Starless Sky [completed]

After having spend the summer with the Cullens, in LA and with Charlie; Melody gets back to Forks High School. it's a brand new year full of unexpected surprises and things you'd never thought were existing.

After a small incident, things go wrong - Bella gets depressive and Melody runs away.
But what happens if the past all comes flooding back? is there danger lurking?

What if she can't protect her family from herself and the ghosths of her past? And worse.. how will Edward react?

Starless Sky is the sequel to Moon Girl

IMPORTANT:

This story is RATED 18+ / NC-17 which means the following:

- violence
- angst
- cursing
- sexual acts/ suggestive themes

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13. Interruption + Tension + Breaking

  The pain was unbearable. I’d thought that after Edward left it was like this, but I was wrong all this time. it was like they burned me from the inside out. Achingly slow, cruel and above all painful as the worst kind of hell existing.

                They surrounded me in a circle, as snow lay on the ground beneath me. Their black capes drafted caused by the slight breeze of air.

                And I was in the middle of them, waiting, wanting and craving. But they didn’t want to give me what I wanted the most. And what I wanted was what they had taken away from me.

               

‘And here we meet again, Melló-di-anná.’ He drawled out my name, dragging it along his vile tongue. His Italian accent was something that bothered me till no end. His dirty smirk made the hairs in my neck stand straight. His crimson red eyes only seemed to fuel my raging fury. I was lunatic, crazed – a woman on a mission.

‘I never expected to see you here. You are very brave, child, to even try to fight me, us.’ he drawled again as he paced from side to side, giving his brothers sneering looks.

‘Avete avuto da me qualcosa che voglio.’ I replied darkly, my eyes dry from the cutting cold air and the salty tears that were afraid to fall. He laughed only finding all this amusing. I squeezed my eyes.

‘Well, I understand that, dolcezza, but we can’t give it back to you.’ He smirked again as I felt sick at his use of the word sweetheart. The guards, even as his brothers started laughing at me.

‘Listen, Aro, give him back to me and no harm will be done.’ I practically growled at him. I was so angry, so out of my mind and that only to protect what had become my everything.

Aro thought it must be funny, laughing as much as he did. the sound freaked me out.

‘Then join us, The almighty Volturi. Allora si dovrà averlo. But seeing you don’t want to, I don’t see much of a choice here than to portarlo con me’. He grinned, all nonchalant like I wasn’t any danger for him at all. But I was and he knew that all too well. I kept staring at him with my angry, hateful and blazing golden eyes. Aro sighed, all an act of course before deciding. His decision was everything that portrayed how he was – a vile, cruel and above all filthy heinous creature. He didn’t even deserve to be vampire, let alone ‘ruling’ over them.

‘Bring the boy here.’ He ushered with his hand, snapping his fingers together. The evil twin – Jane and Alec – tugged the little body in front of Aro. He only looked at me, his golden eyes sad and his happy lips curved downwards in a scowl. As if he knew what his future would be.

‘Intelligente non è lui? He’s keeping his mouth shut so no one would hurt his best friend.’ Aro turned towards him, my only real memory I and of Edward.

‘Isn’t that true, E’ Are whispered in his ear. E didn’t even flinch – he just nodded. Aro grinned evilly again.

‘It’s too bad we can’t fulfill your wish. And since M doesn’t want to choose what we give her, you have to do it.’ he whispered further. E closed his eyes as I watched painfully, wishing I could’ve read his mind.

‘What’s it going to be, little boy? Vivo o morto?’

E opened his eyes and I knew what he’d do. My heart sank, my body revolted and I felt like they ripped me apart, piece by piece and limb by limb.

‘No! non si può! Dallo a me ORA!’ I bellowed, as fear gripped my mind, dazing me as I sank to ground on my knees. I couldn’t fight them, I couldn’t without having us killed both.

‘Go, child, say goodbye.’ Aro ushered, by pushing E slightly on the back. He stumbled over to me and stopped at my knees.

