Starless Sky [completed]

After having spend the summer with the Cullens, in LA and with Charlie; Melody gets back to Forks High School. it's a brand new year full of unexpected surprises and things you'd never thought were existing.

After a small incident, things go wrong - Bella gets depressive and Melody runs away.
But what happens if the past all comes flooding back? is there danger lurking?

What if she can't protect her family from herself and the ghosths of her past? And worse.. how will Edward react?

Starless Sky is the sequel to Moon Girl

IMPORTANT:

This story is RATED 18+ / NC-17 which means the following:

- violence
- angst
- cursing
- sexual acts/ suggestive themes

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10. Trying to survive + Dreaming visitor

A/N:  alright - i've already started with the third part in this series. so to get all the chapters faster on here, i'm going to post two or more in one chapter. hope you enjoy!
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November light shone dimly through the lacy curtains at my window. The snowflakes that fell from high sky, stayed on the ground, creating a huge white blanket that covered the city. I couldn’t make out what time it was, not that I wanted too. I could easily be early morning, afternoon or even twilight. I’d been lying there for a while, just staring at the white ceiling from my bedroom. I tried to remember, to forget and to relive everything that took place the night before.

I found myself wanting it to be a dream – even the times of pure pleasure I’d been through with Edward. it was earth shattering but never worth his leaving.

He should’ve given me the chance to explain, to tell him everything I’d kept away from him as a secret. Maybe I could’ve kept him with me, at my side.

I made a move to crawl out of my bed, since there was no true reason at staying in it. And I needed a good shower. As I moved I cringed at feeling my muscles hurt. Even though my numb, depressive state, I felt myself blush. The muscle ache everywhere was probably something normal after your first time of having sex.

My head burned with dizziness as I gathered some fresh clothes and a towel to get a shower. The house remarkably quiet and I wondered what time it was. I glanced at the clock in my bedroom and gasped when I saw the time. Half past five in the evening. No wonder it was getting darker outside. I must’ve slept for almost twenty hours!

The panic was starting to contract in my chest again. this wasn’t normal – it should’ve been the other way around. Scarlett told me that after mating the change would only become faster and more obvious. I should’ve slept less than two hours or so. Instead I slept the double of one human.

I tried to control my breathing and to make sure I wouldn’t have another panic attack. Entering the bathroom, I laid my garments beside the wash table before turning on the water. I got out of my dirty clothes, constantly wincing when some sort of pain would struck me at a place on my body. When I tugged off my shirt, bra and the rest of my clothes, I gasped when I saw a couple of bruises playing around my hips, through the large mirror. Combining with the scars that would be seated there for lots of lifetimes, the skin of my belly looked like it had been cruelly violated.

No wonder my lower body hurt so much.

 

It had been too fast, too rough and he had been too strong. I could’ve expected this, but the marks only reminded me of him and what we’d done the night before.

I stepped away from the bathroom mirror in disgust. Not of Edward and the bruises he’d caused, but because of me and how I looked. My hair was wild, tangled and it seemed like it hadn’t been washed for days. My eyes were blotchy from crying as my lips were swollen and plump from the fierce kisses Edward and I had shared. A small cut sat beneath my eye on my cheekbone, while a bruise covered some space at my collarbones and the scars on my shoulder didn’t do anything to lighten up my mood either. My breasts were unharmed but a tad lower, on my ribcage were bruises spread out as well. My arms and legs were quite harmless too, apart from small scrapes. The space between my legs however, was the place where it physically hurt the most. There were still some blood stains high on my thighs.

It occurred me, he never said a thing about my tattoos or scars. He’d also been so very careful to avoid contact with my partly wounded shoulder.

Words weren’t truly needed at that moment, but I wished there had been. Maybe if we’d spoken about it, this all wouldn’t have happened, then didn’t Edward need any reason to leave.

It was actually my fault.

 

As tears threatened to spill over again, I got in the shower stall and stepped under the hot spray, feeling the water burn my cold skin and hitting the fresh scrapes. I tightly hugged my ribcage, feeling so vulnerable and fragile standing there like that.

