Never

Isabella is your everyday girl. She gets good grades has amazing friends. Her parents adore her and want nothing more then a good education for their daughter. what happens when everything doesn't go as planned? What happens when she comes face to face with a certain boy named Harry, the school's bad ass.

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31. a bit about me

Harrys pov

 

 

I should have known there was something up with Zayn. The was he always stares at her, it's like he wants to ruin everything I worked so hard to get. I can't get over the fact I just beat the shit out of one of my best mates and I don't feel bad about it all. I didn't like the way he was talking about Izzy, it's one thing for me to disrepect her but I won't stand to watch someone else do it. "Come on I wanna go." I demand. "I'm ready I was waiting on you." She tells me. I take hold of her hand and head out of Louis' parent's room. As we exit everyone is in the hallways attending to Zayn as if I'm the bad guy. "You wanna tell me why you just beat his ass?" Louis questions. "Ask him I don't have time for this shit." I snap. "Oh yea that's right you don't have time for any of us, not since she came around." He states as he points at Izzy. "Lou I wouldn't if I was you." I shout. "Or what Haz you gonna beat my ass too." He says. I run my fingers through my hair and walk pass him, them. I don't need to explain myself to anyone.

 

 

I have no idea what I'm doing. When did I care what my friends thought about the girl I was trying to fuck. Is Izzy different from the rest. Am I growing attached her? No I can't, I won't I promised myself I could never, not again. This is all Kris' fault she fucked my head up. Why is life so complicated? Why can't it be easy? Why can't I just be with Izzy without thinking she will hurt me? Izzy knows nothing about me she only knows what I choose to show. She knows nothing of my past. She has no idea what I used to do when I was younger. I refuse to tell her who I really am. She has no idea I'm the reason for my parent's divorce. She will never know that my father used to be a raging alcoholic, who used to beat my mother. She will never know that I nearly beat him to death. She will never know that my mother chose to stay with my sorry excuse of a father over me, her own son.

 

 

My past is something that I run from. I haven't talk to either of my parents in god know how long. I don't know if my father is still drinking. I don't know if he is still beating my mother. I have know idea how they're even doing. I know nothing about them at all anymore. The sad part about all this is I don't even care. At first it hurt like hell when my mother walked out on me, I didn't care that my dad was leaving. In fact I wanted him gone. It took me a long time to realize not everyone is gonna love and care for you as you do them. After my mother left with him she said I could keep the house, and that one day she would be back for me. I told her don't bother. That I would be better off without her. I loved my mother with everything I had but that night she left me, she took everything with her. That's when Kris came in picture, I told her everything and I thought she cared about me. She was the first person I ever slept with I thought she was special. I thought she loved me and I loved her, but she crushed me when she told me she had a boyfriend and that she loved him. That's the moment I realized love didn't exist and that nothing is forever.

 

 

I know sooner or later I will have to tell Izzy she was just part of my game. The question is do I tell her sooner or later. This game has to end soon, if we keep at it I will get attached and I can't I just can't. Everyone I ever loved left me, I know Izzy will leave me too, everyone does. That's why I'm gonna leave her before she leaves me. It's weird how this world works I rather her hate me for everything I am then to ever love me for something that I'm not. Izzy is a smart girl she deserves way more then I could ever give her. She deserves to be happy, to be loved. She deseves to find a guy that would care for her no matter what. I know she wants me to be that guy, but I'm not. I wish I was though. I never met someone like her. Someone so caring, someone that puts other's before theirselves, someone that loves with their entire heart. I wish I met Izzy before my life went to shit.

 

 

The ride back to her dorm is silent. I believe she wa afraid to speak, afraid I might lash out on her for what happened between Zayn and I. Even after I crush her I want Zayn no where near her. Just because I can't be with her doesn't mean he has the right to be either. He would be all wrong for her. He doesn't care for Izzy hell he don't even know her. He probably just wants the same thing I do. The only difference is I actually care for her. I look at her and I know I don't have that many more days to spend with her. Soon she will want nothing to do with me and that's fine. That's what I want her to do. Once I get what I want from her. I want her to forget that I ever existed, I want her to live her life as if she never knew who I was. I want her to see life isn't a fairytale. I want her to see love doesn't exist.

 

 

I put my car in park as I pull up to her dorm bulding. "You're not coming up?" She questions in a whisper. I shake my head no. "Because of what happened?" She asks. "Yea, I need time to think about everything that took place earlier." I state. "But we're okay right?" She questions. I look at her and I smile. "Yea, Izzy we're fine, we're good love." I say as I kiss her forehead. "Okay well call me later yea?" She asks as she makes her way out of my car. "Sure thing." I tell her. She waves and walks toward the building doors. I watch to make sure she gets in ok. Once she's inside I throw the car in drive, and drive off. I head to my house, park my car in the driveway, and make my way inside. I need time alone, I need time to think. I have to find a way to end this soon. I need to teach Izzy a life lesson. I need her to see life isn't everything she thinks it is. I need to teach her not to give her heart away so easy. She needs to know to never give her heart to someone that doesn't deserve. Sooner or later she will see the real me and hate me and I go back to my life before her. She will go back to her life before me as well. The way everything is suppose to be, the way everything is meant to be. I'm meant to be alone, I think it's god's way of punishing me for all the stupid shit I have done. This is my life I might as well make the most of it.

 

 

 

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