Starless Sky [completed]

After having spend the summer with the Cullens, in LA and with Charlie; Melody gets back to Forks High School. it's a brand new year full of unexpected surprises and things you'd never thought were existing.

After a small incident, things go wrong - Bella gets depressive and Melody runs away.
But what happens if the past all comes flooding back? is there danger lurking?

What if she can't protect her family from herself and the ghosths of her past? And worse.. how will Edward react?

Starless Sky is the sequel to Moon Girl

IMPORTANT:

This story is RATED 18+ / NC-17 which means the following:

- violence
- angst
- cursing
- sexual acts/ suggestive themes

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11. Not so Secret + Grasping at Straws

I sat in the kitchen, looking through the window, waiting for something, and nothing at the same time. I had no idea what to do with my life. As I stood up to do the left over dishes, since I hadn’t anything else to do, I nearly hit the ground when I saw what was happening outside.

Bella had been at La Push all afternoon after school. she seemed to be over Edward and their relationship. She smiled again, went out with her friends again, ate everything she could and mostly enjoyed her time with Jacob.

Who now, actually was wildly kissing her, having her pushed against the door of the old rusty truck.

I knew it.

 

It’s not like it mattered to me she was with Jacob – let her be, but she lied to Edward. she lied about everything. And now pursuing Edward hadn’t worked, Jacob was the next case. 

A sudden crash and a sting at the back of my hand, made me aware of what I was doing. The plate I was just drying, had practically exploded under the force of my hands, which were shaking. A sharp end cut open my hand on the upper side and the blood seeped out. I was surprised there was even blood there since Charlie and Bella constantly reminded me in their thoughts I looked like a zombie.

But actual pain wasn’t there. no burn, no constant sting – nothing. I only saw the red haze that was blurring my sight. I smashed the remaining chards of the plate against the ground and stomped outside, pushing everything in my way aside. I was beyond furious.

I banged open the door, startling them and stopping their actions. Bella’s eyes widened upon seeing me. Jacob turned around and gasped at seeing my hand.

My hands were like claws, shaking and on one the blood was seeping down. my eyes were nearly completely black holes from the anger that almost visibly steamed out of my ears. My jaw had tightened and my breathing was irregular.

“Uhm..Melody…I ehm..” Bella stammered.

 

And after almost a month of no speaking, I finally let loose.

 

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!!” I roared, getting more closer to them in a little too vampiric manner. I didn’t care if the dog noticed. Bella backed away behind Jacob.

“How COULD you! You LIAR! You dirty backstabbing TYPHUS bitch!” I was out of control, so animalistic like I’d never been.

She completely mad! What the hell? Maybe she needs a psychiatrist?’

I came to stand in front of Jacob, jabbing my finger against his chest, my voice low and dark.

“I don’t need a fucking psychiatrist.”

 

Jacob’s eyes widened in shock just as Bella’s did. ‘What is going on? what did I do?’

I turned to Bella, “What did you do!? EVERYTHING! You RUINED it! I HATE YOU!” I screamed, the tears flowing down now.

Bella and Jacob were deadly silent and suddenly Jacob lunged for me, taking hold of me with his strong arms. I struggled.

“LET ME GO!”

He was already walking towards the house, not wanting to wake suspicious in the neighborhood. I fought against him, but my body , that hadn’t had any sustenance, was too weak.

When Bella had closed the door behind her, Jacob set me down and backed away, before I could hurt him.  

“Melody calm down! let us explain before you jump to any conclusions.” Jacob, said, his hand in front of him defensively.  I took deep breaths as I felt myself weakening again. my muscles lost their strain and I sunk to the ground, on my hands and knees, crying.

“Melody, I..We…Bella and I have a relationship. I’m sorry if that…hurts you…but it just happened, alright? And – “

“As if I’d be hurt about you having a relationship with the shrew.  I don’t care about you and your pathetic tribe!” I hissed at him, wiping away the tears from my cheeks. Jacob’s eyes widened as Bella’s eyebrows creased in utter confusion. She had no idea where I was referring too. not that she needed to know. Jacob sighed again, still defensive as Bella spoke up from behind his back.

“Look, Melody…I know you think this is awful, but really? Edward was the one who left me! it wasn’t the other way around!” she started to grouse at the end making me laugh cynically through my tears.

“Oh, right! And you secret visits to La Push were so innocent that everyone should believe you isn’t it?” I spat. Bella’s eyebrows creased again, as her mind wildly began searching for a reply. She was astonished that I knew of her dirty little secret.