I quietly washed myself, being careful at touching the battered places, and cleaning the chafing and open cuts. Unfortunately, not even the smell of my banana-coconut shampoo didn’t seem to calm my senses or make me feel better.

I didn’t know how long I stood there, unmoving and just staring ahead of me, letting water pour down on me. but I needed it – I needed the water to remind me of the rain. I actually needed the bruises cuts and ache between my legs to know we had sex last night. I was determined to endure the heartache to be able to remember he’d been in my life.

When I noticed the skin of my fingers started to wrinkle, I turned off the water, that had started to run cold, and stepped out. Carefully, I dried off and even so gentle I put on my way to large sweatpants and a dark blue long-sleeved shirt. On my feet, I put a pair of thick, fluffy feeling socks and I left my still drying hair down.

I hugged my chest again when I went downstairs, a little apprehensive on what I might face. Turning the corner into the kitchen, I was surprised to see Charlie already there. I hadn’t heard him enter the house. My mind was completely elsewhere.

“Hey Dad.” I croaked, my mouth awfully dry as I squeezed out the words. Charlie’s head shot up at hearing me. his thoughts were completely in disarray as he tried to decide how to handle me. As if I was some kind of psycho. I saw how he handled everything, how he handled with searching for Bella. A frown started to form on my forehead and I hissed out of nothing.

“Melody…everything is going to – “

“No it’s NOT! How can you say that!? Everything is ruined! EVERYTHING!” I yelled through the kitchen, startling my father who dropped the spoon he used to mix dinner in the pan. The tears were falling all over again and I snapped my jaw together in an attempt to calm myself. It wasn’t fair. How it always seemed to end up in a disaster when I felt at the right place.

Charlie sighed heavily,” just like I told Bella, and I know it’s hard, but you have to accept their choice Melody. They’re gone and won’t be coming back for what sure will be a long time. but Carlisle had a great offer for a job and it’s normal and healthy that they choose their family in the first place.“ he calmly said, sitting down on a chair.

“No…no…please don’t say that…” I whimpered, taking hold of the doorpost next to me and feeling a sudden rush of nausea trigger my senses. I clamped my hand down on my mouth, feeling the need to gag.

“Melody? Honey, are you okay?” Charlie stood up from his chair and went over to me, but I had already pushed myself away from the doorway, running up the stairs a little faster than humanly possible. At the top I wrenched open the bathroom door which I exited through no mere minutes before, stumbling in the direction of the toilet. I fell on my knees and threw up harshly , sobbing through it from the dry pain in my throat.

When nothing left my stomach anymore, the nausea was gone. I was still gasping for breath when Charlie’s warm hand soothed my back.

No words were spoken as he picked me up from the cold tile floor and carried me to my room, placing me gently beneath the soft duvet, tucking me in. he felt my forehead for any signs of fever and left to go downstairs. later he came back with a glass of water, a warm washcloth and a bucket. He placed it all in the right place, before sitting down in the edge of my bed. he looked at me, sighing and started to stroke my hair in a caring manner.

“You need rest, little girl. Everything that is happening is taking a great effort from you, and you’re not able to handle all of this if you keep wanting to make everything right. And I know it hurts you that your best friends left, but you need to learn to get up and live further. Years from now, you’ll look exactly the same, and also then you’ll need to handle such things. And I also know you’ve been through a lot already, but someday you’ll be the one to laugh last. Because you never gave up strength.” Charlie murmured, the emotion obvious in his voice.

“You should realize that I’m not going let you slip through my fingers. You’re very precious to me, daughter, just like your siblings and cousins. Rest, dear. I’ll bring up some light soup later.” He patted me softly on the head and stood up, walking to the door.

“Just yell when you need me, alright kiddo?” 

I nodded slowly, my eyes still prinking from the salty tears and the sudden feeling of tiredness. Charlie closed the door, and went downstairs to finish dinner for Bella and himself. I still had no clue about how and where Bella was, but she probably was alight. If she wasn’t Charlie would’ve told me.