‘E, no, please! We can find a way to get you out of here!’I pleaded, but he shook his head as a tear fell down his now ashen white cheek. No blush, no smile and no sparkling eyes.

‘I love you.’ Was the only thing he said, before Jane and Alec grabbed him away from me, I wanted to fight them but before I was even able to shield myself, Jane cast her eyes on me, smiled and the next thing I knew I was gurgling, screaming, whimpering and withering on the snowed ground. The pain was excruciating losing E too, was even worse.

‘Fino Mai Addio, Melló-di-anná.’

I screeched, I tossed, turned and cried until two sets of hands enclosed me. my eyes flew open and I started sobbing. This was the worst nightmare I ever had – my body was in physical pain of what I had to endure. And now E was really gone.

Charlie’s hands were around my upper arms while Bella’s hands brushed the hair out of my face in an attempt to sooth me. my screams had terrified her, just as my harsh Italian words had. The sleep talking obviously never left.

“It’s alright now, Melody, you’re fine. No one is going to hurt you.” Charlie reassured me. Bella started rubbing my back. As my breathing returned to normal, I realized I wasn’t in my bedroom.

“Why am I laying on the couch?” I asked hoarse from the screaming I’d done during that horrendous nightmare. Charlie frowned. ‘don’t you remember…’

“You woke up early this morning, around six, and went here to watch some TV. When I got back from the station I saw you had fallen asleep so I put the TV on stand-by. Bella and I quickly left for a small visit to the bakery to get us breakfast and then we heard you screaming.” He explained. I nodded, recalling that I’d woken early, vomited again and decided to hang on the couch. Charlie was needed at the station in the early morning for some kind of issue that needed to be spoken about. I turned to Bella and was astonished upon seeing her crying.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, confused as I wiped the dried tears from my face. Charlie left the couch to get me hot chocolate again.

“I...I never once had a feeling that a nightmare could be so terrifying. How you screamed and cried out in pain…I was so scared.” Bella said, trying to laugh it off. ‘You should imagine how worried we got when we entered the house and heard you screaming like that. We thought someone was hurting you.’  Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts. I lay my hand upon her shoulder making her look at me.

“Hey, we might not have the best sister bond ever, but I do care for you Bella – remember that.” I said, lifting the right side of my mouth as it curled up in a half smile. Bella nodded.

“Same here Melody, even if you’d think it’s not true.” She replied, before taking me into a hug.

 

Bella let of me after a minute or so and sat back on the couch. “Where…was the nightmare about?” she questioned, sipping at the cup of hot chocolate Charlie just handed her. He joined us on the couch. I frowned, shivering at the memory. But I couldn’t tell her about it.

“I can’t remember most of it. probably the same as the past weeks.” I answered her, averting my eyes. Four weeks – it had been four weeks since they left and I already had trouble dealing with that.

 

The sudden ring of the house telephone, made me look up. Charlie hurried with an irritated sigh to the kitchen to answer it.

                “Charlie Swan speaking.” I heard him say, his voice alert – he didn’t knew the number. The one on the other side of the line started talking, which I wasn’t able to hear.

                “Again? Are they hurt?” his voice was enhanced with an authorial tone, his ‘cop’ voice.

 

 ‘It’s probably because of those attacks…’  Bella thought as she stood up to leave – she was planning on going to the Rez’ until they’d come over for dinner that evening.

“What attacks?” I asked. Bella turned around to face me, her face troubled. She sighed as she grabbed her shoes and sat back next to me again, putting them on.

“A lot of hikers have been attacked last week. Some people claim they’ve seen a bear, but I’m sure a bear doesn’t kill like this..” she wandered off, frowning.

“Kill? Those people were killed?” I questioned as fear gripped my chest. This wasn’t any good.

“Yes, unfortunately…most of them did. one survived and keeps telling about a bear.” She explained, starting with her next foot and putting her shoe on.

“What does the police reports say?” I asked, staring ahead of me. I had a feeling, a strange uncomfortable feeling.