‘….or maybe I can say it was for ..a school project? She’d take it right? Just with the right use of w – ‘

I huffed,” it wasn’t for a damn school project Bella, so don’t tell me a fake!  I’m mean really? Why don’t you just tell me, and your next ex-boyfriend here, that you only dated Edward because you needed a new fuck-toy!” I snapped loudly, pointing at her as realization dawned down on her.

‘Oh Lord! Does she…can she? Read minds? No it can’t be!’

 

                The little lion was out of the cage and not getting back anymore. I was angry, tired and sick of keeping my whole being a secret. Like I cared if she knew I could read her mind. she knew I had known of her lies all the time.

                “Yes, I can. I’ve been able too since I can remember. “ I snapped again, starting to get dizzy from the exertion I needed to give at that moment. Bella’s mouth hung open in astonishment, just as Jacob’s did.

“This is getting even more mad than before…” Bella squeaked before she fainted. Jacob ran up to her as I watched. He seemed to really care for Bella. and maybe she did for Jake too, but it still wasn’t fair how she’d treated Edward. how she was the main reason why he’d left. If Bella hadn’t been in my way, he’d already known of me.

I sighed, feeling the dizziness take over control in my system and crawled up the stairs, leaving Jacob and Bella behind me.

 

I had managed to crawl upstairs, which had taken me long enough. I didn’t bother to make sure if Bella and Jacob where alright, I didn’t really care. When I reached the bathroom I cleaned my bloodied hand, and bandaged it. luckily I was only a small cut which would heel soon enough without anyone noticing it had been there. after leaving the bathroom I shuffled, tired again, to my bedroom and crawled under the duvet, shivering from the cold. I had no idea why, but this all seemed so strange to me – the sleeping, the numbness, the cold. But it probably was quite normal seeing the stage I was in. how wrong I felt was indescribable. I closed my eyes, my head on the pillow and fell asleep for the second time that day, hoping that my little friend would appear in my dreams again. I was starting to get addicted to him and panicked when he wouldn’t appear or make me feel slightly better than worse.

 

I’d just slumbered down a bit, when my bedroom door was forcefully opened. I didn’t bother to look up to see whom it was.

“Melodiana Helena Marie Swan!”Charlie’s stern, gruff voice sounded through the room. He’d said my whole name, which should scare me. but if he wanted to ground me, I’d be only happy with that. Apart from school I never left the house anyway.

“What happened? Why has your sister fainted and why is there a shattered, bloodied plate laying in my kitchen?” he went on, standing at the side of my bed now. I sighed.

“I crushed the plate with my hand, so there’s where the blood comes from. And Bella just found out that her sister is a creepy mind-reader. Cool huh?” I answered in a careless, lifeless tone.

‘She what!? Melody do you have any idea about the risk!?’

“Telling her is just as risky as telling you, Dad.” I snarled back. I heard him sigh deeply.

“I’m going to explain Bella about it and you’ll be with us. She owns us , and especially you, and explanation Melody!” he yelled. I cringed from the volume, what made my head hurt even more. I didn’t reply, which irritated him.

‘You’re downstairs in five minutes.’ His stern voiced command rang through my head . Again no reply from me, as he shut the door.

 

As said, five minutes later, I was seated on a chair at the kitchen table with a wide-eyed Bella and a worried Charlie in front of me.

Bella’s mind was angry, confused and above all, bitchy as ever. Now she knew of my gift, she apparently couldn’t leave it to think about new nicknames for me. Zombie troll was the last trend she’d come up with.

“alright, girls. Bella I know this is really strange for you and all, but you need to listen to our story okay?” Charlie began, a slight tremor in his voice, something only someone with supersensitive hearing would know. Bella nodded, still wide-eyed for a reason.

“Melody, since you clearly refuse to talk much, I rather want you to listen and correct me when I’m wrong.” ‘And, please no temper tantrums. Your old Dad can’t handle those right now..’

Charlie had started to call my aggressive moments, or better said, vampiric moments, temper tantrums. But yeah…it was his own fault we ended up being partly Italian, mutants and full of the Mediterranean temperament. The quick tempered behavior sat surely in our blood. 

I shrugged as an answer to Charlie’s thoughts, crossing my arms in front of my chest and seeing Bella’s eyes shoot from me to Charlie. That was his cue to start the story.

