Never

Isabella is your everyday girl. She gets good grades has amazing friends. Her parents adore her and want nothing more then a good education for their daughter. what happens when everything doesn't go as planned? What happens when she comes face to face with a certain boy named Harry, the school's bad ass.

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33. conscience

Izzys pov

 

 

It's nice to know I'm not the only one that wants to get away from all of this. I'm glad I have Harry to lean on. I said it before and I'll say it again I don't know what I would do without him. Since he walked into my life so much as changed. I'm no longer close with my parents or my friends. I can't even remember the last time I talked to my brother. I'm not doing so well in school. I party now, I'm doing things with Harry I never thought I would atleast till marriage, but what's the point in waiting if you love someone. We have been driving for awhile now and I have no idea where he is going. "Harry, where are we going?" I ask. "It's a surprise." He states. "I Hate surprises." I whine. "You will like this one." He tells me. About twenty minutes go by and Harry parks his car along a desserted road. "Can you park here?" I ask while unbuckling my seatbelt. "Yea no one comes down here anymore." He says as he shuts the engine off. I hop out of the car and wait for Harry to come around to my side.

 

 

We walk down a sandy path, and stop when we hit a private beach. "Harry." I say tugging on his arm. He stares down at me waiting for me to explain myself. "We can't be here, this is someone's beach." I state. "Yea I know, It's my beach Iz. My parents own it." He says. All I could muster was and "Oh." We continue to walk onto the beach. It's fence off by a little white fence, there's a beach house, and a tiny playground. "Do you come here all the time?" I ask. "Not so much anymore. I used to alot when I was younger. When my parents would fight I would come here. Or when I got in trouble and they tried telling me what to do I would run here." He tells me. I wanna ask him more about his family but I don't want to push it. I know when he is ready to tell me he will. "I'll be back I'm just gonna run inside and get some blankets." He tells me. I nod. I wonder what his parent's do for a living. They have to have a decent amount of money if they own this, Harry's house and there own house. There's no telling what else they own.

 

 

I walk over to the swingset that looks like it hasn't been used in years. The seats are dusty and the chains are all rusted. When I was younger I had one that looked just like this only mine was purple, his is blue. I watch as Harry makes his way back with three blankets. "Three?" I question. "Yea one so that we can lay on, one for you and one for me." He states. "We could share." I tell him. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to." He says honestly. "Of course I do, but if we get cold we could always use the third one." I state and he chuckles. I watch as Harry spreads out one of the blankets. "Sit on it before the wind takes it away." He intructs. I do as I'm told and take a seat. I pad the spot next to me for him to sit down. He sits next to me and I could already feel his body heat.

 

 

"So I was thinking we can just here tonight?" He states. "What about school?" I question. "I'll make sure you make it on time." He tells me. "Okay, yea I guess." I say. Harry lays down on the blanket he pulls me with him. I collaspe on his chest. It doesn't get much better than this. Laying on a private beach with the one you love, it truly is amazing. Harry plays with my hair as I lay on his chest. I look up at him and his forehead is creased. "Thinking?" I ask. "Uhh, what yea." His words tumble out. "About?" I ask. He lifts my chin to make sure is eyes are locked on mine. "There's alot of things you don't know about me." He states. "Well I'm ready to listen when you're ready to tell me." I say. I feel him take a deep breath. "I think I'm ready." He states. I'm a little shocked that he wants to share so many things with me but none the less I'm happy.

 

 

"First off I don't talk about my parents, they divorce because of me. I was always getting into trouble my dad couldn't handle it so he turned to drinking. He didn't know what else to do so he thought he could mask the problems with liquor, but then his drinking got out of control. Instead of fighting with me he would fight with my mother. One night he put his hands on her. I was old enough to know it was wrong. I was raised to never lay a hand on a women no matter what they do to you. My mother was innocent, she deserves so much better then that ruthless piece of shit. Anyways one night he hit her and I couldn't take it anymore it was one thing for him to talk to her like nothing but for him to actually hit her. It set me off. I nearly beat my own father to death that night. I was arrested, I came back and all their stuff was packed. I asked my mother what was going on and she told me they were leaving. She chose that prick over me, her own flesh and blood. When all I was doing was trying to protect her." He finished.

 

 

If I wasn't mistaken I could have swore I seen tears forming in his eyes. I went to speak but he cut me off. "I'm not done." He says. I nod for him to continue. "You know about Kris, well most of it. I turned to her for help because she was there. I never planned on falling in love with her it just happened. She knew I needed her and she left me like everyone else did. That's when I stopped being the good guy. I figured fuck it why try and why care about people that don't care about you. I couldn't even tell you how many girls I slept with and screwed over. After I was done sleeping with them I went around telling everyone about it. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I never hit my father that night. Would they still be around, would they still love me. Would I have fallen in love with Kris. Would I be the way I am." He states.

 

 

I have no idea what to say to make him feel better about himself. All I could tell him is how I feel and how he makes me feel. "Harry you're not a bad person. What they did to you is shitty. You don't deserve that. In my eyes you're a good person. You're my favorite person, before you I had no idea who I truly was you showed me how to be myself, and for that I could never thank you enough. I love you with everything I have and I will never leave you like they did." I tell him while I stroke his cheek.

 

 

Harrys pov

 

 

"I love you and I will never leave you like they did." She tells me while she sooths my cheek. Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. As soon as she said she wouldn't leave me the guilt started to pile in. I can't do this, I can't hurt her. I'm so fucked up and I know she's gonna hate me. "I can't do this." I state as I sit up. "I'm sorry?" She questions confused. "I can't do this, us." I tell her. "What do you mean." She asks worry filling her voice. "I mean this is a mistake, this was never suppose to happen. I'm sorry." I apologize. "I still don't understand." She says as tears brim her eyes. I hate seeing her cry, I want to wrap her in my arms and tell her everything will be okay but I know it won't. She deserves someone that will treat her right. She deserves someone that is actually capable of loving her. "Izzy, you were just part of my game." I state. I watch as her mouth falls open, I watch as the tears make there was down her cheeks.

 

 

"How could you do this to me. I don't understand, you told me that you loved me. You fought Zayn because of me. You find time just to spend with me. How could you be so cruel." She cries. "That was before I got to know you for you. I fought Zayn because I had to make it look believeable. This wasn't suppose to last this long." I finish. "I did things with you that I never thought of doing. I stopped talking to my parents, I'm not close with my friends anymore. I gave up Logan." She continues to cry. "I'm sorry." Is all I could say. "You're not sorry, You're a worthless piece of shit and I feel sorry for you. No one is ever gonna love you like I did." She screams. "I know." I agree. Because I am worthless, I know no one will ever love me like she did, but I'm doing this for her. I don't deserve her. I watch as she stands up. "Where are you going?" I question. "Away from you." She answers. "Let me atleast drive you home." I state. She ignores me and starts to walk away. I run up to her and grab her by the arm she swings around. I feel a slight sting to my right cheek. "Don't touch me." She snaps. I grab hold of her arms so she can't slap me again. "Izzy let me take you home please. " I beg. She struggles in my grasps. She gives up when she sees I'm not letting go. "Fine but after you drop me off I want nothing to do with you." She says as her tears continue to fall.

 

 

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