“…killed by some animal.” Bella said, looking at me. ‘probably the same animals that tried to kill us before summer…’

“Do you think….Victoria?” I squeaked, afraid of what might happen next.

“Or that French guy…what’s his name again?”

“Laurent.” I stated, letting my head drop in my hands. If it was true that they were back they were obviously coming back for us. How in the world was I going to protect a whole town from vampire attacks when I was so weak?

“Melody don’t worry. The police is trying to catch them.” Bella said patting my shoulder and getting up from the couch. I huffed at her remark, “Bella, seriously. Do you honestly think that if we’re talking about vampires here, that Charlie or whatever deputy would catch them? It will be their dead.” I said, looking straight at her, my eyes stern. ‘Shit!’

“blood seems a better word.” I said sarcastically, sighing and dropping back against the couch.

“Melody how are we going to fix th – “ Bella was interrupted by Charlie who rounded the corner, putting on his revolver case and jacket.

 

“Bells, Mells – I need to head to the station. There’s been another attack and we try to find out what it could’ve been. Someone who wasn’t attacked left a tip about the animal being a massive black wolf. I’ll be home in time for dinner, I promise.” Charlie rushed as he started walking to the front door. I jumped form the couch to followed him. Bella stayed behind and wouldn’t hear what I’d say.

“Dad, wait!” I exclaimed, following him to the door where he was about to open it. “honestly Melody, I’ll be safe – always am.”

“no, Dad you don’t get it! let me speak first please?” I pleaded, waving with my hands to explain my want. Charlie turned around, a sign for me to launch out. I closed the distance and started whispering.

“there’s a huge possibility that this animal turns out to be a vampire.” I admitted, hearing Charlie’s gasp. “please be as careful as you can and search for fingerprints from blood. If you know, tell me and I’ll fix this.” I finished, swallowing and knowing well enough what I’d just said and what kind of responsibility there would be laying on my shoulders if Charlie indeed would find the fingerprints.

“Melody, I’m not going to let you get in danger. You’re weak, I can see that.” He argued, opening the door.

“Dad, it more risky for you than for me. I know you don’t everything about us but let me assure you we use more than actual weapons. Guns won’t help, speed won’t help, knives won’t – nothing. So please if you find this let me know.”  I urged, my voice strong and sure, even though I wasn’t sure if I’d dare this. Charlie looked at me, hard in the eyes. 

‘I don’t like this at all – but I trust you. I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

 

I nodded, closed my eyes and waited for the sound of his cruiser leaving the driveway. Tears prickled and I knew that crying would be the best medicine for stress right now.

“Melody, I’m going to the Rez’. Are you sure you can handle doing the groceries? Dad left the list on the kitchen table.”  I heard Bella getting near, so I quickly wiped my face to get it tears free, before turning around to meet her.

“Oh, yeah sure. I’ll be fine. I think it’s good for me to get some..fresh air.” I said. Bella nodded told me to keep relaxed and left.

I parked my black car into a spot on the parking lot next to the supermarket. Charlie had written a list with what we needed for dinner tonight and I suggested to get it. it wasn’t like I had something better to do and being in the house alone would only give me the chance to worry about the vampires that were possibly in town. I was a bit mad, though that they hadn’t told me about it – I’m not made of glass.

I got a cart and headed inside, feeling the heater that blew down on me by entering warm me up slightly. It was really cold outside, the perfect weather for the twenty-fifth of December.

Inside I made sure to get all the things we’d need for dinner and I was surprised to able to find all of it so fast. When I found the row with sweets, candy and chocolate, I was hungry all over again. if I didn’t stop eating so much soon, I’d gain weight. I grabbed a can of jelly beans, skittles three chocolate bars and a bag of sours gummies. With a satisfied grin I went for the checkout. The cart was fully loaded and started to set it all on the conveyer. The cashier made sure to get all of it on the check as I load it back in the cart after. I paid with my black credit card and left the supermarket again, already sucking on one of the chocolate bars and forgetting al my worries for the next hours of the day until I’d face Jacob, Billy and Bella again.