“What just took place, Bella, was some kind of conversation between your sister and me. I asked her something through my thoughts, and she answered with the shrug. People who are not aware of her ability won’t get suspicious by just a shrug.” He explained, using his hands to gesture. Bella nodded again, her brow frowned.

“It started, probably, when she was born. You see – “ Charlie moved on telling her the memory I’d lost after the accident in the baseball stadium. Lots of my memories from at a very young age, were gone. Of course, my siblings and also Charlie told me again how it went – the same story, a little bit edited, he told Bella now.

It started after my birth. Scarlett was convinced I could already read minds then, because she showed me a memory of me studying them and answering their questions by body language. When I became older and started talking, it became much more noticeable that I had that gift. They all helped me to handle with it when I was close to humans who weren’t aware of my ability.

Before I came to Forks, Scarlett told me it was odious, to bare anything that held our secret. And even while Charlie knew some of the aspects, we never told him the complete stories of our beings. It would be too much for him.

I’d always been so different, even thought classmates and people I got along with never knew of this ability. When Edward came along, I started to feel that it could be normal. I wasn’t the only one. The thought of Edward made me cringe again, as the hole in my chest gaped, burning at the sides.

“So, if I ask her something in my head, then she’ll hear?” I heard Bella ask Charlie as I snapped back to the present again. I fought the urge to roll my eyes – it wasn’t like she didn’t know how it worked. Charlie nodded, looking at me, ‘Where did your mind go just then?’ I shrugged, not wanting to answer.

Bella looked at me, ‘So…did they know this all the time? You knew what Edward was thinking all the time? About Alice’s visions? Everything!?’

I sighed, cleared my throat and spoke awfully soft, “could you please ask one thing at the time – it’s a little difficult to follow.” I said, with the same lifeless tone where they’d gotten used to. Bella sat back in her chair and Charlie curiously watched as we communicated like this. It made him happy that Bella accepted it – that I was different. I let him believe that was true, since they didn’t even know the half of it.

“To answer your questions – no, no and yes.” I said, staring ahead of me.

“Wow…it’s truly unbelievable..”’You’re not a vampire now, are you?’

                I stiffened at first, but rolled my eyes and shook my head ‘no’. Bella smiled a little apologetic. She didn’t like it that I knew of her plan with Edward in the beginning of their, now clear, fake relationship, but she didn’t feel the need to feel guilty about it either. But that was just some ‘Renee’ chromosome. Renee, Bella’s mother, called her frequently lately. I didn’t get why, she did and reading minds over the phone line didn’t work. I felt my body sigh again. sometimes I did things in a daze, without noticing I did them.

                “Dad, can I go upstairs again? I’m sleepy?” I asked, feeling my eyes flutter close so suddenly. The tiredness came with such a rush. Charlie nodded and smiled a little, lifting his mustache. I used to laugh at it as a kid, but laughing was something I didn’t do anymore. I pushed myself away from the table but before I went to my room, I wanted to make one thing clear as ever.

                “If I find out you told someone about this, even Jacob, you’ll undergo the consequences.”

                And with that, I lazily stumbled up the stairs in search for my bed and my little bronze haired friend again. As soon as my head hit the soft pillow, I was out like a light. 

 

‘Hey! You’re back!’ his smile was so bright as his squealing, boyish voice echoed through the meadow. It was winter this time, snow covering the once there grass beneath me. He wore a soft hat that covered his ears, as a shawl surrounded his neck. On his hands were just as soft gloves, which fit with his reddish thick sweater. He never seemed to have it too cold or too warm, even though his perfectly shaped nose pinked by the freezing temperature. I smiled my brightest smile, the one I used to save for Edward. The boy came running up to me and hugged my legs, looking up at my face, his golden eyes, sparkling.

                ‘Come on, sit down with me on the blanket! It’s warm!’ he giggled. The next thing I knew, we were seated on a thick, blue, blanket in the middle of the meadow. As snowflakes cast down, I realized I wasn’t cold either. It was really warm instead. I looked down and noticed I was just wearing my pajamas – a white, cotton nightgown with long sleeves.

                ‘Shouldn’t we give each other a name? I don’t know your name and you don’t want to tell me.’ I remarked. The boy giggled again, making me smile.

                ‘Okay!’ he said, tapping his chin like he was thinking deeply. I chuckled and realized again, that I wasn’t able to read his mind – it was so peaceful, easy to be around him.