I grabbed the washcloth and started dabbing my face, wiping the sweat away and hydrating the skin. Then I settled back into my large pillow, closing my tired eyes.

I didn’t know why, but I really needed sleep. Again.

 

Charlie had woke me up later in the evening, saying I needed to eat at least something. I didn’t want to. Charlie sat with me, talking about his work to distract me as much as he could. He watched me closely as I sipped at the chicken  bouillon, since he knew I hadn’t eaten much before when the Cullens just left.

Just thinking about them hurt, and thinking about Edward the most.

Charlie made sure to check on me while I just lay in my bed, trying very hard not to think about anything. Luckily, nothing that went in my stomach came out and Charlie told me to choose for myself if I wanted to go to school or not the next day.

I actually wanted to just sink into the ground, into nothing, but to be honest I also wanted to go to school. Maybe I could distract myself in some way.

I just hoped it would be enough.

 

I was waking up, noticing the consciousness slowly creeping into me, losing the dreams I didn’t dream that night and dodging the nightmares for another time. I slept so deep that I was surprised I’d woken up by myself. Or not. Feeling a faint vibration from underneath my pillow, I opened my eyes, adjusting the morning light and picking my IPhone from underneath the softness. Charlie probably set an alarm. Smart – no wonder he was a cop.

I wanted to turn around, when a sharp sting in my belly made me jump out. Nausea overpowered me again as I ran to the bathroom.

I was getting so tired of this – the constant nausea, vomiting and the evil stings in my lower belly. That little bouillon Charlie had forced me to eat didn’t even stay in my stomach. After my breathing changed back into its normal rhythm, I stood up and went back to my room. I grabbed a pair of jeans a shirt with a color, I didn’t care what color and got dressed. In the bathroom, where still hung the smell of puke, I brushed my hair without doing anything with it. like I cared that the colors I wore didn’t match, or that the ringlet curls bounced around my shoulders. Things didn’t matter to me anymore.

I slowly, unwillingly went down the stairs, seeing Bella seated in the kitchen. He face lit up when she saw me but changed in a grimace, however, when she noticed my appearance.

‘Good God, what happened to her? They shouldn’t have left! Edward’s just an asshole!’

“Hey Mells. How are you? Still nauseas?” she asked, a bit unsure of what my reaction might be. I shrugged as an answer, leaving the kitchen to retrieve my shoes and jacket. Once I’d gotten my keys, I left the house without greeting Bella any more. I silently, slowly drove to school without music filling my car. I didn’t want that – I didn’t listen to music anymore.

Arriving at school, I parked my small car as far away as possible from its usual spot. The giddy feeling I always had every morning upon seeing Edward, was absent and replaced by grief.

He could act like I didn’t exist, I could act like he died.

 

I got out of my car, slung my bag over my shoulder and winced another time from the pain. Walking wasn’t painless and I felt like walking like a penguin. I prayed no one would notice or guess what I had been doing two nights before. I trudged through the barely there rain, crossing the parking lot and ignoring the stares. Yes, everyone knew yesterday that the strange but beautiful Cullen family had left Forks. And since I was the one looking like I’d been knocked with a car, with all those bruises and cuts in my face, their snarky comments or pity was for me.

A sudden hand on my hurt shoulder, made me cry out a little. I turned around to face her, my eyes emotionless.

“Melody….” Bella sighed, removing her hand from my shoulder. I didn’t reply.

“Oh, Melody come on! I know you are having a hard time dealing, me too, but why won’t you talk to me? it’s not like I’ve done anything wrong.”

You did everything wrong. that’s the point.

 

Bella kept staring at me, expecting a reaction but she wasn’t getting one. I didn’t want to talk because if I’d do, they’d ask me about how I felt. And feeling was something I’d lost control of.

I shook my head, felt the tears pricking and let her stand in the rain.