 

Once home, I carried the bags with all the groceries inside and dropped them on the kitchen table – setting them into the cabinets would be useless since I needed it anyway.

I’d searched the Internet for a few recipes I could make. In the Swan’s house we weren’t quite fans of roasted turkey. For tonight I’d go with a three course menu – appetizer, main course and dessert.

I made sure to get everything set before cooking. I started out with preparing the chicken because the main course would take the longest. I already freed the oven to keep everything that was done warm enough – for everything that had to be roasted, I could use the microwave.

While everything was nicely roasting, simmering and cooking I freed the kitchen table from all the mess we usually make and set it up. from the living room I brought a small table that held the same height as our kitchen table and set it next to it. over both tables, I stretched a neat tablecloth and placed plates, forks, knives and spoons on the exact right places. To not get into trouble of having to sit next to Bella, Billy or Jacob, I’d made nameplates. Bella and Jake next to one another, Billy at the head of the table for his wheelchair and my own safety. Me face to face with Bella and Charlie next to me, who would face Jacob.

When I was happy with the result, went further with cooking and once that was all done, I got upstairs to change. Bella would be here within less than five minutes and Charlie had texted me he was on his way home. I was so relived to read he was fine and not harmed during his search for this ‘animal’.  It was bad however, that there still was any certainty if it was a vampire or not.

 

Just when I’d pulled on my white under dress, the bell rang. I cursed, walking downstairs, not caring I was in my underwear since I expected Bella and reached for the front door.

“You know, you’ve could’ve open – “ I stopped talking my smart-ass comment as I realized she wasn’t alone. Jacob and Billy were behind her smiling warily. ‘Charlie did say she lost it and I think he’s more than right.’  Billy’s mind rang through my head as a reminder I was standing in the doorway in a white lingerie under-dress.

“Uhm…Melody? You do realize you’re – “ Bella started, but I cut her off, waving my hand as I felt the warmth of my blush creep into my cheeks for the first time in weeks.

“Yeah, I know – I didn’t expect that they’d be with you. Sorry.” I shrugged, getting inside and letting them all through. Bella made sure to get them coffee in the living room while I quickly went back upstairs again.  In the bathroom I made up my hair in a sideways, thick, messy fish-braid and applied a light touch of makeup.

When I wanted to leave to put on my dress, I all but jumped back into the bathroom, taking my hair away just in time before throwing p everything that had lasted in my stomach for the day.

I let out a heavy, frustrated sigh, “Aw, come on! Do you hate me or something?” I whined, talking to my stomach. The minute I spoke, my belly tightened, as if it replied.

“Well, sorry for the fact I didn’t feed you enough the last weeks, but you can’t keep blaming me for penguin’s sake!” I whined further, standing up from the ground and flushing the toilet. Just as I stood upright and got my balance, a medium pain shot through at the same place where it had tightened. I shrank down, my hand flying to the place beneath my navel and above my pubic bone. It was like someone kicked me there only the weird thing was – I was kicked from the inside.

“What the…” I froze, feeling with my hand over the skin of my belly. I was shocked to feel that the bump I’d felt when I was out shopping with Bella, had grown. I stumbled to the large mirror and tugged up my under-dress until my waist, before laying my hands back on my belly again.

The skin was soft, but felt hard underneath, like it was strained. Panicking I turned to my profile, to see it. I let out a shaky gasp upon actually seeing the bump. It wasn’t huge, but underneath my tight shirts it would be easily seen. I didn’t want to believe or even consider it, but that kick from inside weren’t my intestines.

Had Bella actually been right with her joke? I brushed over the skin again and strangely enough my whole body warmed up – it was a very happy feeling.

Yes. Maybe. Probably not.

But still – it wasn’t possible since Edward was the only man I’d shared my bed with and he was incapable of conceiving children. And I had just started birth control at the time.

But why then, did I feel like it was true? Why did I want it to be true?