                ‘Maybe we can just use the first letters of our names?’ he suddenly said, enthusiastically. I frowned. ‘Okay, mine is M. what’s yours?’

                ‘Call me E.’

 

 

I heard a loud scream as I struggled to get out from under the thick duvet. When I’d kicked the whole thing off of me, I was gasping for air. The scream was clearly mine, since I was back in my bedroom again, which I actually never left. I felt so confused after this dream.

                He looked like Edward, acted like Edward and now the first letter of his name was E. Before I could stop it I burst out in tears, which was new – I hadn’t shown any emotion during the past weeks. Deep, loud sobs broke from my chest and I felt like I could cry rivers. My eyes hurt from the salty flow and I sniffled constantly. Wiping away the tears. Why did this happen so suddenly? This wasn’t normal – I hadn’t lost a tear in weeks.

                I cried further for what felt like hours, but turned out the be a full thirty minutes. I waited until my breathing went back to normal and sat back against the headboard of my bed. I sighed and got out to start yet another day without actually living. I put on a pair of black leggings and a very deep purple cotton dress without any shape in it. I stumbled downstairs, fully awake but not completely able to open my eyes yet, and dragged myself into the kitchen for the every morning pretence of breakfast.

                Charlie greeted me form his spot on a chair with the newspaper in front of him, as I got a bowl of cereal and sat in front of him. I shuffled the flakes around in the milk, without feeling the urge and want to actually eat it. I hadn’t eaten for weeks.

                The sudden bang on the table, startled me. I gasped, looking up, almost smashing the bowl from the table. Charlie had banged his fist on the table, hard.

                “This CAN NOT continue!! I’m DONE with it!” he yelled, his eyes squeezed together in anger with his jaw tight. I gave him a look of disbelief.

                What the hell did I do now!?

 

                “You’re going home! I’m sending you back to LA, to your siblings. I already called Scarlett about this. She’s awfully worried about you Melody!” he raged on. My face turned in to a grimace. My behavior towards him had been impeccable. It seemed that my plan to leave Charlie out of my depression, had failed vastly.

                “What did I do?” I asked, chagrinned and feeling like I could cry all over again. Charlie looked at me with an angry I’m-your-dad face. Even his ever happy mustache hated me now.

                “You haven’t done a thing. That’s the whole point. You never do a thing.” He went on. I didn’t say anything back.

                “You don’t eat, you barely talk, you don’t even prepare dinner anymore, and if I start about the Cullens you get lunatic! It’s unhealthy!” he bellowed. I closed my eyes because I felt ashamed. He was right, but I couldn’t help it. Every single tick of the second-hand hurts, like the pulse of blood beneath a bruise. Time passes irregularly, but it does pass. Living like this for eternity made me want to end myself. I couldn’t endure the endless, slow drag of what people called life. But if I’d end myself, Fiorenza and the Volturi would win. They’d get what they craved for without having to make their hands dirty. So instead of the easy way, I banned myself to this never ending painful existence.

                “Look, it’s not that I don’t want you here, I do. I’m your father and I love y – “

                “Don’t say it.” I interrupted him darkly, my voice breaking with the tears that hadn’t spilled yet. the hurt look on my father’s face made me feel guilty, somewhere in the back of my head. I didn’t want to hear those empty words.

                “I don’t get it dad…do I have to break all the rules now?” I faked innocence. I knew exactly what he meant, but to talk about it stung.

                “Well….it would be better than this…listless moping!” he barked. I cringed. That was a shot right on target.

                “I’m not moping,” I replied. I’d wanted to keep all the kinds of sadness away from Charlie, moping included.

                “it’s the wrong choice of words,” he admitted,” moping would even be better. Than it looks like you’re doing at least something. You’re just…lifeless Melody. That’s it. you’re lifeless. You don’t eat, drink or even hunt! You look like a walking skeleton with a thin amount of flesh covering the bones. There’s no sparkle in your eyes. I only see those black holes that suck you into the darkest ends. You don’t smile anymore, not even a slight tug upwards from your lips. you just stare.” I saw it in his mind, what he meant. I heard how much it pained him to see me like this. My lips started trembling as my eyes welled up with the tears, that now were ready to stream.

                “I’m sorry dad…I’m sorry…” I cried as the tears flowed down. Charlie sighed, somewhat happy with the fact I was showing tears.

                “you don’t need to apologize, honey, I just think you might need some professional help.” Charlie suggested. I thought about that.

