mine again. "You're right, it's not fair Iz I'll tell you everything you want to know." I say still holding her chin. I'm gonna tell her everything she wants to hear, this will be easy. I do this all the time to every girl. "How do you feel about me?" She askes. Instead of telling her I place my lips on her's. I feel her repsond instantly, Our mouths move in sync. If I had feelings I would say kissing Izzy feels right, like her lips were made to kiss mine. Unfourtnately I have none so to me this is nothing but a simple kiss. I pull back looking at her I watch as her lips form a smile, I smile back. "Does that answer your question?" I tease. She nods. "You ready to go home?" I question. "Can I go home with you?" She askes. "Of course love." I tell her. We exit Louis' room, we go on to find each one of the boys and Torie to let them know we are leaving. After saying our goodbyes we make our way to my car. The car ride to my house was different than the rest of the rides. This time Izzy was lovey dovey holding my hand rubbing small circles on it. I didn't cringe or pull away. I want Izzy I just don't want her the way she wants me. The only bad part about all this is once it's over it's over. I like spending time with her, but once she finds out this was all just a game she won't want anything to do with me and she will leave just like all the other's. I park my car in it's usuall spot, as I shut the engine off, Izzy jumps out of the car. I walk over to her side and she laces her fingers with mine. We walk hand and hand to my front door. I know she's getting the wrong impression, but I'm too selfish to tell her otherwise. What I want I get. Izzys pov It's safe to say I'm glad I didn't walk out on him. I know he could be stubburn and selfish, but atleast I got him to admit to his feelings. After he admitted his feelings for me things been different. He's alot more loving, I'm allowed to hold his hand or kiss him when I want without the fear of rejection. I never thought in a million years I would fall for Harry Styles, the schools bad ass, but I wouldn't give my heart to anyone else but him. With him I feel like my heart is safe, with him I feel love. I never knew what it was like to love someone until he came along. It just happened, who knew his game would turn into us actually having feelings for one another. I wonder if things will stay like this at school, or around his friends. I wonder if he will let me touch him infront of people. Harry is a completely different person around his friends so I have no idea what to expect. Once we're inside Harry askes what I want to do. My answer was simple, I just wanna lay in bed with him as he plays with my hair until I fall asleep. He seemed to like my answer so we did just that. I watched as Harry pulled out a pair of boxers and a t-shirt for me to sleep in. All though I told him over and over what I was wearing was fine, but he insisted on me wearing his clothes to bed, so I gave in. I pulled the covers back and climbed in. "Harry?" I question. "Yea." He answers. "What does this makes us?" I ask. "Uhh friends that have feelings for eachother." He states and I laugh. "So just friends?" I say. "Yea but I get to kiss and touch you whenever I want to." He says while kissing me. "What If I told you I want you to be my first?" I ask. "Then I would say okay, aslong as you were ready and that's what you really wanted." He states. I smile at his answer. "Because that's what I want." I say honestly. I don't know where I got the courage to talk like this, but it's like with him I don't have to hold anything back. With him I could say whatever I want. I know he wouldn't judge or criticize me for it. With him I could be who I want to be. I could be myself. "Whenever you're ready, I'll be waiting." He says while rubbing my back. I answer him by kissing him. I glide my tongue across his bottom lip asking for entrance that he grants. I feel his soft wet tongue move against mine, every so often I take his bottom lip between my teeth. I remove my lips from his and press them to his neck, a soft moan escapes his lips. I continue to kiss and suck his neck, I'm sure to leave a mark. He doesn't seem to mind he's to into my actions to care. Harry takes hold of my thigh pulling me on top of him. Each one of my legs on either side of him. I can tell he's enjoying his self as I feel him stiffen underneath me. I run my fingers down his chest until I reach the hem of his boxer's. "What are you doing?" He questions. "I have no idea." I say. I'm confused as to why he would stop me. "Why, am I doing something wrong?" I ask."Not at all, but tonight isn't the night for this. You will know when the time is right. For now let's just sleep." He states. "Okay." I say as I roll off him on to my side. I feel Harry slip is hand around my waist pulling me back so that my back is to his chest. "Goodnight Iz." He whispers, as he kisses my ear. "Night." I say as I close my eyes. Harrys pov Don't get me wrong, there's nothing more I wanna do then to fuck her. I wanna hear her scream my name. I wanna feel her nails dig into my back. I wanna make her cum as I slide in and out. I wanna feel her from the inside, but tonight is not the night. She's been drinking so it could just be the alcohol talking. I want her to be sober, I want her to know this is what she really wants. If she was any other girl I would have done it, but she's a virgin. I don't want her first time to be a mistake. I'm sure after it's all said and done, in the end she will think it's a mistake no matter what. But in the time that it's happening I want her to be completely aware of the choice she makes. In that time I want her to actually want me. I should feel horrible but I don't I am who I am there's no changing that. I hear the snores of the sweet girl that lays next to me. All she wants to be is loved, I can't be that guy. I will never be that guy. I'm an asshole Izzy is a great person, she doesn't deserve this but I'm only thinking with one head, and it's not the head on my shoulders. This head wins no matter what, I'm too selfish to call it quits.
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