 

A loud bounce on the bathroom door, made me look up, startled. “Melody? You ready yet? We’re hungry.” I heard Bella chuckle from the other side of the door. I quickly pushed the dress down and grabbed the green dress I’d bought with Bella, to chuck it over my head.

“Yeah, sorry I got…sidetracked.” I yelled back so she could hear me. I stuck my arms into the sleeves and let it flow around my body, being so, so glad that I’d chosen a wide dress. Even though I still didn’t know what it was – the others didn’t have to jump in conclusions either.

                I quickly zipped the garment close at the side and swung open the bathroom door. Bella stood by the stairs, in her red dress, smiling. ‘Hey, looks good on you.’

                “You too, Bells.” I replied absentmindedly as we took the stairs. Just don’t think about it Melody, you can figure this all out tomorrow, I kept ranting into my head as we entered the kitchen.

                “There are my pretty daughters.” Charlie exclaimed proudly “let’s eat!”

 

                Bella took her seat next to Jacob and I am demy way to the kitchen counter to get out appetizer. I picked two plates at the time and set them in front of Billy and Jacob. They eyed the cakes suspiciously, as I set two plates by Bella and Charlie. The last one was for myself and as I took a seat, I explained what I’d prepared.

                “alright, so ehm… these are out appetizer and it’s…crab cakes with Horseradish cream.” I stammered.

                “Well, Merry Christmas everybody!”Charlie exclaimed happily before taking a fork and knife to taste the crab cakes. The others did as well and I waited anxiously for their reactions. I needed the distractions right now until the next day.

                To my relief, they all nodded approvingly and I sighed deeply, closing my eyes as I felt my belly tighten again. Thankfully I didn’t feel the need to run and vomit. I started eating the crab cakes myself and was glad it indeed tasted good. The main course of roasted chicken and fried potatoes and the dessert of mini Cassata with chocolate that followed where approved too.

 

                The conversation at the table started out very innocent – no heavy subjects and just normal things. That was until Billy mentioned the whole animal killing stuff, looking straight at me.

                “so, Charlie, did you find anything in the woods?” he asked, his small grey eyes looking at me. he knew something. I averted my eyes and looked at Charlie who had creased his brows in worry.

                “No, nothing where we could rely evidence on. luckily there haven’t been any kills since yesterday.” ‘Melody I found the blood prints you asked about.’

                I stifled the gasp and tightened my hands around the sides of my chair, straining not to splinter it. that would receive weird looks.

                When a flash of memory assaulted me I couldn’t stop the small gasp though.

 

                ‘Sam! The leech is up to something! We need to track him down before he kills more humans!’ it was Jacob’s mind, Jacob’s memory. The tall guy in front of him seemed familiar to me. ‘Jake, Quil, Embry! Paul says he’s south! Hurry and rip his damn head off!’ he yelled. It was Sam. Sam Uley! The guy from the beach last year when Jacob told us the story about the cold ones.

                The next memory was how they followed the leech. He was dark, had dreadlocks and blood red eyes.

                Laurent.

                Before I could even start worrying about it, I saw how two wolves, a black one and a grey one, ripped him into pieces, before throwing a lighter and burning him into ashes.

 

                The feeling of Charlie tugging at my shoulder pushed me back to the present again. I blinked furiously a few times, staring at Jacob who stared back. As realization hit, his eyes went wide.

                ‘Shit! She just saw! She read my mind!’

 

“Melody, Are you alright?”Billy asked, slyly. I fixated my gaze on him, still a bit shocked from what I’d seen.

“Yes. I think I’m just tired, that’s all.” I lied, keeping my piercing gaze at the old native American.

‘I don’t like it. she’s practically glowing and her skin is too pale – way too pale.’

 

For the remainder of the evening the atmosphere stayed tense, and Billy seemed to keep me in his sight the whole time. like he was afraid I’d suddenly do something unnatural.

The fact that I just found out that Jacob was one of the werewolves, the shape shifters, made me watch him all the time. Did Bella know?