                “you want to send me to a psychiatrist?” I asked in the ever lifeless tone and the zombie stare he had mentioned.

                “If that helps you, yes.”

                I let out a cynical, harsh laugh and gave him a look of warning. “Dad, a psychiatrist  will only help if the person in dispute will tell the whole truth. If you want me to spend the rest of my life in an isolation cell, than I probably should go. I’m not human dad! So the human help won’t get me anywhere!” I’d pitched my voice, my temper was getting away with me.

                Charlie realized what I meant, “but you don’t want to go back to your siblings either. They can help you with this.”

                There, he had a point again. but I didn’t want to leave Forks. If I’d go, I’d lose the memories too fast. Then it would be like he never existed. My heart couldn’t bear more loss.

                Charlie’s fist hit the table again. “Melodiana , we both know what’s going on here and it not healthy. They never once let hear a thing from them. No letter, email not even a phone call! You can’t wait forever to get them back.” He bellowed.  I sniffled as I felt the sting of the gaping hole again. this was a forbidden subject, and yet he started talking about it.  to stay in Forks I only had one idea left.

                “Dad, I have to go to school. I’ll go out with Bella tonight. A girls night out.” I said, standing up from my chair without waiting for an answer. I stepped in my black ankle Ugg boots and left through the door before Charlie could answer.

                I got in the car and drove to school. Bella was already there since he had to start the first hour. I waited in my car on the parking lot until I heard the bell ring. I didn’t want to see the stares and hear the hatred thoughts I heard daily. I couldn’t take it anymore.

                When I heard the monotone buzzing sound, I got out and struggled to get my bag around my shoulders. I was really weak, which shocked me. I looked down at my hands as I stumbled over the parking lot through the rain. The bag was so heavy. I looked down at my hands and gasped. I could easily see the bones sticking up against my pale, gray skin. I didn’t realize I was thus skinny. I snapped my eyes away from my hand, trying to ignore the threatening crying jag and went inside.

                During math, I sat next to Jessica Stanley. She never spoke to me and didn’t felt the need to actually say her snarky remarks. She left them in her head. Not that it changed a thing – I heard them anyway. But when I heard her last thought before class ended, I quickly put my hand underneath the sleeves of my cotton dress.

                ‘Jesus! Is she that depressive that she starts cutting herself now too?’  she thought as she walked away out of the door without giving me a gaze. My eyes shot to the place she meant. I sighed in relief, afraid that I might’ve actually done it without noticing. The wound she meant, was the one form the plate I’d shattered and a few little wounds were surrounding it. I shook my head and tilted my bag from the ground with some effort. I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to lessen the dizziness and started walking to my next class.

                Unfortunately, we were busy with Romeo and Juliet during English class. I zoned out at the beginning, not wanting to hear about the love story, to get back into my daily daze at the end of the long hour. I almost fell over as I slung my bag over my shoulder again but saved myself by grabbing the doorpost. I wanted to get some sleep again.

                When I’d reached the cafeteria for lunch, the nervousness started to crawl my skin. I didn’t know why, but the idea of having to cross the room to reach Bella’s table and ask her if she’d like to go and do something nice that night, freaked me out. I took a deep breath and stood up, ignoring the stares I got from most people. When I neared their table, Bella turned around, her eyes wide as she saw me. ‘God, Melody! You look awful!’ she sounded worried but I was having none of it. people close to me only seemed to lie. I didn’t react to her thought and came to stand in front of her.

                “Hey Bella.” I croaked, cringing because of it. Bella smiled warmly at me, like a real sister should. It pained me.

                “Hey. What’s up?” she asked in return, eyeing my facial expressions and the hand where Jessica told her about.

                “I…eh…well I was thinking…I mean…what about we go out doing some…sisterly bonding? We can uh…go to a movie or something else?” I stammered, waiting for the blush to arrive, but it never came. Sure, I was partly undead, but now I really started to look like one.

                Bella was surprised by my suggestion, just like the other girls at her table. She thought about where to go for a minute before answering, “Sure, Melody. If that’s what you want to do.” She shrugged indifferently, but in her mind she was glad I at least tried to make something of it. she and Charlie clearly had been talking about me this morning, the reason for her peaceful attitude towards me. I tried to make my lips change into a small, where I barely succeeded in.

                “We’ll  talk about plans later okay?” she said. I nodded, “Okay.”

                With that I turned around again, my face falling in a deep sigh. I only hoped this would be the key to stay in Forks. 

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