 

                Classes were dreadful. The hours felt like decades and history was terrible without the fun stories of Jasper. Biology was to cry about when Alice wasn’t next to me making fun about everyone’s clothes. English was disastrous without Edward at my side, to quote the most beautiful poems that made my heart melt.

                Lunch wasn’t fantastic either. I sat at the Cullen table on my own, trying to ignore all the stares and thoughts people threw at me.

                Bella’s kept me in her sight for the whole time, talking to her friends in the meanwhile. She was having a hard time too, but much less than I did.

                I was practically dying inside.

 

                When it was finally time to go home, I broke down. I cried the whole way down to the house, sobbing and constantly begging why. I thought going o school was a good distraction, but it turned out to be more of a hell than I’d expected. The memories of them haunted me.

                I didn’t want memories – I wanted the real stuff.

 

                At home I made my homework and sat on the couch, just sitting there. Bella’s irritated and worried sighs only frustrated me more. When Charlie got home, we had dinner. Or better said they had. I wasn’t in the mood for eating and just shuffled my food around my plate.

                “Melody, eat something please. It’s unhealthy not to.” Charlie said, a sad look in his eyes with his mustache turned downwards.  I shrugged, knowing I hurt Charlie’s feelings, and eventually took a few bites. It tasted awful and I wanted to chuck it out just as fast as it entered my mouth.

                After dinner Bella and Dad did the dishes as I crept upstairs and quietly vomited again. The nausea never seemed to stop.

                That night I was terribly tired again, letting myself fall uncomfortably on the bed. the bruises weren’t helping my state.

               

As I slept, strange things happened in my unconsciousness, making me even more confused than I already was.

                That probably had to do, with a little boy that kept telling me stories about his parents, but when I asked him who they were, he wouldn’t answer. he said I knew.

                The worst thing was, was that he looked like Edward, only much smaller and younger.

                He was adorable and the only one to make me smile so now and then. My only happy place in this depressive time I was going through.

               

                I woke up, blinking against the sharp light of a warm day. I took in my surroundings, gasping at the sight of Edward’s meadow. My chest hurt as I started crying again.

                The feel of a soft little hand on my scarred shoulder, made me look up. I was met with the face of a little boy, with bronze hair, chubby cheeks and striking green eyes.

                He looked like clone of Edwards but then I human form.

                “Why are you so sad?” he asked me. his voice was beautiful, tinkling. I shrugged.

                “someone I loved very much left me.” I replied, sniffing up the tears, being fascinated with him. like he  eased the pain.

                “That’s not nice. Let me hug you.” He said,  taking me by surprise by enclosing his short arms around my neck. I wrapped mines hesitatingly around his back, hugging him to me. when he el tem go again, I immediately felt the loss.

                “where are you from?” he asked again, sitting down in front of me.

                I smiled lightly, “form Forks. And you?”

                He shrugged. “I don’t know. I think from where my mommy and daddy live. But I don’t know where that is.” He answered. I felt bad for him in an instant. Maybe he’d lost his parents.

                “what’s your name?” I asked in return. The boy shrugged again, before a boyish grin widened on his little face.

                “You’ll find out soon enough.

 

For days everything went the same. I’d wake up way later than I used too, screaming for help, fear and murder after I dreamt about the mysterious little boy. Then I’d get out of my bed, get dressed not caring what I actually wore and indifferently brush my hair. I would skip breakfast and head outside, ignoring Bella and going to school. Awfully lonely I’d sit through the never ending classes, getting all worked up upon hearing one of their names. Every day at lunch, which I skipped too, I’d sit alone at the Cullen table, just staring.  When I got home, I’d neatly do my homework, cook dinner for Charlie and Bella en then I’d site deadly silent and still on the couch in the living room, before going to bed again, starting the same routine all over. I didn’t eat, drink and refused to hunt. I felt ghastly and even worse, trying to deal with it. Even the touchable memories about her friend were one. Every picture, every present and every single funny memo message had left the wall in my bedroom. 

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