 

Around midnight, Jake and Billy decided it was late enough. they left as I pretended to have fallen asleep on the couch. Everything had become a vast mess.

Edward and the Cullens were gone.

Jacob appeared to be a werewolf.

There was some serial killer, probably a vampire wandering around town.

Billy seemed to know that I wasn’t human.

Laurent was in Forks, clearly to find me – now he was a pile of ashes.

I was sleepy, pale, skinny and kept throwing up everything that came in. Next to that I completely lost my mind by talking to my upset stomach.

 

And the possibility that I might be impossibly pregnant with Edward’s child turned everything upside down.

 

The following morning when I woke up, I got extremely jumpy – every time I’d hear something or see something move in the corner of my eyes, I’d gasp or startle from it. Downstairs I waited impatiently for Charlie and Bella to leave for the day.

When Bella finally left to go to La Push, it was just me and Charlie at the kitchen table.

“How are you feeling lately?” he suddenly asked as I was rummaging through the refrigerator again, seeking for something to silence my growling stomach. I straightened myself, afraid of the question but I knew somehow that he’d ask it sooner or later. Better now than…later this afternoon.

“I’m…better than I was. It goes. I’m worried about the whole attack thing, though…” I answered as honest as I could. I couldn’t tell Charlie that he might be becoming grandpa again anytime soon. I shivered from the thought of his eventual reaction.

Charlie studied my face for any open lies, but there weren’t any – I’d improved my ‘mask’ skills since they left. The gaping hole in my chest was enough to keep the neutral, empty and emotionless facial expressions without being the open book I usually was.

“That’s good to hear. And yes, I understand. That’s where I wanted to speak about with you for a minute?” it sounded like a question and I knew he gave me the chance to say no, but I also knew how much he wanted to understand us, our kind and what we were going through.

“what do you want to know?” I asked, sitting down in front of him. it seemed like my breakfast had to wait , even though my belly disapproved. Bad luck for you, Bumpy.

“Well, I saw how you reacted after my thought about the blood prints. But I had a feeling there was more going on.” Charlie asked, hesitating if he’d chosen the right words.

“Oh that, uhm…it wasn’t exactly my reaction to the blood prints. I..remembered something that had to do with a vampire I met in the past, “ I glanced at Charlie who tried to act like this was very normal. He wanted to get used to it. ,”he’s been on of those killers and – “

“Has been?” Charlie suddenly questioned with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, well…he’s nothing more than a pile of ashes now.” I admitted, holding my breath, awaiting his reaction.

“What? did you..?” his eyes were wide open and I was glad he wasn’t taking a sip of his coffee at the moment. I’ll earlier kill someone when I’m bound to use the Heimlich-maneuver, instead of saving someone.

“No, dad I didn’t….something else did though. I just saw it.” a lie. Again. I just couldn’t tell Charlie about Jacob and Billy being involved in this weird mythical world.

“Okay…so, what are your plans for today?” he asked further ignoring what I’d just admitted. It was difficult for him to deal with all this.

“Ehm…nothing special…I do need to head for the drugstore for…medication and stuff.” I drawled, trying to not lock eyes with him as much as I could. I didn’t like lying to Charlie about the ‘normal’ things. Not that this was normal either, but it did happen frequently to girls my age. Okay, well, they were a year older on their youngest…

“That’s good, because I wanted to ask you if you could pick up my medication? I called the medicine-line and they have it ready for me.” Charlie replied, glad with the fact I was getting out of the house to do something. I smiled slightly as he stood up from his chair, throwing on his jacket.

“so, I’m heading to the station. I’ll be back around seven tonight since I’m having the late shift today…I’m sorry I can’t spent dinner with you Mells…do you mind being alone?”

“No, dad, it’s fine. And for the record – we’re family and I’m quite like you so I don’t mind being alone at all.” I answered. I was actually glad he would be home alter than usual and Bella would be at La Push for the whole night. Like that I wouldn’t have to walk in on one of them this afternoon. Talk about awkward.

“Alright, keep calm kiddo.” Charlie said, leaving the kitchen and heading to the front door.

“Be safe dad!” I yelled after him, slowly getting up form my chair and walking to the refrigerator to open the door.

“Always am, Melody.” I heard him call back before the door closed. I licked my lips and dived into the refrigerator. Food…

 

After having an enormous breakfast, I sank back in my chair at the kitchen table and closed my eyes. Bumpy seemed to be very happy with having food and so was I. I laid my hands down on my belly and rubbed it, relaxing and sighing out of contentment. It was so weird. I didn’t even know if it was possible yet, and here I sat, thinking to my belly, already having nicknamed it and acting like I needed to take care of it.

I opened my eyes gain after a while. The bright light hurt my eyes and I believed I might’ve napped for a while. I held my breath, knowing exactly what I had to do. Anxiously, I got up and left the kitchen to get upstairs to dress. I chose a pair of black leggings and a wide, long sweatshirt that covered my butt. Downstairs I chucked into my grey converse and after grabbing my purse and pulling on my thick winter jacket, I left the house.

 

Nervously, I drove through town, praying that I wouldn’t meet anyone from school while I was on a mission. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this had to be nonsense. Maybe I was this lost, that I wanted Edward’s baby, so my body actually started acting and thinking I was pregnant. It happened a lot with desperate women. And I was beyond desperate. Like always, thinking of him set my torn heart on fire and felt it like my limbs were being ripped from my body, slowly, agitating and cruelly. I felt the same when I lost E in my dreams. He’d been my last hold on, the last visual memory of Edward because they looked so much alike.

 

As I reached the drugstore, I tried very hard not to cry, taking deep breaths. The small parking lot was empty, to my relief. I got out of my black fiat and made my way to the entrance. Upon opening the door, there was this annoying bell that announced a customer, making me cringe.

“Good morning, miss. Can I help you with something?” the pharmacist asked me in a friendly tone. She was blond and in her thirties I supposed. I blushed, debating what to do.

“Ehm…I had to pick up my dad’s medication.” I replied, taking stance opposite her, on the other side of the counter. She nodded and walked back, searching for the meds in the locker kind of drawers behind her.

“it’s for Chief Swan, isn’t it?” she asked, with her back to me and still searching through the drawers. I answered that it was, realizing she knew who I was and that she’d also know if I asked for the test. It appeared that I’d need to take the risk. The saleswoman turned back to me and set down the bag of medics in front of me.

“Here you go, it’s all insured so you won’t have to pay extra costs.” She told me friendly, the corners of her mouth curled upwards in a smile. I blushed a furious red, looking down at my feet as I retrieved the package from the counter.

“Could you, uhm…show me where I can find…” I took a deep breath and swallowed, “pregnancy tests?”

 

The saleswoman looked up with an shocked but apologetic look on her face. I feared for the worst but was surprised when I heard her thoughts, ‘Poor girl, I remember being that nervous either…wow, it’s been twenty years ago already….he’s growing so fast…’

I was still looking down as I felt her hand on my shoulder. “don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone – we have secrecy obligation here.” She said, reassuringly before heading off to a section in the far back of the shop, with me following her. When she stopped I looked up, seeing all kinds of tests hanging there. it overwhelmed me.

“I need to ask you a few questions, though. Sometimes young girls think too fast that they might be pregnant.” The pharmacist explained. I cringed at her words but nodded.

“Well, I take it you are sexually active?” she asked, looking straight at me. I cleared my throat, flushing brightly red. “Yes.”

“if it is possible, how far along do you think you are?”

“A month.” I whispered.

“Did your period lack this month? Or isn’t it due yet?”

I gasped at that. Shit! I had to menstruate three days ago.

“Yes…I even forgot thinking about it, but yes. I’m late.”  I said as I looked at her. I saw her nodding and in her mind she considered all kinds of tests that might work best for me.

“Are there any other symptoms which alarmed you?”

I nodded heavily, “Yeah, I eat quite much and I’m mostly tired. My dreams are really realistic and…” I hesitated. There had to be something more. My eyes widened as I realized. 
“I dreamt about a little boy.”

The pharmacist nodded again and picked something out of the rackets. She held it up for me but was reminded of something.

“I’d like to give you the most detailed test, since you think it’s only a month, but it costs a lot. Does that matter or – “

“ I don’t mind the costs. I just need to know.” I quickly interrupted her, still blushing. The pharmacist indicated by waving with her hand that she found the right one.

“This test gives you highly detailed information and data. It won’t only tell you if you’re pregnant, but also how long and probably which date the fetus was conceived.” She explained to me. I nodded. “alright, I’ll take it.” I said, my voice soft. I was really doing this, considering it. movements from inside made me all warm inside. Yes, Bumpy, we’re going to check if you’re really there.

The pharmacist asked me if I needed anything else, which I declined and I paid. Cash of course – I wouldn’t want my brothers or anyone to see where I spent my money on.

Together with the medics for Charlie and the pregnancy test deeply hidden in a paper bag I left the drugstore to go home.

 

I was one nervous wreck on the road to the house. My feelings and emotions were struck between being dreadful, euphoric and utterly hurt. The dread came from the fact that I was only fifteen and probably pregnant without anyone knowing, except from the man himself, that I wasn’t a virgin anymore. only the idea of having to tell Charlie or my brothers freaked me out. My sisters would feel kind off sympathized, though.

The euphoria came from the fact that I wanted it – no needed it. it would be the one only and last thing that would keep reminding me of him, of his existence when the memories would fade. The hurt was because of the same – he wasn’t here. He wouldn’t share this with me or even be happy about it. I couldn’t even reach him….

When I shut off the engine at returning from my sneaky trip, I realized I was crying. I sight and rolled my eyes at myself. I acted like pregnant woman. How ironic.

Inside I dropped Charlie’s meds on the table and searched the house for anyone. Luckily there wasn’t anyone to find. With a sigh of relieve I shrugged off my coat and kicked off my shoes before taking the test out of the paper bag and reading the descriptions. It was clear fast enough.

I had to pee on a fucking stick.

It’s weird.

I suppressed a giggle of the crazy state I was in and went to the refrigerator, one of my new best friends since the real ones left me, and started drinking out of a can of orange juice.

I sat, waited, tapped my fingers rhythmically on the table and waited much more.

When I felt the need to pee I grabbed the test, making sure I didn’t leave anything behind and rushed up the stairs.

Once in the bathroom, I pushed my leggings down my legs, sat down in the toilet, stuck the stick in between and did what I needed to do.

 

And now it was time for more waiting, only those minutes seemed like hours. I laid the test down on the wash table and waited, pacing anxiously and sighing the whole time.

What would I do if it wasn’t positive? I’d be sad, but getting over it soon enough. but what if it actually was positive? That bumpy did exist? Maybe it was E…or the girly side of E? who would know? Immediately, flashes of a little girl looking like Edward crossed my mind. She’d be so beautiful…E was beautiful. I missed him terribly. After the Volturi had taken him away in my dreams, he never came back. Bumpy however, let its presence known.

I glanced at the clock on my phone again and saw my waiting time had passed. Oh god! It was now or never, the moment of truth. Biting my fingernails, I slowly went to the wash table, shivers all over my body from the tension. I closed my eyes as I picked up the white stick and took a deep breath before reopening my eyes and seeing something that would change my life forever.

 

There were two stripes on it.

_____________________________________________________________________________

translation from Italian:

avete avuto da me qualcosa che voglio = you have got something from me that i want

Dolcezza = liefje

Allora si dovrà averlo = then you’ll have him

portarlo con me = take him with me

intelligente non è lui? – smart isn’t he?

vivo o morto = dead or alive

non si può! Dallo a me ORA!= you can't! give him to me NOW!

Fino Mai Addio = until never again

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